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Brothersong

Book by T.J. Klune · 25 quotes · Emotional Moment, Family, Love

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Brothersong Quotes

“The rusty, broken sound crawled up from his throat, and he was huffing out his nose, but he was smiling, and I understood then what Joe had seen in Ox, why Gordo and Mark were always going to find their way back to each other, why Kelly never stopped searching for Robbie. It was warm like a summer day. It was candy canes and pinecones, it was epic and awesome, it was dirt and leaves and rain, it was grass and lake water and sunshine. It was a forest so alive, so untouched.”

“[...] But sometimes love is poison, and it drips in our ears until our blood runs with it.” “Bring pain,”he said again, suddenly insistent. “You. Pack. Everyone. I go, he stays away.” “Do you want to go?” [...] He said, “Thump, thump, thump.” “What’s that?” “Heart,” he said. “Carter’s heart.” “You hear it.” “Yes.” “It speaks to you.” “Yes.” “What does it say?” He looked stricken. “Gavin, Gavin, Gavin. Not poison.” And then he went to her, his head bowed. He pressed it against her chest, his arms hanging at his sides. He breathed heavily and shuddered when my mother reached up and put her hands in his hair. “There you are,” she whispered to him. “Hello, hello. You’re home. So, no. No, Gavin. You aren’t to go away again. We are stronger together than we ever are apart, and this is where you belong.”

“She said, "Today, today, today. Today feels green. There's still some blue, but that's life, I think. Sometimes it can be a forest. Other times it's an ocean. But we float, don't we? Along the surface. I always thought so, even when I was drowning. There's a song I like. An old one." And remarkably, she started singing. "Sometimes I float along the river, for to its surface I am bound. And there are times stones done fill my pockets, oh Lord, and it's into this river I drown.”

“But it was my own mother I turned to. She was smiling quietly. She said, “Gavin. To me, if you please.” He stiffened, but it didn’t last. He squared his shoulders. He dropped my hand and walked slowly to her. She stood on the steps above him, looking down. She said, “Did you make your choice?” He said, “Yes.” “What did you choose?” And Gavin said, “Carter.” She started to nod, but then he spoke again. “And family. I chose family. Pack. Pack. Pack.” She took his face in her hands. She leaned forward and kissed his forehead. He shuddered at the press of her lips. She pulled away, but only just. She whispered, “This is where you belong. This is where you’re supposed to be. No one else can have you. No one else can take you. I love you, I love you, I love you.”

“But then he said he wanted you. That he wanted you to come to him, and it was like this fire started in my chest. I was never going to let that happen. I was never going to let you go to him. I didn’t understand why. Even in the face of all the little asides, all the knowing smirks that make me feel so goddamn stupid in retrospect. You want to know why I’m here? Why I chased you across miles and miles and for months and months? It’s because it’s not fair. It’s not fair that I finally find something of my own, something all for me, only to have it taken away. Your father was right. I’m tired, Gavin. Of everything. Paying for the mistakes of all those who came before us. All I want is to live free and feel like I’m not dying with every breath I take.” And it was there, finally, the box unlocked. I embraced it as best I could. “You’re my mate.”

“You don’t understand.” He laughed bitterly. “I don’t understand? That’s what you’re going with? Fuck you, Carter. I understood better than anyone. Robbie was taken from us. Taken from me. For thirteen months, I did all I could to get him back. And even when half the pack was against it or, even worse, apathetic about it, I fought for him.” I couldn’t look at him. I struggled to find the words. I said, “You weren’t alone. Gordo, Ox. They—” “I don’t care!” he shouted at me. “Even if I was, I still would have done everything I could. I was never going to let him go. He’s my fucking mate, and I would have torn this world apart to get to him, even if I had to do it by myself. And don’t you dare try and say that’s what you were doing here because it’s not the same. You had your entire pack willing to help you, to do anything we could to get Gavin back. But you decided to play martyr.”

“Who cares, right? I mean, it’s sort of fitting, you know? And even if there wasn’t this thing between us, I could.…” I shook my head. “Even when he was stuck as a wolf, I felt it. I didn’t know what it was. In hindsight, I should have. I hated it at first, but I got used to it. Then he was gone. It hurt more than I ever thought something like that could. And all I could think about was getting to him. I need him to be my shadow because without him, I’m … I felt lost. He’s snarly. He’s surly. He’s a pain in my fucking ass. But there’s no one like him. Dad told me once that there could be others, that there wasn’t just one person. That we had a choice. I think I’ve made mine, though. If he’ll have me. Do you think he’ll have me? I’m not perfect. I make mistakes.” I shrugged awkwardly. “He sees through that, though. I exasperate him, I annoy him, and he scowls at me like he wants to punch my fucking teeth down my throat. And it all goes away when he says thump, thump, thump. Because he hears my heart and it anchors him. How can I say no to that? Who cares if he’s a man or a woman or somewhere in between? It doesn’t matter. All I care about is that he sees me. Like, really sees me. And I see him.” I looked at my brothers. They were gaping at me. “What?” I said, suddenly self-conscious. I rubbed the back of my neck as my face grew hot. “Holy shit,” Kelly breathed. “You love him,” Joe whispered. I glared at them. “I do not. Shut up.” “No,” Kelly said, voice growing louder. “You looooooove him.”

“She said, “That man out there. That wonderful man followed you for years. He put himself between you and harm’s way time and time again. And when he thought his father was going to take you away from him, when you were screaming as Livingstone’s magic was pouring into you, he made his choice. He found it within himself to crawl from the depths of whatever feral hell he was in. For you, Carter. How are you so blind to that? I know he’s not what you expected. I know you never thought about one such as him—” [...] But don’t ever doubt what Gavin Walsh feels for you. Everything he’s done has been for you. Carter, can’t you see? He loves you. So much so that he was willing to sacrifice himself in Caswell just to keep you safe. He chose you over his father. It’s why he left with him. Not because he wanted to. But because he thought it would mean Livingstone could never touch you again.”

“And then I saw him. In the snow. Behind the trees. A white wolf. Black on his back and chest. His eyes burned red. He said chase me i love you chase me. I said, “Daddy?” because I was just a little boy again, and my father, my father was there, and he was never going to leave me, he was never going to leave me again. He ran. I chased after him. Tree branches slapped against my face and chest, sharp stings as the blanket flared around me. I almost dropped it. I almost let it go. PackLoveSon to me to me come to me”

“Livingstone,” Gavin said again, almost stubbornly. “I call him Livingstone. Not Dad. I had….” “You had,” I said, squeezing his hand. He glanced at me quickly before looking back down at the table. “I had Dad. Mom too. Not real parents. But still good.” “What happened to them?” Robbie asked quietly. “Dead,” Gavin said in a dull voice. “Long time ago. Still human when it happened. Car accident. I didn’t know what to do. After. Then I was wolf. Then I was Omega. And now I’m here.” All those years broken down into a few short sentences. I wondered if I would ever know all that had happened to him or if it would be locked away in his mind. Memories hurt when you let them.”