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“But she knew herself. Her body longed to feel pain, to exact it, but her mind feared it too much to allow herself the freedom to. Besides, her knuckles were already blistering from the beating they’d been taking for the better part of an hour. Without the gloves she’d have shattered a hand by now. Wouldn’t that be just like her. To fear pain so and yet stumble into it at every opportunity.”

“These people couldn’t possibly doubt or worry or sulk. These people couldn’t possibly feel insecurity and shame and pain. These people liked to have fun, and so they did. Was it really that simple? Could she too reduce herself to such shallow waters and escape the depths that plagued her active mind? She was so intoxicated by the thought, that she’d convinced herself she could be like them.”