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Quote by Chris Hardwick

“You can't touch the strippers. Why are you paying to not touch someone? That is weird. How do you win in that situation? That is like walking into a deli, starving, and being like, 'Here's $300 - can I stare at the roast beef? Better yet, I'll sit down in this chair and you can mash it around my mouth and balls.”

Quote by Chris Hardwick

Author

Chris Hardwick, born on November 23, 1971, is a renowned American comedian. He is known for his unique sense of humor and extensive entertainment career, which includes hosting television shows, participating in film production, and being a popular internet personality. Hardwick's career began in comedy clubs in the 1990s, and he gradually gained prominence in the television and film industries. more

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“I honestly think hipsters eat with their assholes because they consume everything wrong.”

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“Rats are just Ziploc bags full of disease.”

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“A lot of people complain in the year 2003 that it's not the world of tomorrow as foreseen in the 1950s. 'Where are the flying cars?' people say. 'Where are the robots who bring us blue drinks and warn us of danger?' Alright. We don't have those things, specifically, folks, but you know what we do have? Laser vaginal rejuvenation surgery.”

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“I dated around some, but I've always been a serial monogamist. I don't know how people date around a lot, and not want to stab themselves in the face with a sharp object.”

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“All television is an advertisement - that's why it exists. It wasn't the art-form first and then the commerce - it was that they could put on entertainment long enough to distract people into looking at products. It's for focusing people on advertising and separating you from money in some way. Some people forget that. The side product is that we get some great eye candy. TV is the best it has ever been right now. I don't have a problem with that since it's what keep us employed.”

“We begin to change the world when we stimulate long-term prosperity using technology. There is not a problem that's large enough that innovation and entrepreneurship can't solve.”

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“There are certain parts of a classic nerd's brain that can destroy that person - obsessing about things to the detriment of everything else in your life. But those are the same tools that you can use to turn everything around.”

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“There's no ironic appreciation of things we love, even of things that are in fact ridiculous, which a hipster might take and own and show the world the humor in it.”

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“Fleetwood Mac is just one of my all-time favorite bands.”

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