“After I told my wife that black underwear turned me on, she didn't wash my Y-fronts for a month.”
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Famous Chic Murray Quotes
“If something's neither here nor there, where the hell is it?”
“We were so poor; the ultimate luxury in our house at the time was ashtrays without advertisements.”
“I dreamt I was forced to eat 25lb of marshmallows. When I woke up, my pillow was missing.”
“A Scot is a man who keeps the Sabbath, and everything else he can lay his hands on.”
“I felt as out of place as a left-handed violinist in a crowded string section.”
“A luxury meal was prairie sandwiches - two slices of bread with wide-open spaces between them.”
“We've got stained glass windows in our house; it's those damned pigeons.”
“A neighbour put his budgerigar in the mincing machine and invented shredded tweet.”
“I first met my wife in the tunnel of love. She was digging it at the time.”
“My sister wanted a cat for a pet... I wanted a dog, so they bought a cat and taught it to bark.”
“She's a classy girl though, at least all her tattoos are spelt right.”
“I admit to spending a fortune on women, booze and gambling... the rest I spend foolishly.”
“She had been married so often she bought a drip-dry wedding dress.”