Best Satire Quotes | Short & Famous Sayings

“INTIMACY, n. A relation into which fools are providentially drawn for their mutual destruction. Two Seidlitz powders, one in blue And one in white, together drew And having each a pleasant sense Of t'other powder's excellence, Forsook their jackets for the snug Enjoyment of a common mug. So close their intimacy grew One paper would have held the two. To confidences straight they fell, Less anxious each to hear than tell; Then each remorsefully confessed To all the virtues he possessed, Acknowledging he had them in So high degree it was a sin. The more they said, the more they felt Their spirits with emotion melt, Till tears of sentiment expressed Their feelings. Then they effervesced! So Nature executes her feats Of wrath on friends and sympathetes The good old rule who won't apply, That you are you and I am I.”

Feelings Trust Betrayal Intimacy Satire Sharing

Book:The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary

Source: The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary

“Positive, adj.: Mistaken at the top of one's voice.”

Humor Positive Errors Mistakes Certainty Satire Self Assurance Assertions

Book:The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary

Source: The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary

“Once you were in the hands of a Grand Vizier, you were dead. Grand Viziers were always scheming megalomaniacs. It was probably in the job description: "Are you a devious, plotting, unreliable madman? Ah, good, then you can be my most trusted minister.”

Government Politics Leadership History Trust Satire Devious Minister Madman Grand Vizier

Book:Interesting Times

Source: Interesting Times

“There is nothing morally wrong with buying stolen goods, unless you know that they were stolen.”

Source: The Use and Misuse of Children

“Not every single way of saying the right thing is right.”

Humor Funny Understanding Humour Approach Jokes Humorous Right Thing Satire Wrong Sympathy Aphorism Right Joke Hilarious Aphorisms Aphorist Aphorists The Right Thing

Author:Mokokoma Mokhonoana

“Stepfather?" "It means he fucks your mum and isn't really your dad.”

Technology Courage Absurd Satire Manipulation Vivid Introspective Surrealism Drug Use Emotional Depth

Book:Motive Black

Source: Motive Black

“L.G.B.T.Q.I.P.O.Z.A.A.C.V………….””

Technology Courage Absurd Satire Manipulation Vivid Introspective Surrealism Drug Use Emotional Depth

Book:Motive Black

Source: Motive Black

“Some people talk about other people’s failures with so much pleasure that you would swear they are talking about their own successes.”

“Bangladesh's meme community has shown that satire is not just about jokes, it is about truth, courage and community.”

Truth Courage Journalism Satire Bangladesh

Author:Apurba Jahangir

“People who smile while they are alone used to be called insane, until we invented smartphones and social media.”

“Don't these schools do enough damage making all these kids think alike, now they have to make them look alike too? It's not a new idea, either. I first saw it in old newsreels from the 1930s, but it was hard to understand because the narration was in German.”

Humor School History Satire Uniform George Carlin

Author:George Carlin

“Tell me everything!" she'd cry, salivating. Poor Reva. She might actually have thought I was capable of sharing things. "Friends forever?" She'd want us to make some sacred pact. She always wanted to make pacts. "Let's make a pact to have brunch at least twice a month. Let's promise to go for a walk through Central Park every Saturday. Let's have a daily call-time. Will you swear to take a ski trip this year? It burns so many calories.”

Humor Friendship Relationship Friends Satire Cliche Pact Ottessa Moshfegh My Year Of Rest And Relaxation Closed Off

Book:My Year of Rest and Relaxation

Source: My Year of Rest and Relaxation

“This is why people like writing. You visit old friends without having to go on Facebook and see what they're up to and deal with what idiots call FOMO. You make them into what you want them to be, the people they could be if only they were braver, smarter.”

Writing Friends Social Media Satire Facebook Social Commentary Caroline Kepnes Hidden Bodies

Book:Hidden Bodies

Source: Hidden Bodies

“To ask a man whether or not he has a girlfriend is to talk about his sex life. If you disagree with that, then how in the name of God do you differentiate between a man’s girlfriend and a girl that is a friend to the man?”

Source: The Use and Misuse of Children

“Getting through life without a lot of money, possessions, and/or friends is admirable, especially if it is by choice.”

“We sometimes try to impress people we just met by not trying to impress them.”

“It is usually unbearably painful to read a book by an author who knows way less than you do, unless the book is a novel.”

Book Stories Wisdom Humor Funny Pain Suffering Quotes Literature Understanding Grief Education Consciousness Fiction Knowledge Novel Learning Too Much Sadness Awareness Ignorance Humour Books Sorrow Despair Perception Heartbreak Jokes Humorous Capacity Accounts Misery Entertainment Appreciation Ignorant Command Educated Realization Narrative Accomplishment Heartache Torture Author Writer Enlightened Satire Story Writers Unhappiness Capability Mastery Nonfiction Acceptable Aphorism Entertaining Agony Distress Quotations Joke Torment Essays Hilarious Escape Unbearable Discomfort Authors Understand Know Expertise Scholarship Comprehension Aphorisms Schooling Escapism Apprehension Cognition Knowledgeable Illiterate Desolation Essay Skill Uneducated Tolerable Wretchedness Manageable Well Educated Scholarly Aphorist Aphorists Overpowering Insufferable Uninformed Erudite Unendurable Erudition Proficiency Learned Narratives Comprehend Account Entertain Grasp Sustainable Unacceptable Well Read Inexperienced Cultivated Cultured Intolerable Well Informed Cognizance Unschooled Unsophisticated Endurable Insupportable Unworldly Man Of Letters Unknowledgeable Unread Untrained Via Dolorosa Adeptness Admissible Be Acquainted With Be Conversant With Be Familiar With Be Up To Speed On Be Versed In Benighted Brookable Expertness Have A Grasp Of Have Knowledge Of Have Learned Have Mastered Have Memorized Knowledgable Men Of Letters Sufferable Supportable Unenlightened Unlearned Unlettered Unmanageable Untaught Untutored Woman Of Letters Women Of Letters

Author:Mokokoma Mokhonoana

“All lies, freckled vows, crying-weeping on your toes Expected jelly beans gusto, got yourself a life imperfecto Too good a gal, too arrogant a gal Too independent, too in need of Chanel Took a careless ride, leaped for a perilous dive Now look who thrived, who gave you a vibe. - Chicken In Chicken Out”

Love Humor Marriage Heartbreak Satire Heartbroken Chicken Cico Chicken In Chicken Out Satire Novel

Book:Chicken In Chicken Out

Source: Chicken In Chicken Out

“Some of the best things that have ever happened to us wouldn’t have happened to us, if it weren’t for some of the worst things that have ever happened to us.”

“The answer to the question ‘How many children do you have?’ and the one to the question ‘How many children are you raising?’ are not identical in all cases: some men are not taking care of their own children, some are knowingly or unknowingly raising other men’s children, and some do not even know that they each have a child, another child, or other children.”

“The fact that you have just buried your parent or parents and/or sibling or siblings does not make you less likely to die today.”

“The pleasure of laughing is more than doubled by the ability of making others laugh.”

Humor Funny Pleasure Comedy Humour Laughter Comic Satire Sarcasm Stand Up Comedy

Author:Mokokoma Mokhonoana

“Most sexually adventurous women want a man who regards cunnilingus as a basic woman right.”

“A man cannot really be called (sexually) confident if he has never bought his woman a vibrator.”