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Quote by Aziz Ansari

“No one's trying to get with jugglers.”

Quote by Aziz Ansari

Author

Aziz Ansari is an American actor, comedian, and writer renowned for his contributions to television and film. He is best known for his role as Tom Haverford in the HBO series 'Parks and Recreation' and as Dev Shah in the Netflix series 'Master of None'. Ansari has also produced several stand-up specials and authored books on dating and social media, making him a prominent figure in the entertainment industry. more

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“Sometimes you gotta work a little, so you can ball a lot.”

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“What if I couldn't read? I wouldn't be able to text my friends movie times or even order cheese biscuits from Red Lobster!”

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“When I bet on horses, I never lose. Why? I bet on all the horses.”

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“When I'm dating someone, I have a list called my 'Oh No Nos.' If a woman commits a Oh No No, it can end the relationship. Not loving '90s R&B music is #3 on the Oh No Nos list. Girl don't even know who Ginuwine is.”

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“Yeah, I've been a little down. Totally natural. I'm getting a divorce, but now I'm ready to pull myself up by some G-strings.”

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“Yes, I'm married. But my wife understands that a good politician has to be appealing to the ladies. The fact that I haven't even gotten close to cheating on her is a disappointment to us both.”

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“You don't know Jay-Z's scedule. He's a renaissance man.”

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“Cooking professionally is a dominant act, at all times about control. Eating well, on the other hand, is about submission. It's about giving up all vestiges of control, about entrusting your fate entirely to someone else. It's about turning off the mean, manipulative, calculating, and shrewd person inside you, and slipping heedlessly into a new experience as if it were a warm bath. It's about shutting down the radar and letting good things happen. Let it happen to you.”

Source: The Nasty Bits: Collected Cuts, Useable Trim, Scraps and Bones