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Starr Books

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“I asked the universe to teach me how to love and I was sent you. I begged life for guidance and the light appeared as you lead. I bargained with the creator to fix my broken parts and you gave me another chance without taking a new perception of me. I pleaded with source to humble my ego and I heard raw pain in your 1st verbal warning, after my self-destruction recoiled. I cried out to the void asking for genuine love & protection and you avoided my offering of me. I demanded God to reassure me of my worth and you never looked back or returned to me.”

“I know I will never see that smile the same way again, it will never bring me instant comfort nor warm my soul the same again. I know I will miss the flood of emotions that released for your touch to point of dehydration. I will miss the small, pulsating, vibrations running through my body as your voice ricochet in my ear. I will miss the beauty I saw in your pain as you took me on a journey through your soul, thu conversations I will miss our inner child's spontaneous and planned play dates. I will miss the silence in my mind commanded by you taking the lead. I will miss daydreaming about loving you forever, because I still had an ounce of hope leftover after a lifetime of searching for you. I will miss you forgiving me after, I recovered from a trigger, never appreciated the punishment that came with it tho. I will miss not being able to protect your heart from the pain I recognize, that your ego guards from your souls innocents that your mind can't tolerate yet. I will miss the feeling I felt knowing you could really be here with me forever because the exchange of laughter, wisdom and moments never ended. I will miss loving the man you are now in life, because even without the potential I see, you are worthy just as you are . I will miss things about you that you will never know, it was never about status or statuses I didn't want the spotlight, I wanted to be behind the scenes. I just wanted to support and love you. I wanted to guide you through parts of life that almost broke me, that I see you encountering. I will miss having somewhere to pour almost all of me. I will miss the possibility of being loved forever, I know I felt it though the roughness of your sore hands as I caressed trying to alleviate yhe pain. I will miss your grumpy days and I still regret not knowing how to comfort you on the hardest ones. I will miss who I sometimes selfishly dreamed I could be if you could just love me in the way I could feel. I'd dream of waiting for u to get home, (its the one we talked about getting after winning the lottery) . In that moment I swear it was the first time my soul wanted another day voluntarily. I will miss you not understanding my text, but we would see eye to eye when they physically met. I will miss you teaching me, and correcting me softly. I will miss you being gentle, when I didn't even know I needed it. I know it was hard sometimes. I will miss loving you beyond myself. I will miss all those moments I wanted to pull u into me and just feel you and kiss you. I wanted you all the time, it took so much to hold back from showing you, it was out of fear. I SHOULD of done it, would of got to this point faster. I regret not loving you with all me authenticly. I will miss what never was a friend, but everything I never had In one.”

Author:Starr

“I'm forgetting so many things about you, I swear, I can't even remember how those butterflies felt with just the sight, or sound of you. The memory of feeling complete calmness because you always rescued me, from my chaotic thoughts, is almost a distant remembrance. I can't recall, which time you didn't speak up when I begged for words, caused these cuts in my heart, that now bares very fragile stitching borrowed from my self worth. ANONYMOUS”

“So this is it, after all the fight is gone. After all the inner and outer battles are fought. After all the tears have dropped and dried. After all the lust and privilege to each others pleasure has been spent. After our companies over stayed their welcome together. After our conversations and laughter lost its potency. After our hands lost the sensations of each others touch. After our last three kisses. After, after no explanation. ANONYMOUS”

“WHEN HE WON'T LOVE ME I sit quietly here, still, frozen, a lifeless breathing corpse. Inside, abandoned cries for love, ricochet deep in bones. No words pass between my lips, nothing is uttered in protest or defense. Inside, war is proclaimed between the ignorance of flesh and the knowledge of soul. Eyes are fixed in place, to avoid meeting his in this vulnerable state. Inside, is self torture, he is all I can see, no matter the position of eyelids.”