“Maybe I’m half over who he
was, but not who I thought he was, and not
over the wound, sudden deathblow
as if out of nowhere, though it came from the core
of our life together.”
Source: Stag's Leap (Pulitzer Prize Winner): Poems
“Sleep and dream—but not of his return.”
Source: Stag's Leap (Pulitzer Prize Winner): Poems
“I am glad not to have lost him
entirely, but to see him moved
at the whim of the sky, like a man in the wind”
Source: Stag's Leap (Pulitzer Prize Winner): Poems
“he is like
an icon, he is like a fantasy.
I did not know him, I knew my idea
of him.”
Source: Stag's Leap (Pulitzer Prize Winner): Poems
“I do not let
go of him yet, but hold the string
and watch my idea of him pull away
and stay, and pull away, my silver kite.”
Source: Stag's Leap (Pulitzer Prize Winner): Poems
“it was never in doubt that you had suffered more than I
when young.”
Source: Stag's Leap (Pulitzer Prize Winner): Poems
“I had not remembered
how deep he held himself inside
himself”
Source: Stag's Leap (Pulitzer Prize Winner): Poems
“Are you as happy as you thought you'd be,
I ask. Yes. And his smile is touchingly
pleased. I thought you'd look happier,
I say, but after all, when I am
looking at you, you're with me!”
Source: Stag's Leap (Pulitzer Prize Winner): Poems
“And then there is the spring park,
damp as if freshly peeled, sweet
greenhouse, green cemetery with no
dead in it—except, in some shaded
woods, under some years of leaves and
rotted cones, the body of a warbler
like a whole note fallen from the sky—my old
love for him, like a songbird's rib cage picked clean.”
Source: Stag's Leap (Pulitzer Prize Winner): Poems
“A week later, I said to a friend: I don't
think I could ever write about it.
Maybe in a year I could write something.
There is something in me maybe someday
to be written; now it is folded, and folded,
and folded, like a note in school.”
Source: Stag's Leap (Pulitzer Prize Winner): Poems
“and I could tell her the best
of my poor, partial love, I could sing her
out, with it, I saw the luck
and the luxury of that hour.”
Source: Stag's Leap (Pulitzer Prize Winner): Poems
“If I pass a mirror, I turn away,
I do not want to look at her,
and she does not want to be seen.”
Source: Stag's Leap (Pulitzer Prize Winner): Poems
“Minute by minute, I do not get up and just
go to him—”
Source: Stag's Leap (Pulitzer Prize Winner): Poems
“It is what I do now: not go, not
see or touch.”
Source: Stag's Leap (Pulitzer Prize Winner): Poems
“My body may never learn
not to yearn for that one”
Source: Stag's Leap (Pulitzer Prize Winner): Poems
“What if someone had told me, thirty
years ago: If you give up, now,
wanting to be an artist, he might
love you all your life—what would I
have said? I didn't even have an art,
it would could from out of our family's life—
what could I have said: nothing will stop me.”
Source: Stag's Leap (Pulitzer Prize Winner): Poems
“casting himself off a
cliff in his fervor to get free of me.”
Source: Stag's Leap (Pulitzer Prize Winner): Poems
“as he soars from the precipice edge,
dreamy.”
Source: Stag's Leap (Pulitzer Prize Winner): Poems
“It's so quiet,
and empty, when he's left. I feel like a landscape,
a ground without a figure.”
Source: Stag's Leap (Pulitzer Prize Winner): Poems
“Suave
qui peut—let those who can save themselves
save themselves.”
Source: Stag's Leap (Pulitzer Prize Winner): Poems
“In me now
there's a being of sheer hate, like an angel
of hate.”
Source: Stag's Leap (Pulitzer Prize Winner): Poems
“But look! I am starting to give him up!
I believe he is not coming back. Something
has died, inside me, believing that”
Source: Stag's Leap (Pulitzer Prize Winner): Poems
“The other
dreams inside a constellation”
Source: Stag's Leap (Pulitzer Prize Winner): Poems
“and some young men
loved them the way one would want, oneself, to be loved.”
Source: Stag's Leap (Pulitzer Prize Winner): Poems
“God-bye, for the rest
of this life and for the long nothing.”
Source: Stag's Leap (Pulitzer Prize Winner): Poems
“And they do not
know language, they are waiting for him”
Source: Stag's Leap (Pulitzer Prize Winner): Poems
“refreshing to live with, beings without
the knowledge of death, creatures of ignorant suffering.”
Source: Stag's Leap (Pulitzer Prize Winner): Poems
“I think he had come, in private, to
feel he was dying, with me”
Source: Stag's Leap (Pulitzer Prize Winner): Poems
“And so he went
into another world—this
world, where I do not see or hear him”
Source: Stag's Leap (Pulitzer Prize Winner): Poems
“I feel that ignorant love gave me
a life. But from within my illusion of him
I could not see him, or know him.”
Source: Stag's Leap (Pulitzer Prize Winner): Poems
“only
a sojourner, in our home, where the heart,
after its long, good years,
was sparrow-netted to make its own
cage”
Source: Stag's Leap (Pulitzer Prize Winner): Poems
“and farther into cold fog
I let him go, I lay and stretched on love's
fucking stretcher, and let him wander on his
own the haunt salt mazes.”
Source: Stag's Leap (Pulitzer Prize Winner): Poems
“I thought
wherever we were, we were in lasting love—
even in our separateness and
loneliness, in love”
Source: Stag's Leap (Pulitzer Prize Winner): Poems
“I was not the one he wanted to rise from
or return to”
Source: Stag's Leap (Pulitzer Prize Winner): Poems
“It is in the past, enough looking back,
it is gone, it is more over with
than the shocks of childhood.”
Source: Stag's Leap (Pulitzer Prize Winner): Poems
“The glacierscape called it
up, the silent, shining tulle,
the dreaming hats and cubes, the theorems
and corollaries, that girl who had thought
a wedding promise was binding as a law
of physics.”
Source: Stag's Leap (Pulitzer Prize Winner): Poems
“I sat on the air above it
and looked down on its uninhabitable beauty.”
Source: Stag's Leap (Pulitzer Prize Winner): Poems
“the motion
was authentic, it was from another place, it was
planetary, it was model-of-the-solar-
systemic.”
Source: Stag's Leap (Pulitzer Prize Winner): Poems
“I idolized it without
reserve, caution, or limit, I adored it with an
unprotected joy.”
Source: Stag's Leap (Pulitzer Prize Winner): Poems
“Then every scene I thought of
I visited accompanied by a death-spirit,
everything was chilled with it,
each time I woke, I lay in dreading
bliss to feel and hear him sigh
and snore.”
Source: Stag's Leap (Pulitzer Prize Winner): Poems
“Now I come to look at love
in a new way, now that I know I'm not
standing in its light.”
Source: Stag's Leap (Pulitzer Prize Winner): Poems
“a heart's spurt of rage.”
Source: Stag's Leap (Pulitzer Prize Winner): Poems
“I always feared this would happen,
I thought it would be a pure horror,
but it's just home”
Source: Stag's Leap (Pulitzer Prize Winner): Poems
“I lived alongside him, in his hush
and reserve”
Source: Stag's Leap (Pulitzer Prize Winner): Poems
“But now it was time to go beyond
comfort, to part.”
Source: Stag's Leap (Pulitzer Prize Winner): Poems