“I'm just trying to make a smudge on the collective unconscious.”
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Famous David Letterman Quotes
“If it wasn't for coffee, I'd have no discernible personality at all.”
“Compared to Clinton, I feel like a loser. I can't even get the intern to make me coffee!”
“Sometimes when you look in his eyes you get the feeling that someone else is driving.”
“Everyone has a purpose in life. Perhaps yours is watching television.”
“My retirement plan was in place but Bernie Maidoff with my money.”
“Valentine's Day money-saving tip: Break up on February 13th, get back together on the 15th.”
“He opened a window in my heart, and the light of the world shined in.”
“I vote Democrat because Freedom of Speech is fine as long as nobody is offended by it.”
“I had no idea this thing was televised. Boy, is my face red.”
“While I was gone, I had quintuple bypass surgery on my heart. Plus, I got a haircut.”
“Last month Mitt Romney raised $76 million. He found it in an old sport-coat pocket.”