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“5. not-so-magic hour The most flattering light for vacation photos is the golden glow just before sunset or right after sunrise, and the most unflattering is, undoubtedly, the full-strength glaring sun. Make the best of a bright situation by seeking the softer light created by the shade of a beach umbrella, cabana, lifeguard tower, or tall lifeguard. If there's no shade in sight and you're truly committed, ask your subject to face their own shadow, and angle a boogie board to bounce light on their face. Or just ask everyone to close their eyes and look down, then, on the count of three, look up and say "Pina colada." Smiles, guaranteed.”

“10. maritime mail service When you're keen on sending a message in a bottle but dubious about the delivery mechanism, consider the following factors from science-minded seafarers: choose a dark bottle, roll the message inward to avoid the ink fading in the sun, drop the bottle in a place with a steady current, and wait a loooooong time. (As of this book's publication, the world's oldest message in a bottle was discovered 132 years after it was sent.) Is this the wrong time to mention that the greatest predictor of survival is hope?”

“3. burn, baby, margarita burn Avoid phytophotodermatitis, aka margarita burn, aka what happens when you gallantly make lots of gin and tonics on a sailboat, inadvertently squeeze citric acid on your skin, and spend the day in the sun, inviting a low-grade chemical burn. You can skip this very specific seasonal hazard by always washing your hands after playing beach bartender.”