“In Montana, a math teacher is running for the Senate. Win or lose, she plans on demanding a recount because math is fun.” Quote by Conan O'Brien
“Yesterday was the New York City Marathon. The marathon was won in record time by a Democrat candidate running away from President Obama.” RunningPresidentCitiesRecordsNew YorkDemocratYesterdayCandidatesNew York CityPresident ObamaRunning AwayMarathon Author:Conan O'Brien
“Tomorrow is Election Day. That's the day we Americans wake up, consider our options, and then remember we didn't register to vote.” RememberTomorrowVoteWake UpElectionRegisterElection Day Author:Conan O'Brien
“I have never pretended to be any kind of super-religious kind of man, but I feel very strongly that you can be funny without being dirty.” MenFeelsKindReligiousDirtyVery Strong Author:Jonathan Winters
“I was always an observer, even as a child. I could be satisfied to sit in a car for 3 hours and just look at the street go by while my mother went shopping.” LooksChildrenMotherHoursStreetsCarSatisfiedShoppingObservers Author:Jonathan Winters
“My paintings and comedy have a lot in common. They are both improvisations based on observation.” CommonComedyPaintingObservationImprovisation Author:Jonathan Winters
“My mother had a radio show - a Barbara Walters type of gal and was very successful for about 20-some years on a radio station.” YearsShowsMotherSuccessfulTypeRadioStationsBarbaraRadio StationsGals Author:Jonathan Winters
“I find painting a much slower process than comedy, where you can go a mile a minute verbally and hope to God that some of the people out there understand you.” PeopleProcessComedyMinutesPaintingMiles Author:Jonathan Winters
“I've done for the most part pretty much what I intended - I ended up doing comedy, writing and painting. I've had a ball. And as I get older, I just become an older kid.” WritingDoneKidsComedyPaintingBallsComedy Writing Author:Jonathan Winters
“Earlier today, we got a call from Stephen Hawking. He's a genius, and after 6,028 shows he ran the numbers and he said it works out to about eight minutes of laughter.” SaidShowsTodayNumbersMinutesGeniusLaughterWork OutEightRan Author:David Letterman
“I'll be honest with you. It's beginning to look like I'm not going to get 'The Tonight Show.'” LooksShowsHonestBeing HonestTonight Author:David Letterman