Home / Quotes / Quote by Conan O'Brien

Quote by Conan O'Brien

“Tax day was yesterday. And marijuana growers are complaining that they can't write off a single expense thanks to federal laws. Well, apparently someone tried to claim the Phish tour as his home office and that's not going to happen.”

Quote by Conan O'Brien

Author

Conan O'Brien, born on April 18, 1963, is a renowned talk show host from the United States. Known for his unique sense of humor and engaging interaction with audiences, he has hosted several popular talk show programs. more

You May Also Like

“Hillary Clinton is making income inequality a central theme in her campaign. Yeah, for example, today she pointed out that her husband makes $300 million a year. She has to get by on $200 million a year, and that's not fair.”

Years Today Millions Example Husband Fairs Yeah Clinton Campaigns Income Inequality Theme Not Fair Income Inequality

Author:Conan O'Brien

“Hillary Clinton is trying an entirely different approach with Iowa than the one she tried eight years ago when she lost there. She will not start speeches by saying, 'Hello, Iowa, or Idaho, or whichever one you are.'”

Trying Years Different Lost Speech Approach Years Ago Clinton Eight Hello Iowa Idaho Different Approach Saying Hello

Author:Conan O'Brien

“It's April 15, tax day. The federal tax code is over 74,000 pages long. But stick with it because after page 72,000, it gets really good.”

Long Taxes Pages Sticks Code April Get Real Tax Day Federal Taxes

Author:Conan O'Brien

“Governor Chris Christie says if he's president, he will crack down on the sale of marijuana. However, that was before he was told it also comes in a brownie.”

Ifs President Cracks Marijuana Governors Christie Brownies

Author:Conan O'Brien

“Hillary Clinton announced she's running for president. Yesterday in Ohio, Hillary popped into a Chipotle and she ordered a burrito bowl with chips and salsa. And on her way out she said, 'That locks down the Hispanic vote.'”

Way Said Running President Vote Clinton Yesterday Bowls Locks Chips Ohio Hispanic Salsa Burritos Chipotle Chips And Salsa

Author:Conan O'Brien

“Jeb Bush welcomed his fourth grandchild. The new Bush grandchild is happy, healthy, and will be running for president in 2048.”

Running President Healthy Fourth Grandchildren

Author:Conan O'Brien

“Hillary Clinton is not the first woman to run for president. That title belongs to Victoria Woodhull, who ran for president in 1872. Her running mate was a young, scrappy John McCain.”

Firsts Running Young President Clinton Titles Ran Mates Mccain Victoria

Author:Conan O'Brien

“Hillary Clinton is now driving from New York to Iowa. It's been called the least-exciting spring break trip in history.”

Break New York Spring Exciting Clinton Driving Iowa Spring Break

Author:Conan O'Brien

“Marco Rubio announced he's running for president. Fun fact: Marco Rubio's wife is a former Miami Dolphins cheerleader. In other words, she knows how to generate fake enthusiasm for someone who's not going to win.”

Knows Facts Running Winning Fun President Know How Wife Enthusiasm Former Fake Miami Dolphins Marcos Cheerleader Miami Dolphins

Author:Conan O'Brien

“A new report says that dogs can sniff out prostate cancer with almost 98 percent accuracy. The report also finds that cats can sniff it out with 100 percent accuracy but they prefer to watch you die.”

Dies Watches Dog Percent Cat Cancer Reports Accuracy Prostate Prostate Cancer

Author:Conan O'Brien