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Joke Quotes

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Joke Quotes

“People take life as a gift even as a joke. But both cases it's not a gift - how everything is gave, the same moment it can be taken. One moment it's needed to do this and one moment you have. Still thinking it's a joke?? It's not really, Santa Clause is a killer, the guy who ruin everything was by Loverboy he is just kill the all biatches, but he was with Santa Clause they both worked together... (I think that the moment was taken, you don't have it. The Gift is gone, the joke was taken. Because you were wrong!)”

TakenGiftWrongJokeBitchBecauseWasBitches
Author:Deyth Banger
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“I don’t like seeing you hit.” “Well, to be quite honest, I don’t like being hit unless it’s by you.” As soon as it was out of my mouth, I realized what I had said. “That sounded all sorts of wrong.” “Insanely so, actually.” “To be clear,” I said to any overhearing ears, “I hit him back--” “Hard.” “It’s a very give-and-take, non-abuse type hitting situation…” The sides of Liam’s mouth folded up like an accordion. “You should probably stop now.” “I’m trying. My mouth keeps moving of its own accord.”

LoveFunnyRelationshipLoversWrongHittingJoke
Book:Fate Succumbs
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“It is usually unbearably painful to read a book by an author who knows way less than you do, unless the book is a novel.”

BookStoriesWisdomHumorFunnyPainSufferingQuotesLiteratureUnderstandingGriefEducationConsciousnessFictionKnowledgeNovelLearningToo MuchSadnessAwarenessIgnoranceHumourBooksSorrowDespairPerceptionHeartbreakJokesHumorousCapacityAccountsMiseryEntertainmentAppreciationIgnorantCommandEducatedRealizationNarrativeAccomplishmentHeartacheTortureAuthorWriterEnlightenedSatireStoryWritersUnhappinessCapabilityMasteryNonfictionAcceptableAphorismEntertainingAgonyDistressQuotationsJokeTormentEssaysHilariousEscapeUnbearableDiscomfortAuthorsUnderstandKnowExpertiseScholarshipComprehensionAphorismsSchoolingEscapismApprehensionCognitionKnowledgeableIlliterateDesolationEssaySkillUneducatedTolerableWretchednessManageableWell EducatedScholarlyAphoristAphoristsOverpoweringInsufferableUninformedEruditeUnendurableEruditionProficiencyLearnedNarrativesComprehendAccountEntertainGraspSustainableUnacceptableWell ReadInexperiencedCultivatedCulturedIntolerableWell InformedCognizanceUnschooledUnsophisticatedEndurableInsupportableUnworldlyMan Of LettersUnknowledgeableUnreadUntrainedVia DolorosaAdeptnessAdmissibleBe Acquainted WithBe Conversant WithBe Familiar WithBe Up To Speed OnBe Versed InBenightedBrookableExpertnessHave A Grasp OfHave Knowledge OfHave LearnedHave MasteredHave MemorizedKnowledgableMen Of LettersSufferableSupportableUnenlightenedUnlearnedUnletteredUnmanageableUntaughtUntutoredWoman Of LettersWomen Of Letters
Author:Mokokoma Mokhonoana
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“The answer to the question ‘How many children do you have?’ and the one to the question ‘How many children are you raising?’ are not identical in all cases: some men are not taking care of their own children, some are knowingly or unknowingly raising other men’s children, and some do not even know that they each have a child, another child, or other children.”

ChildrenHumorCareKidsFunnyParentResponsibilityHumourBrotherJokesResponsibleAbortionSatireParenthoodChildAphorismAdoptionNurtureSistersJokeSiblingSisterUpbringingIrresponsibleAphorismsOffspringSiblingsBrothersAphoristAphoristsKidResponsibilitiesRaiseAdoptStepchildStepchildrenRaisingUnplanned PregnancyAbortAbsent FathersAbsent FatherRearAbsent MothersRearingAbsent MotherUnplanned Pregnancies
Author:Mokokoma Mokhonoana
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“Some women wear a miniskirt to reveal their thighs; some wear one to conceal their age.”

HumorAgeFunnyYoungGirlWomenFashionHumourClothesJokesFemaleDressesWomanSatireGirlsDisplayAphorismObscureJokeRevealingElderlyBlanketAphorismsOldWrinklesSkirtsThighsEclipseHideDressClothingShowFemalesRevealAphoristAphoristsCloudAttireWearVeilShort SkirtsWearingYoungerUncoverConcealWrinkleExhibitShroudSkirtUnveilMini SkirtDiscloseAge Is Nothing But A NumberShort SkirtThighBlock OutEnvelopMiniMiniskirtObstructWoreBlot OutUncloakWomen S Wear
Author:Mokokoma Mokhonoana
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“Some people’s self-esteem was secretly improved when they discovered that their then-lovers had killed themselves over them.”

MenHumorFunnyGirlWomenSecretBoysCourageWifeSelf EsteemHumourConfidenceLoversHusbandJokesHumorousSuicideSelf ConfidenceEsteemManWomanGirlfriendSatireGirlsAphorismLoverJokeSuicidalHilariousBoldnessBetterBoyfriendKillAphorismsConfidentBoyAssertivenessPoiseImproveAphoristAphoristsWivesSelf AssuranceHusbandsKilledGirlfriendsBoyfriendsMettleRomeo And JulietNerveImprovedSuicidesSelf MurderPhlegmAplombSelf PossessionBetteredIn Secret SecretlyKill Herself OverKill Himself OverKill Oneself OverKill Yourself OverKilled Herself OverKilled Himself OverKilling Yourself OverSelf Murders
Author:Mokokoma Mokhonoana
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“Nothing humbles a beautiful woman better than not being wanted by a man whose girlfriend or wife is ugly (or not as beautiful as she is).”

MenWantLoveHumorWantedFunnyBeautifulDesireBeautyWifeHumourProudHusbandJokesShameHumbleUglyLustManGirlfriendArroganceSatireAphorismArrogantModestJokeHumiliationUglinessRespectfulBoyfriendAphorismsLikeDegradeMeekSubmissiveHumiliateAphoristAphoristsWivesHusbandsSelf DeprecatingGirlfriendsBoyfriendsOverbearingUnassumingLowerDiffidentDemeanSubduedSelf EffacingAbaseDeferentialDeflateCut Down To SizeLust ForAbashChastenedDebaseMake Eat CrowMake Eat Humble PieMortifySettle Someone S HashTake Down A Peg Or TwoUnassertive Unpresuming
Author:Mokokoma Mokhonoana
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“Be careful not to appear obsessively intellectual. When intelligence fills up, it overflows a parody.”

ThinkingPhilosophyWisdomHumorCareFunnyScienceBrainKnowledgePsychologyComedyHonestyHumilityPrideGeniusLaughterProfoundAddictionIntelligenceAppearanceTheologyObsessionArroganceExcessNot KnowingJokeRidiculeCautionObsessiveCognitionParodyFunny But TrueApologeticsOverflowOverthinkingKnow It AllGlassPretentiousnessOverdoing ItEgghead
Book:Healology
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“If we had to earn our age by thinking for ourselves at least once a year, only a handful of people would reach adulthood.”

ReasonPhilosophyHumorAgeFunnyIndividualGrowthSocietyCrazyChildhoodHumourHard WorkDevelopmentJokesAdultsLogicMadnessMadMajorityIndividualityPhilosopherCriticalInsaneInsanityMaturitySatireMatureConformityThinkerSanityChildOriginalitySheepAphorismSaneThinkConformJokeToilCritical ThinkingAphorismsGrowUnreasonableImmatureChildlikeCrazinessAdultNonconformityIllogicalImmaturityOriginalDevelopAphoristThinkersAphoristsIndependent ThinkingThink For YourselfHerd MentalityMinorityStandardOriginal ThoughtPhilosophersChildishEarnHerdSheepleThinking For YourselfIndependent ThinkersOriginal ThinkerAge Is Nothing But A NumberIndependent ThinkerMonkey BananaMr Follow FollowOriginal ThinkersReach AdulthoodSilver Plater
Author:Mokokoma Mokhonoana
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“I started studying law, but this I could stand just for one semester. I couldn't stand more. Then I studied languages and literature for two years. After two years I passed an examination with the result I have a teaching certificate for Latin and Hungarian for the lower classes of the gymnasium, for kids from 10 to 14. I never made use of this teaching certificate. And then I came to philosophy, physics, and mathematics. In fact, I came to mathematics indirectly. I was really more interested in physics and philosophy and thought about those. It is a little shortened but not quite wrong to say: I thought I am not good enough for physics and I am too good for philosophy. Mathematics is in between.”

PhilosophyHumorFunnyLawScienceLiteratureLanguageInterestStudyTeachingMathematicsMathPhysicsLatinJokeBiographyHungarian
Author:George Pólya
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“Your relationship or marriage is dead or dying, if you almost always have to remind your partner to miss you (and/or they almost always have to remind you to miss them).”

LoveHumorFunnyDeathRelationshipsForgetMarriageWifeRelationshipDyingHumourLoversHusbandMarriedJokesDatingPartnersGirlfriendSatireUnconditional LoveWeddingAphorismDeadDieLoverJokeSpouseVowBoyfriendSingleAphorismsPartnerDateUnmarriedI Miss YouForgetfulAphoristAphoristsMissSpousesMarriagesWivesMarryHusbandsWedding VowWeddingsGirlfriendsBoyfriendsReminderVowsWedding VowsForgotConditional LoveRemind
Author:Mokokoma Mokhonoana
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“As far as he could discover, there were no signs of spring. The decay that covered the surface of the mottled ground was not the kind in which life generates. Last year, he remembered, May had failed to quicken these soiled fields. It had taken all the brutality of July to torture a few green spikes through the exhausted dirt. What the little park needed, even more than he did, was a drink. Neither alcohol nor rain would do. Tomorrow, in his column, he would ask Broken-hearted, Sick-of-it-all, Desperate, Disillusioned-with-tubercular-husband and the rest of his correspondents to come here and water the soil with their tears. Flowers would then spring up, flowers that smelled of feet. "Ah, humanity..." But he was heavy with shadow and the joke went into a dying fall. He trist to break its fall by laughing at himself.”

LifeHumanityFallNatureChangeLaughingSadnessDyingTearsDepressionSpringSeasonsStressResistanceTortureSoilDecayJokePlantsMiss Lonelyhearts
Book:Miss Lonelyhearts
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“Most unintelligent or foolish people do not regard themselves as that; they regard themselves as not-that-intelligent or not-that-wise.”

HumorAbleFunnyQuotesSoundKnowingWiseStupidHumourSmartJokesHumorousIntelligentBrilliantFoolishSillyCleverIgnorantRationalDumbEnlightenedSatireLogicalInsightfulSensibleThickAphorismSaneSophisticatedIrrationalGiftedQuotationsJokeSageHilariousIntuitiveAphorismsPrudentKnowledgeableDenseMindlessIdioticDiscerningBrightAphoristAphoristsSlowUnintelligentTalentedAstuteLearnedVapidVacuousBrainlessDiscriminatingThoughtlessShrewdBrainyDimQuick WittedPerceptiveSharp WittedSagaciousCannyJudiciousObtusePerspicaciousDull WittedWitlessHalfwittedQuick On The UptakeBubbleheadedDopeyDozyFeeblemindedKnuckleheadedLunkheadedSapientSimpleminded
Author:Mokokoma Mokhonoana
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“Some people ate less food less often when they each had a home than they now do as hobos.”

HumorFunnyPoorPovertyFoodHumourJokesHumorousHungerHungrySatireAphorismThirstHomelessJokeHilariousStarvingHomelessnessStarvationAphorismsOrphanTransientThirstyEatAphoristAphoristsTrampsOrphansMealVagabondsVagrantsStarveHobosDerelictVagabondDriftersHoboBumBumsTrampPoverty LineVagrantItinerantStreet KidsDerelictsDown And Out DrifterHoboesItinerantsStreet KidTransients
Author:Mokokoma Mokhonoana
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“You are more likely to find three TVs inside a randomly selected house than you are to find a single book that is or was not read to pass an exam, to please God, or to be a better cook.”

BookGodHomeHumorSchoolFunnyReligionQuotesReadingLiteratureHouseEducationKnowledgeStudyAtheismTelevisionCollegeHumourBooksReaderPleaseJokesHumorousBibleLibraryUniversityAtheistScriptureEmploymentSatireAphorismQuotationsJokeEssaysHilariousFailAphorismsSchoolingScripturesBookstoresLibrariesReadersEssayTvAbodeBookwormBookshopsVerseAphoristAphoristsStudyingAtheistsHousesPassHomesBookwormsCookBookstoreUniversitiesBookshopMarksEmployCollegesAbodesCook BookTellyCook BooksIdiot BoxPass Mark
Author:Mokokoma Mokhonoana
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“Some women have kissed—and some are kissing—a lot of frogs, even though the very first man that they have each kissed was and is still a prince.”

HumorFunnyRomanceQuotesWomenRelationshipsFictionMarriageFantasyRelationshipHumourKingsKissingJokesHumorousRomanticDatingDivorceKissWomanQueensBreakupSatirePrincessFairy TaleAphorismQuotationsJokeHilariousFairy TalesFrogsAphorismsKingFablesBreakupsQueenPrinceDateAphoristAphoristsMarriagesFantasiesFableFrogPrincessesDivorcesPrincesKisserKiss A FrogKiss A Lot Of FrogsKissers
Author:Mokokoma Mokhonoana
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“Taking good care of your husband or wife is the best way to thank their parent or parents for having taken good care of them.”

LoveChildrenHumorCareFunnyRomanceParentRelationshipsMarriageRelationshipHumourSweetJokesRomanticDatingParentsGentlemanSatireParenthoodChildWeddingAphorismJokeVowAphorismsChivalrySweetheartDateAphoristAphoristsMarriagesLadyWedding VowWeddingsVowsGentlemenWedding VowsTake Care OfChivalrousSweetheartsTake Good CareGood CareTake A Good CareTake Good Care Of
Author:Mokokoma Mokhonoana
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“Most priests wish they were as righteous as they seem to most members of their congregations.”

HumorFunnyQuotesEvilWishChurchMoralAtheismHonestHumourPureJokesHumorousBibleAtheistNobleGoodBelieverImpressionMinistersDecentWickedSatirePriestsEthicalAphorismRighteousVirtuousPreacherImpressQuotationsHonorablePastorJokeBadImmoralHilariousPersonaFoulPaganAphorismsCorruptCrookedCongregationImageObsceneBelieversAngelicShamelessCriminalShadyClergymenDepravedWantonSynagogueAphoristAphoristsPriestPrincipledPromiscuousUnethicalAtheistsChurchesPastorsReverendsBlamelessDishonorableSinfulVicarsChaplainsDishonestPadresPadrePreachersMinisterSleazyLooseGodlessBaseNonbelieverNonbelieversVileUnscrupulousPervertedReverendUprightCurateImpureSynagoguesImamDegenerateClergymanLaw AbidingPerverseChaplainLewdVicarCongregationsClericDebauchedDisreputableParsonsClericsDebasedHigh MindedLicentiousMorally WrongNefariousSaintlyUnconscionableUnprincipledVillainousWrongfulChurchmanChurchmenCuratesDissoluteEcclesiasticEcclesiasticsImamsIniquitousIrreproachableLowdownMan Of The ClothMen Of The ClothMiscreantParsonRectorRectorsReprobateUnchasteUnvirtuousUpstanding
Author:Mokokoma Mokhonoana
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“I like to prowl ordinary places. I feel sorry for us all or glad for us all caught alive together and awkward in that way. there's nothing better than the joke of us the seriousness of us the dullness of us”

PeopleLifeTogetherHumanityAliveSeriousDullJokeSeriousnessDullnessWatchingFeeling SorryPeople Watching
Book:Play the Piano Drunk Like a Percussion Instrument Until the Fingers Begin to Bleed a Bit
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“Whenever He answers prayers, God usually prioritizes those by people who, instead of their mouths, have prayed with their hands and/or feet.”

GodHumorHandsActionFunnyReligionQuotesWishChurchPrayerFateFeetAtheismHumourArmsPrayingWorshipJokesHumorousAtheistLegsBelieverKarmaSatirePrayAphorismQuotationsJokeGodsHilariousActPaganAphorismsPrayersWishful ThinkingDoersCongregationDoBelieversPrioritizeHandPrioritySynagogueReligionsAphoristAphoristsWorshippersAtheistsChurchesDaydreamDoerArmFootNonbelieverNonbelieversPraying WomanLegPrayedSynagoguesCongregationsDaydreamerWorshipersWorshipperPraying WomenWorshiperDaydreamersChurchgoerChurchgoersPraying ManPraying Men
Author:Mokokoma Mokhonoana
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“We human beings regard ourselves as (or compare ourselves to) animals only when it suits us.”

PeopleHumansPersonsHumorFunnyReligionHumanityHuman BeingsAnimalHumourCivilizationCreaturesHumanJokesSpeciesIgnorantCompareHuman RaceSatireCivilizedAnimalsAphorismPrimitiveJokeVulgarConvenienceConvenientAphorismsHomo SapiensWildBarbarismHeathenBarbaricAphoristAphoristsCreatureUncivilizedAnthropocentrismSavageSuitBarbarianExpedienceNeanderthalCivilizeAnthropocentricBarbarousExpedientBrutishCompare ToLikenLiken ToUncultivated
Author:Mokokoma Mokhonoana
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