Humor Quotes
Browse 16077 quotes about Humor.
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Humor Quotes
“You may be a redneck if... your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.”
“If you've ever made change in the offering plate, you might be a redneck.”
“If your working television sits on top of your non-working television, you might be a redneck.”
“If you own a home with wheels on it and several cars without, you just might be a redneck.”
“Being a comedian, people tell me stuff they shouldn't tell their therapist.”
“When you get to your third millionth frequent flyer mile, I think something snaps in your brain.”
“If fifty million people say a foolish thing, it is still a foolish thing.”
“When in doubt, mumble; when in trouble, delegate; when in charge, ponder.”
“He that is good for making excuses is seldom good for anything else.”
“Hide not your talents. They for use were made. What's a sundial in the shade?”
“The Devil made me do it the first time - the second time I done it on my own”
“If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?”
“We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.”
“In all things of nature there is something of the marvelous.”
“Give women the vote, and in five years there will be a crushing tax on bachelors.”
“A perfect method of adding drama to life is to wait until the deadline looms large.”
“A jury consists of twelve persons chosen to decide who has the better lawyer.”
“Men like cars, women like clothes. Women only like cars because they take them to clothes.”
“If it weren't for marriage, men and women would have to fight with total strangers.”
“What is amusing now had to be taken in desperate earnest once.”