Home / Quotes / Quote by Alonzo Bodden

Quote by Alonzo Bodden

“In a relationship you have to communicate, which means listening to her talk. Ladies, you fake orgasms. We fake listening.”

Quote by Alonzo Bodden

Author

Alonzo Bodden is an American comedian known for his unique humor style and sharp wit. Born on June 13, 1962, he has been active in the comedy scene since the 1990s, gaining widespread recognition and acclaim for his exceptional comedic talent and personal charm. more

You May Also Like

“Black people don't hijack planes, alright? Now I'll be the first to admit, we steal a lot of stuff, but we do not hijack planes. In fact, in the history of aviation, a black person has never even attempted to hijack a plane. Do you want to know why? Because you can't sell an airplane.”

People Knows Want Firsts Persons Facts Stuff Black Sells Stealing Planes Aviation Black People Airplane Alright Black Person

Author:Alonzo Bodden

“Scientists are trying to invent Viagra for women. It's been along for years... it's called cash.”

Trying Years Women Scientist Cash Viagra

Author:Alonzo Bodden

“There are three goals for any comedian: to make a living as a comedian; I've been fortunate to do that. To make a name for yourself and to be famous would be great - because it would give me that freedom.”

Giving Would Be Three Names Goal Give Me Comedian Fortunate

Author:Alonzo Bodden

“Comedy is the drug, when they laugh it's like I'm a jazz musician and they hear it, and they get it. It's power to take the crowd wherever I want them to go. I love it when they laugh, especially when they relate through laughter. It's a beautiful thing. It also means I'm going to get paid, which is nice.”

Want Mean Beautiful Laughing Comedy Nice Drug Musician Laughter Paid Jazz Crowds Relate Beautiful Things Jazz Music Jazz Musician

Author:Alonzo Bodden

“There's always something that's going to kill us all. A few years ago, tomatoes were going to kill us and a few years before that it was spinach. The FDA is run by a 7-year-old kid that hates vegetables!”

Years Running Kids Hate Years Ago Vegetables Tomatoes Fda Spinach

Author:Alonzo Bodden

“I don't like conservatives. They always talk about the good old days. I'm black, we have no good old days.”

Black Old Days Good Old Days

Author:Alonzo Bodden

“I could always make people laugh.”

People Laughing Making People Laugh

Author:Alonzo Bodden

“Watching news showing all the same sex marriages. How long before first same sex divorce?”

Firsts Long Sex News Divorce

Author:Alonzo Bodden

“You can't bring tweezers on an airplane. If I'm on a plane and you try to hijack it with tweezers, I'll whip your ass, man. You think I'm going to be late because you've got tweezers and a bad attitude?”

Ifs Thinking Men Trying Attitude Late Ass Planes Airplane Whips Bad Attitude

Author:Alonzo Bodden

“I was on the highway - I saw the scariest thing in the world, man. I saw an Asian driving an SUV. Really, I just drove my car right into the guardrail, figured I'd save him some time.”

Men World Saws Car Driving Highways Asian Suvs Guardrails

Author:Alonzo Bodden