“What started as a longing to be loved and seen for my physical beauty digressed into the warped belief that the illness itself was what drew the attention I so craved. I towed the line between longing for perfection and longing for pity. Using my body as a signaling flag, oscillating between peacocking in times where I felt beautiful, and waving distress calls in the depths of my sickness. I never used my words, and I didn’t know how to. I used my body.” Eating DisordersAnorexiaEating DisorderBody DysmorphiaAnorexicBinge Eating Disorder Book:Where the River Flows: A memoir of loss, love & life with an Eating Disorder Source: Where the River Flows: A memoir of loss, love & life with an Eating Disorder