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Humour Quotes

Browse 4371 quotes about Humour.

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Humour Quotes

“Humour allows us to see that ultimately things don't make sense. The only thing that truly makes sense is letting go of anything we continue to hold on to. Our ego-mind and emotions are a dramatic illusion. Of course, we all feel that they're real: my drama, your drama, our confrontations. We create these elaborate scenarios and then react to them. But there is nothing really happening outside our mind! This is karma's cosmic joke. You can laugh about the irony of this, or you can stick with your scenario. It's your choice.”

FeelsMindRealChoicesCoursesEmotionLaughingHumourDramaLetting GoEgoLaughterHappeningsJokesIllusionUltimateSticksKarmaMake SenseIronyDramaticAllowingCosmicHolding OnScenariosConfrontationReacting
Author:Dzigar Kongtrul Rinpoche
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“GOOSE, n. A bird that supplies quills for writing. These, by some occult process of nature, are penetrated and suffused with various degrees of the bird's intellectual energies and emotional character, so that when inked and drawn mechanically across paper by a person called an "author," there results a very fair and accurate transcript of the fowl's thought and feeling. The difference in geese, as discovered by this ingenious method, is considerable: many are found to have only trivial and insignificant powers, but some are seen to be very great geese indeed.”

WritingPersonsCharacterFeelingsScienceFoundEnergyProcessDifferencesResultsEmotionalHumourDegreesPaperIntellectualBirdFairsMethodVariousAccurateInsignificantSuppliesOccultGeeseIngeniousThoughts And FeelingsFowlQuills
Book:The Devil's Dictionary: The Devil World
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“GRAVITATION, n. The tendency of all bodies to approach one another with a strength proportioned to the quantity of matter they contain-the quantity of matter they contain being ascertained by the strength of their tendency to approach one another. This is a lovely and edifying illustration of how science, having made A the proof of B, makes B the proof of A.”

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Book:The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary
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“GUNPOWDER, n. An agency employed by civilized nations for the settlement of disputes which might become troublesome if left unadjusted. By most writers the invention of gunpowder is ascribed to the Chinese, but not upon very convincing evidence. Milton says it was invented by the devil to dispel angels with, and this opinion seems to derive some support from the scarcity of angels.”

IfsSeemsMightScienceLeftNationsOpinionSupportHumourDevilEvidenceAngelInventionChineseAgencyCivilizedEmployedDisputesConvincingSettlementScarcityTroublesomeMiltonGunpowderCivilized NationsConvincing Evidence
Book:The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary
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“HIBERNATE, v. i. To pass the winter season in domestic seclusion. There have been many singular popular notions about the hibernation of various animals. Many believe that the bear hibernates during the whole winter and subsists by mechanically sucking its paws. It is admitted that it comes out of its retirement in the spring so lean that it has to try twice before it can cast a shadow.”

TryingBelieveHas BeensWholeScienceAnimalHumourBearsSpringShadowSeasonsNotionWinterCastsVariousRetirementPawsSeclusionWinter SeasonHibernation
Book:Delphi Complete Works of Ambrose Bierce (Illustrated)
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“LEAD, n. A heavy blue-gray metal much used ... as a counterpoise to an argument of such weight that it turns the scale of debate the wrong way. An interesting fact in the chemistry of international controversy is that at the point of contact of two patriotisms lead is precipitated in great quantities.”

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Book:Delphi Complete Works of Ambrose Bierce (Illustrated)
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“LIVER, n. A large red organ thoughtfully provided by nature to be bilious with. The sentiments and emotions which every literary anatomist now knows to haunt the heart were anciently believed to infest the liver; and even Gascoygne, speaking of the emotional side of human nature, calls it "our hepaticall parte." It was at one time considered the seat of life; hence its name- liver, the thing we live with.”

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Book:The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary
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“RAILROAD, n. The chief of many mechanical devices enabling us to get away from where we are to where we are no better off. For this purpose the railroad is held in highest favor by the optimist, for it permits him to make the transit with great expedition.”

SciencePurposeHumourHighestFavorsChiefsGet AwayDevicesPermitOptimistBetter OffEnablingRailroadsExpeditionsRailroad TracksTrain Tracks
Book:The Devil's Dictionary: The Devil World
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“TELESCOPE, n. A device having a relation to the eye similar to that of the telephone to the ear, enabling distant objects to plague us with a multitude of needless details. Luckily it is unprovided with a bell summoning us to the sacrifice.”

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Book:Delphi Complete Works of Ambrose Bierce (Illustrated)
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“A story, in which native humour reigns, Is often useful, always entertains; A graver fact, enlisted on your side, May furnish illustration, well applied; But sedentary weavers of long tales Give me the fidgets, and my patience fails.”

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Book:The complete poetical works of William Cowper, with life and critical notice of his writings
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“It was a dangerous profession I had chosen ... because no one likes a funny kid. In fact, adults are scared silly of them and tend to warn children who act out that they are going to wind up in prison or worse. It is only when you grow up that they pay you vast sums of money to make them laugh.”

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Book:Leaving home: a memoir
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