Home / Quotes / Quote by Frank Carson

Quote by Frank Carson

“I gave my wife a kiss this morning. She jumped out of bed and did a lap of honour.”

Quote by Frank Carson

Author

Frank Carson was an Irish comedian known for his unique sense of humor and witty performances. Born on November 6, 1926, he passed away on February 22, 2012. Carson achieved great success in both Ireland and the UK, and his comedic works were beloved by audiences. more

You May Also Like

“Doctor told me I've got two weeks to live. I said: "Can I have the last week in July and the 1st week in August?"”

Said Two Humor Funny Lasts Week Doctors July Two Weeks August

Author:Frank Carson

“This is Frank Carson, News at Ten, Sober.”

Humor Funny Ten News Frank Sober

Author:Frank Carson

“A man was found dead covered in sprinkles, strawberry sauce and a flake. Reports said he may have topped himself.”

Men May Said Humor Funny Found Reports Covered Sauce Strawberries Flakes Sprinkles Found Dead

Author:Frank Carson

“When I was a kid my parents used to tell me, "Emo, don't go near the cellar door!" One day when they were away, I went up to the cellar door. And I pushed it and walked through and saw strange, wonderful things, things I had never seen before, like... trees. Grass. Flowers. The sun... that was nice... the sun.”

Humor Kids Funny Used Parent Sun Saws Nice Wonderful Doors Tree Strange Flower One Day Grass Wonderful Things Cellars Emo

Author:Emo Philips

“I always wanted a beautiful loving wife and she always wanted to be a citizen.”

Humor Wanted Funny Beautiful Wife Citizens Loving Wife

Author:Emo Philips

“A Mormon told me that they don't drink coffee. I said, "A cup of coffee every day gives you wonderful benefits." He said, "Like what?" I said, "Well, it keeps you from being Mormon ..."”

Giving Wells Said Humor Funny Wonderful Drink Benefits Coffee Cups Coffee Cup

Author:Emo Philips

“When I was a kid my dad would say, "Emo, do you believe in the Lord?" I'd say, "Yes!" He'd say, "Then stand up and shout Hallelujah!" So I would ... and I'd fall out of the roller coaster.”

Believe Humor Kids Funny Fall Lord Dad My Dad Roller Coaster Coasters Hallelujah Emo

Author:Emo Philips

“The good psychic would pick up the phone before it rang. Of course it is possible there was noone on the other line. Once she said "God Bless you" I said, "I didn't sneeze" She looked deep into my eyes and said, "You will, eventually." And damn it if she wasn't right. Two days later I sneezed.”

Ifs Said Two Humor Eye Funny Courses Lines Picks Phones Damn Bless Psychics God Bless Two Days God Bless You

Author:Ellen DeGeneres

“Really, he called me that? Ellen DeGenerate? I've been getting that since fourth grade. I guess I'm happy I could give him work.”

Giving Humor Funny Grades Fourth Degenerates Fourth Grade

Author:Ellen DeGeneres

“I'm a - I'm a, um, a godmother which is just, that's fun to be a godmother, she is so precious, she's the light of my life, she's two... or five or something, and she's, uh... I don't know, I've never seen her - the pictures are precious, she just seems so, y'know... She lives clear across town, I don't have that kind of time, but, um... Well, I send money and stuff, it's not like I don't have a connection...”

Knows Wells Kind Two Humor Light Seems Funny Fun Stuff Clear Five Connections Towns Godmother Light Of My Life

Author:Ellen DeGeneres