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Toilets Quotes

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Toilets Quotes

“In a traditional German toilet, the hole into which shit disappears after we flush is right at the front, so that shit is first laid out for us to sniff and inspect for traces of illness. In the typical French toilet, on the contrary, the hole is at the back, i.e. shit is supposed to disappear as quickly as possible. Finally, the American (Anglo-Saxon) toilet presents a synthesis, a mediation between these opposites: the toilet basin is full of water, so that the shit floats in it, visible, but not to be inspected. [...] It is clear that none of these versions can be accounted for in purely utilitarian terms: each involves a certain ideological perception of how the subject should relate to excrement. Hegel was among the first to see in the geographical triad of Germany, France and England an expression of three different existential attitudes: reflective thoroughness (German), revolutionary hastiness (French), utilitarian pragmatism (English). In political terms, this triad can be read as German conservatism, French revolutionary radicalism and English liberalism. [...] The point about toilets is that they enable us not only to discern this triad in the most intimate domain, but also to identify its underlying mechanism in the three different attitudes towards excremental excess: an ambiguous contemplative fascination; a wish to get rid of it as fast as possible; a pragmatic decision to treat it as ordinary and dispose of it in an appropriate way. It is easy for an academic at a round table to claim that we live in a post-ideological universe, but the moment he visits the lavatory after the heated discussion, he is again knee-deep in ideology.”

PhilosophyHumourIdeologyToilets
Book:The Plague of Fantasies
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“One of the main functions of a push-up bra is to lower the number of mothers who seem like mothers.”

BodyHumorMotherQuotesGirlSexParentWomenRolesHumourBirthFemaleFunctionQuoteProfoundSexyMotherhoodImpressionParentsWomanThoughtfulAbortionBirthdayBreastsSatireGirlsThought ProvokingPregnancyDeepInsightfulParenthoodMothersAphorismPregnantAdoptionQuotationsMaximsSayingsToiletsAdagesProverbsUnderwearAphorismsMake You ThinkAxiomsAdageDrawersNewbornProverbSatiricalSayingEpigramsDiapersQuotationGnomeStrippingMaximFemalesSexinessEpigramGnomesProvoke ThoughtMade Me ThinkLingerieAxiomDictumDictumsPantiesRoleForeplayToiletPottyBoobsNappiesAdoptBreastStrippersStretch MarksBraNewbornsUndergarmentsUndiesStripperBody ShameFunctionsPregnancy TestStripAbortThe PillBoobPotty TrainingPregnancy TestsPush UpBreast FeedingG StringNappyUnderclothesDiaperPush Up BraPush Up BrasToilet TrainingUndergarmentBreast FeedG StringsPantyPottiesSilver StripeSilver StripesSkivviesStretch MarkUnderthings
Author:Mokokoma Mokhonoana
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“For breakfast to be called ‘in bed’ instead of ‘on top of a bed,’ the house in which it is about to be eaten has to have at least two rooms (excluding the kitchen); (at least) three, if it has a bathroom.”

RomanceHousePoorRoomsMarriagePovertyMorningFoodRomanticCourtPursueMealsKitchenBreakfastWeddingNutritionBathroomToiletsAnniversaryCourtshipEatRoomMarriagesChaseHousesMealWeddingsRestroomToiletBreakfast In BedBed And BreakfastBreakfastsWooEatenKitchensB BHit OnAteBathroomsHitting OnBreakfastedRestrooms
Author:Mokokoma Mokhonoana
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“Here is an interesting side note about burglary psychology. Many burglary reports, after itemizing a list of stolen possessions, note that the burglar has defecated in the house, sometimes in a corner, on the floor, and sometimes in the bathroom, and sometimes in the shrubbery outside, beneath the broken window. I remember one burglary victim telling me, “He took all the stereo equipment in the den, ransacked the bedroom and then took a shit in the bathroom but didn’t flush. I came home and found a big turd floating in the toilet!” It almost seems to add insult to injury, doesn't It? Actually, there is a physical reason for this. Burglarizing a house causes the burglar to produce stress hormones, like Noradrenaline, corisol and adrenaline. Often an extreme amount of stress hormones can be created while in the act of burglarizing a home. And some people react to stress by taking a shit. Not flushing the toilet, that’s the insult part.”

CrimeStressToiletsHormonesPoopHousesBurglary
Book:Behind the Badge in River City: A Portland Police Memoir
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“I used to think that size does not count, until I realized that most people either find other people’s faeces more disgusting than a bird’s droppings, or they do not find the latter disgusting at all.”

AnimalFoodBirdSizeNutritionDisgustingBathroomToiletsSustenanceShitDisgustToiletFecesSize CountsExcrementFaecesSize Does Not CountSize MattersDroppingsSize Does CountSize Does Not MatterSize Does MatterSize Doesnt CountSize Doesnt Matter
Author:Mokokoma Mokhonoana
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“Campgrounds are never comfortable. They are merely less awful than other options. In normal circumstances, if told that the nearest available toilet was half a mile away, up a dirt path frequented by animals in gastric distress, one would lock the doors and speed to civilization. When a tent or camper is involved, one is jubilant. At least this site had flush toilets!”

TravelToiletsCampingTentCamperCampgrounds
Book:Holidays with Bigfoot
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“Getting fired can produce a particularly bountiful payday for a CEO. Indeed, he can 'earn' more in that single day, while cleaning out his desk, than an American worker earns in a lifetime of cleaning toilets. Forget the old maxim about nothing succeeding like success: Today, in the executive suite, the all-too-prevalent rule is that nothing succeeds like failure.”

TodayForgetProduceSucceedLifetimeWorkersExecutivesDesksCeoCleaningMaximsToiletsCleanlinessAmerican WorkersGetting FiredPayday
Book:Warren Buffett on Business: Principles from the Sage of Omaha
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“Oils of cinnamon and eucalyptus are as powerful against some microorganisms as conventional antibiotics, and are especially effective against flus. Sandalwood oil from Mysore, India, is not only a classic perfume oil but is also a traditional remedy for sore throats and laryngitis. Lavender oil, so often used in toilet waters and scented sachets, has a dramatic healing action on burns.”

ActionUsedWaterPowerfulHealingIndiaOilTraditionalDramaticClassicThroatRemedyConventionalPerfumeToiletsFluLavenderAntibioticsCinnamonMicroorganismsAromatherapySandalwoodMedicinal HerbsSore Throat
Author:Robert Tisserand
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“Individuals interested in donating can call The Bridge. We do still need food, paper products, money, cleaning supplies - if people could call and coordinate donations. People loved donating clothing to The Bridge - it was an avenue; if they could put their focus on collecting cleaning supplies - toilet paper, food etc. - these items are a priority.”

PeopleIfsNeedsStillsIndividualFocusProductsPaperPrioritiesBridgesEtcClothingsCleaningItemsToiletsAvenuesCollectingSuppliesCleanlinessDonationCoordinatesToilet Paper
Author:Maggie Elizabeth Jones
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“Museums just seem to have this borrowed cachet—if I want to seem cultural, I will design something cultural. I resist the idea that culture is only opera houses or theatres. Culture is your entire life around you: toilets, the bus, the kerb or the dump where you drag your waste. Culture has come to mean the arts, but it’s swimming pools as well.”

IfsWantWellsMeanArtIdeasSeemsCultureHouseDesignWasteTheatreMuseumsBusSwimmingPoolOperaDragToiletsBorrowedDumpSwimming PoolOpera House
Author:Thomas Heatherwick
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“Let me tell you, people go on and on about what a great idea electricity was, but I'm going to put toilet paper right next to the wheel and say those are the best ideas anyone's ever had. Scoff at it if you will, but try living for two millennia without it and then we'll talk.”

PeopleIfsTryingTwoIdeasNextGoes OnPaperLet MeWheelsElectricityToiletsGreat IdeaToilet Paper
Book:The Iron Druid Chronicles 6-Book Bundle: Hounded, Hexed, Hammered, Tricked, Trapped, Hunted
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“Zen is to religion what a Japanese "rock garden" is to a garden. Zen knows no god, no afterlife, no good and no evil, as the rock-garden knows no flowers, herbs or shrubs. It has no doctrine or holy writ: its teaching is transmitted mainly in the form of parables as ambiguous as the pebbles in the rock-garden which symbolise now a mountain, now a fleeting tiger. When a disciple asks "What is Zen?", the master's traditional answer is "Three pounds of flax" or "A decaying noodle" or "A toilet stick" or a whack on the pupil's head.”

KnowsFormThreeEvilAsksAnswersTeachingRocksFlowerMastersHolyMountainGardenSticksDoctrineTraditionalPoundsAfterlifeDiscipleTigersFleetingToiletsHerbsPupilsAmbiguousPebblesParablesNoodlesShrubsFlax
Author:Arthur Koestler
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“The film studios learned to our dismay but to their pleasure that if they spent $200 million making a film they could make half a billion on it. So they were not interested anymore in quality films... They can't afford to be that risky at those prices. Consequently you're getting a lot of remakes, sequels, dopey comedies full of toilet jokes...”

IfsFilmPleasureHalfQualityMillionsComedyJokesStudiosBillionsNot InterestedToiletsRemakesSequelsDismay
Author:Woody Allen
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“The [sexual harassment] situation has gotten so out of hand that, in 1993, in one of the first British cases, a plumber was fired for continuing to use the traditional term "ballcock" for the toilet flotation unit, instead of the new politically correct term, sanitized of sexual suggestiveness. This is insane. We are back to the Victorian era, when table legs had to be draped lest they put the thought of ladies' legs into someone's dirty mind.”

MindFirstsUseHandsTermSituationCasesTablesLegsBritishTraditionalInsaneErasDirtyContinuingUnitsToiletsHarassmentPolitically CorrectVictorianPlumberVictorian EraDirty Minds
Author:Camille Paglia
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“Admittedly, I do have several bones... whole war fields full of bones, in fact... to pick with organised religion of whatever stripe. This should be seen as a critique of purely temporal agencies who have, to my mind, erected more obstacles between whatever notion of spirituality and Godhead one subscribes to than they have opened doors. To me, the difference between Godhead and the Church is the difference between Elvis and Colonel Parker... although that conjures images of God dying on the toilet, which is not what I meant at all.”

ShouldMindWarWholeFactsSpiritualityDifferencesChurchDoorsDyingFieldsPicksNotionObstaclesBonesAgencyToiletsCritiqueGod ImageStripesOrganisedColonelsOpened DoorsOrganised Religion
Author:Alan Moore
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“There is no knowing beyond that membrane, the meniscus of death. What can be seen from here is distorted, refracted. All we can know are those untrustworthy glimpses--that and rumour. The prattle. The dead gossip: it is the reverberation of that gossip against the surface tension of death that the better mediums hear. It is like listening to whispered secrets through a toilet door. It is a crude and muffled susurrus.”

KnowsDeathSecretKnowingDoorsListeningSurfaceMediumsTensionGossipGlimpseToiletsCrudeRumoursUntrustworthyMembranesReverberation
Author:China Mieville
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“I confess to a rare problem - gynekinetophobia, or the fear of women falling on me - but this is a rather mild illness compared with many affluent suburbanites, who have developed an almost total zoophobia, or fear of anything that moves. It is, as any traveller can confirm, a complaint best developed in the affluent North American, and it seems to be part of blue toilet dyes, air fresheners, lots of paper tissues, and two showers a day.”

TwoProblemSeemsMovingFallAirPaperBlueIllnessShowersComplaintsToiletsTravellerTissuesPermacultureAffluent
Author:Bill Mollison
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