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Joke Quotes

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Joke Quotes

“You've seen the prince? Like the real prince of the Otherworld?'' ''Yep. Saw him three times.'' (...) ''Once he was in this meadow. Kind of like the meadow in that movie with the sparkly vampires and crazy hair''. (...) The second time was when i was near their palace. It kind of looked like something on the show you watch where everyone dies.'' ''Game of Thrones? I suggested. ''King's Landing?'' He jumped as he nodded. ''And the third time was...well, he was doing something you never do.'' (...) ''What was that?'' (...) ''He was having sex.”

FunnySexTwilightJokeGame Of ThronesCameo
Book:Wicked
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“You know, Mac,”Cadmus said still looking out the window. “We may have to work on the way we tell our story …apparently it’s not amusing enough.” “I’ll try to include a joke between ‘he bled to death’and ‘the city burned’.”Machaon responded tersely.”

WarFunnyGreekStorySarcasmGreek MythologyJokeGodsAmusingDark HumorGreek GodsSarcastic HumorOdysseusTrojansTrojan HorseTrojan WarGreeksGreek Myths
Book:Chasing Odysseus
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“Гуляет по лесу дракон. Встретил медведя. «Медведь, — говорит дракон, — у меня в восемь часов ужин. Приходи — я тебя съем». Идет дальше. Бежит лиса. «Лиса, — говорит дракон, — у меня в семь утра завтрак. Приходи — я тебя съем». Идет дальше. Скачет заяц. «Стой, заяц, — говорит дракон, — у меня в два часа обед. Приходи — я тебя съем». — «У меня вопрос», — поднял заяц лапу. — «Давай». — «Можно не приходить?» — «Можно. Я тебя вычеркиваю из списка». Но мало кто способен задать такой вопрос… Бляааа!”

JokeTotalitarianism
Book:Czasy secondhand. Koniec czerwonego człowieka
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“(Sakaki and Osaka lying on towels at the beach) ... Osaka: You know them Hemmorrhoids... Sakaki: ...Eh? =-O Osaka: Some folks call 'em "Hemorrhoids", but others call 'em "Roids". Why does the one not have an "H" in it? Which one's right? Sakaki: ...... Osaka: Would it be under "H" or "R" in the dictionary? Sakaki: ...I don't know. =/”

LaughingAwkwardJokeAwkward SilenceRotflEhMedical QuestionMedical Term
Book:Azumanga Daioh: The Omnibus
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“Adidas produced a limited-edition pair of Haçienda trainers, designed by Yohji Yamamoto (Saville has worked with Yohji since the late 1980s, creating his catalogues and advertisements). They retailed for £345 but people queued up from midnight just to be first through the doors to buy a pair. The shoes disappeared in twenty minutes - all soled out.”

JokeAdidasPeter HookHaçiendaPeter SavilleYohji Yamamoto
Book:The Haçienda: How Not to Run a Club
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“There was once a man named Joe... Joe was insecure because he had no ears. Joe couldn’t hear a goddamn peep. And so he worked hard and saved up some money until eventually he was able to buy himself a pair of ears. And, for the first time in his life, he was able to hear the music of Beethoven and rejoice in the sound of a child’s laughter. So Joe was no longer insecure about not having ears... although now he’s a little insecure about his speech impediment.”

InsecurityJokeProblems In LifeInsecurity QuotesInsecure Men
Book:The Becomer
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