“I'm not really a homosexual. I just help them out when they're busy.”
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Famous Frank Carson Quotes
“I am accusing him of stealing my best material, he was a very funny man.”
“There was an Irish space program to go to the sun. They went at night so they didn't get burnt.”
“An Irishman's wife gave birth to twins. Her husband wanted to know who the other man was.”
“I come from a family of musicians. Even the sewing machine is a Singer.”
“Men only go for skinny women because they're too weak to argue - and salads are cheap.”
“My Irish mate told me, if you file down the edges of a 50 pence piece, you can use it as a 10p.”
“I'm really worried about my girlfriend's morals ... she has NEXT written on her knickers.”
“I bought these shoes in Taiwan, and they said in the inside "made around the corner."”
“I asked a shop owner if he could help me out. He said: "What way did you come in?"”
“Did you know you can have an Irish abortion, but there is a 12 month waiting list?”
“I gave my wife a kiss this morning. She jumped out of bed and did a lap of honour.”
“I don't think my wife likes me very much, when I had a heart attack she wrote for an ambulance.”
“What's the difference between my wife and a terrorist? You can negotiate with a terrorist.”
“Someone threw a petrol bomb at Alex Higgins once and he drank it!”