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Famous Rita Rudner Quotes
“Men like cars, women like clothes. Women only like cars because they take them to clothes.”
“I had teeth that stuck out so far, I used to eat other kids' candy bars by accident.”
“My new dress. Do you like it? It's from my favorite designer, On Sale.”
“Men would like monogamy better if it sounded less like monotony.”
“If you like easygoing, monogamous men, stay away from billionaires.”
“Most of the men sitting in first class on an airplane have really boring jobs.”
“All men look at Dr. Ruth and wonder how she has gained all that sexual experience.”
“A saleslady holds up an ugly dress and says, 'This looks much better on.' On what? On fire?”
“Human nature is largely something that has to be overcome.”
“I worry about Las Vegas schools. I hear in math, they only teach them to count to 21.”
“The way a man looks at himself in a mirror will tell you if he can ever care about anyone else.”
“I don't look back. I'm like a shark - I only look forward.”
“I jogged for three miles once. It was the worst three hours of my life.”