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“There are too many steps, and I’m scared I’m going to do it wrong and ruin Christmas like Patrick said. “I didn’t read the instructions early enough to do this at a reasonable time. This is my longest break of the year, and I’ve spent it vacuuming, dusting, decorating, and now I’m making a whole damn feast. If this was a school night, I’d be winding down already. Instead, I’m cosplaying Ina Garten!”

“I sigh, realizing that the boy I'm talking about is a different iteration of myself from a separate past life, removed from who I am here. All the previous me's have been chunked off, lopped into little figurines in a Dickens-style display that represent old hurts. Oh, how I want to take a bat to the table and smash them all to smithereens.”