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Listen to the Silence

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David W. Elliott

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“By my early twenties, I was still devoted to heroic woman stories, but the love narratives had started to lose some of their appeal. The release of a new Meg Ryan/Tom Hanks vehicle seemed far less interesting to me than the latest installment of the Alien movie franchise. Had I lost interest in romance? Far from it. In fact, this was at the time in my life when I was very serious about finding a great love. However, I was also struggling to be my own person, to understand my identity, to follow my own dreams and start down my chosen career path. I had plans to travel the world, to attend graduate school. I was coming into—and exercising—my own forms of strength and independence. But I was tired of the one-sided representations of male-identified characters doing this, of feeling that only one version of this kind of empowerment existed. I wanted balance and social justice. I wanted to see more evidence of women on screen doing the same, women making a difference, doing something amazing, and being the heroes of their own lives and stories. Unfortunately, there weren’t very many female-bodied characters who did that who also got to find love. In fact, the more romance a woman enjoyed in a narrative, the less strength or independence of any kind she expressed in the story, especially before the last two decades. (3)”

LoveRomancePowerFeminismStrengthIndependence
Author:Allison P. Palumbo
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“As a viewer, I was left torn, wanting the women to have it all, to not seem to be excluded if they dared to transgress the traditional female gender role, but finding myself presented with heroines who never did, who seemingly had to choose between heroic accomplishment and romance, and who made it more complicated to see these options as possible for other than the male-identified. This representational “either/or” is one more symptom of the so-called war between the sexes that continues to confound feminists about the roles romantic relationships play in our lives and even the idea of romance itself: how are we to be dedicated to empowering ourselves and others but also to find a real romantic connection if that interests us? (4)”

LoveRomancePowerFeminismStrengthIndependenceSex Wars
Author:Allison P. Palumbo
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“This problem—the reconciliation of feminist goals and activism with romance and its ties to narrow conceptions of womanhood—has been far from solved for feminists growing up in the 21st century, whether on screen or in real life. This problem is at the heart of my own yearnings and my attempts to find assurance and even decent blueprints in the unsatisfactory onscreen fantasies about the strong, independent woman. (5)”

LoveRomancePowerFeminismStrengthIndependence
Author:Allison P. Palumbo
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“There have been glimpses of alternative romance narratives—not only in niche genres or in programs with small but dedicated followings, but also in Hollywood blockbusters and primetime television—that represent an empowered version of womanhood that still finds room for intimacy, even if it is a struggle. These alternative romance narratives offer sites of potential resistance, transformation, and agency. They show us examples where feminist-friendly heterosexual intimacies are being advanced and even celebrated, where pockets of popular culture are replacing the feminist man-hating stereotype with a feminist man-loving ideal—whether the love is romantic or not—that portrays female relationships with men in ways that avoid or question the old caricatures. (6)”

LoveRomancePowerFeminismStrengthIndependence
Author:Allison P. Palumbo
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