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Quote by Frank Carson

“I was in the Far East and I went into a restaurant and I ordered octopus and the waiter said: "It takes four hours." I asked why and he said: "It keeps turning off the gas."”

Quote by Frank Carson

Author

Frank Carson was an Irish comedian known for his unique sense of humor and witty performances. Born on November 6, 1926, he passed away on February 22, 2012. Carson achieved great success in both Ireland and the UK, and his comedic works were beloved by audiences. more

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“I bought these shoes in Taiwan, and they said in the inside "made around the corner."”

Made Said Humor Funny Shoes Corners They Said Around The Corner Taiwan

Author:Frank Carson

“I just want to apologise for being late. I was flying back from Spain and the air hostess said: "We are two hours late Mr Carson." When I asked why, she said: "The pilot has heard a funny noise in the engine that he doesn't like, so we are waiting on another pilot who can't hear it."”

Want Said Two Humor Funny Waiting Hours Heard Air Late Flying Noise Engines Pilots Spain Hostesses

Author:Frank Carson

“An Englishman, Irishman and Scotsman were invited to a Christmas party. The Englishman brought a bag of tinsel, the Scotsman brought a bag of holly and they asked the Irishman: "What have you brought?" He said: "I brought a pair of knickers." They asked: "What has that got to do with Christmas?" He said "They're Carol's."”

Said Humor Funny Party Bags Pairs Invited Englishmen Carols Hollies Irishmen Christmas Party Knickers Tinsel Scotsmen

Author:Frank Carson

“I was going up to the bathroom and a woman asked me: "Have you a good memory for faces?" I asked why and she said: "Because there isn't a mirror up there."”

Said Humor Funny Faces Memories Mirrors Bathroom Good Memories

Author:Frank Carson

“A man up in front of a judge says "I don't recognise this court." "Why not?" "It's been redecorated since the last time I was here."”

Men Humor Funny Lasts Fronts Judging Court Why Not Last Time Recognise

Author:Frank Carson

“I have a pacemaker in, but it doesn't work very well, because every time I fart the garage door opens.”

Wells Humor Funny Doors Garage Fart Pacemakers

Author:Frank Carson

“I asked a shop owner if he could help me out. He said: "What way did you come in?"”

Ifs Way Said Helping Humor Funny Shops Help Me Owners

Author:Frank Carson

“I was in a panto last year, Aladdin and The Wonderful Lamp. I played the wick. I got the sack because I was too well-oiled every night.”

Years Wells Humor Funny Lasts Night Wonderful Every Night Last Year Lamps

Author:Frank Carson

“It's my wife Ruth's birthday soon. I said to her: "What would you like for your birthday?" She said: "I want a divorce." I said: "I wasn't planning on spending that much."”

Want Said Humor Funny Wife Divorce My Wife Spending Planning Ruth

Author:Frank Carson

“A man walked into a shop and asked, "How much are your eggs?" He said "£1.40 a dozen". He then asked: "How much are your cracked ones?" He said: "35p". He said: "Crack us four dozen."”

Men Said Humor Funny Four Shops Eggs Cracks Dozen Cracked

Author:Frank Carson