Best Jokes Quotes | Short & Famous Sayings

“I was so amazingly witty when I had the No. 1 movie, you have no idea. People laughed at every single one of my jokes. Then when I hadn't had a hit for three or four years, some of these same people pretended they didn't see me when I walked in the room.”

Author:Oscar Nunez

“I joke that a person of color would never make a movie like “Midnight in Paris.” Nostalgia isn’t so enticing.”

Persons Color Jokes Nostalgia Paris Midnight Enticing

Author:Meshell Ndegeocello

“A friend of mine jokes that I have a painstaking royalty complex. Like maybe I was a duke in a past life.”

Past Mines Jokes Complexes Royalty Dukes Past Life

Author:Frank Ocean

“Not everybody should be laughing at everything at the same time. That's not even natural. My thing is to feel natural, because I don't want to feel like I could just make people laugh at every single joke, every single time, with the same decibel level.”

People Want Feels Should Natural Levels Laughing Jokes Making People Laugh

Author:Patrice O'Neal

“Gratuitous fat jokes always hurt, no matter what.”

Matter Hurt Jokes No Matter What Fats

Author:Josh Peck

“The currency of blogging is authenticity and trust... you pay folks to blog about a product and you compromise that. I would almost care about this, but it's so obvious to everyone that this is either a joke or an idiot that there is nothing more to say.”

Care Funny Pay Products Jokes Folks Obvious Authenticity Compromise Idiot Thoughtful Currency Blogs Blogging

Author:Jason Calacanis

“I'm not a joke guy; I'm not a stand-up comic.”

Guy Jokes Comic

Author:Eugene Levy

“I like to joke with my wife that she's the CEO of... certainly of our household.”

Wife Jokes My Wife Household Ceo

Author:Scott Pruett

“I tell a lot of fart and poop jokes. I can't help it. I have no filter, and it just comes out.”

I Can Helping Jokes Filters Fart Poop

Author:Tyler Posey

“I only became a celebrity because I had a kid. Before I was pregnant nobody cared. I joke to my agent that having a baby made my career.”

Made Kids Careers Baby Jokes Agents Pregnant Having A Baby Nobody Cares Were Pregnant

Author:Busy Philipps

“I have been sober for the longest time. Oh, it's over a decade now. No joke.”

Has Beens Jokes Decades Sober

Author:Dana Plato

“When I was 14, I thought I was the coolest kid in school because I told everyone the jokes in FHM.”

Children Kids School Jokes

Author:Megan Fox

“Comedy is so subjective. You could be in a room with 400 people laughing at a joke and you could just not think it's funny. You're just sitting there like, 'Am I in the twilight zone? Why is everyone laughing?' It's such a personal thing. People have such a personal visceral response to comedy.”

People Thinking Rooms Laughing Comedy Jokes Sitting Response Zone Twilight Subjective Visceral Personal Things Twilight Zone

Author:Todd Phillips

“If you have doubts about someone, lay on a couple of jokes. If he doesn't find anything funny, your radar should be screaming. Then I would say be patient with people who are negative, because they're really having a hard time.”

People Ifs Should Hard Doubt Couple Jokes Negative Lays Patient Hard Times Be Patient Radar Having A Hard Time

Author:Michael J. Fox

“Hour-long TV is no joke. It tests you as a human being. It makes you a stronger person, but it's really crazy.”

Humans Persons Long Hours Human Beings Crazy Tvs Jokes Tests Stronger Stronger Person

Author:Rebecca Romijn

“I can't crack jokes because I don't have any.”

I Can Jokes Cracks

Author:Rene Redzepi

“Scandinavian-Danish cuisine was something quite rustic, mostly known for pastries and smorgasbord cuisine, which in itself has become a joke.”

Known Jokes Cuisine Pastries Danish Rustic Scandinavians

Author:Rene Redzepi

“I used to watch 'Coming to America' every day after school. I have full-on long-running inside jokes with friends and family about different scenes in that movie alone. Also, my brother and I loved 'The Golden Child,' so, yeah: I was a huge fan of Eddie Murphy growing up.”

“The nature of comedy is 'just do it.' But I think what's interesting about it is this joke has been around and why. And it's just saying what's wrong and how wrong can you be if you say it.”

Ifs Thinking Has Beens Interesting Comedy Jokes Just Do It Just Saying

Author:Bob Saget

“Lacroix has been fantastic. He's very nice. He gets the joke, and I think that's a good thing.”

Thinking Has Beens Nice Jokes Good Things Fantastic Very Nice

Author:Jennifer Saunders

“Growing up, I was watched by my parents and strongly critiqued. Instead of saying they loved me or showing physical attention, they would joke that I had a Roman nose - that it was roamin' all over my face. Teasing was their way of showing love, but then you are young, sometimes you can't tell the difference.”

Way Sometimes Faces Young Parent Differences Attention Growing Up Growing Jokes Noses Tease Showing Love

Author:Neil Strauss

“The whole experience of doing a sitcom is... Telling jokes with such precision is really exciting, but it's also terrifying.”

Whole Jokes Exciting Precision Sitcom

Author:Lea Thompson

“I never used to tell jokes on stage. Now I'm cutting up jokes all night long.”

Long Used Night Cutting Stage Jokes All Night

Author:Robin Thicke

“I just heard the latest joke about my hair: 'Do you know what that is on her head? It's a steering wheel to drive the state.”

Knows States Heard Hair Jokes Wheels Do You Know Steering

Author:Yulia Tymoshenko

“That's something - you laugh about Eminem... It's funny, man, because I didn't like him when he first came out, ya know. It seemed like a big joke. But I think the guy's for real, and I like his lyrics!”

Thinking Knows Men Firsts Real Bigs Guy Laughing Jokes Funny Men

Author:Alan Vega

“You never know when you'll have a bad idea for a worse joke.”

Knows Ideas Jokes Bad Ideas

Author:Benjamin Walker

“Character is character and voice is voice, which translates nicely from writing novels to writing TV. But the process is different. You have a writer's room, people pitch you jokes and you collaborate.”

People Writing Different Character Process Voice Rooms Novel Tvs Jokes Translate

Author:Jennifer Weiner

“And I admit it: there's a rather dirty thrill when 700 people laugh at a joke you've written.”

People Laughing Written Jokes Dirty Thrill

Author:Laura Wade

“The coming-of-age story has sort of become a joke. It's something to capitalize on, and that is painful because when you are coming of age - when you are going through something like that - the genre is so meaningful.”

Stories Age Jokes Painful Meaningful Genre Coming Of Age Genre Is

Author:Mae Whitman

“As reporters in State College, there was a joke. We used to call Penn State, the Kremlin.”

States Used College Jokes Reporters Kremlin Penn State

Author:Rodney Erickson

“I don't have any jokes about my divorce or my ex-husband, who is a lovely person. It really is about how I was an idiot trying to push this guy to get married when I wasn't even sure if I wanted to.”

Ifs Trying Persons Wanted Guy Husband Married Jokes Divorce Lovely Idiot This Guy Exes Ex Husband Lovely Person

Author:Jen Kirkman

“I don't like to joke about dating.”

Jokes Dating

Author:Jen Kirkman

“My joke is a picture of David Bowie on his balcony in the '70s in a suit in Paris, and unless that's you, I'm not interested. There are very few aesthetic types that I have, and people who look like that are not always necessarily good for me.”

People Looks Type Jokes Suits Paris Aesthetic Not Interested Bowie Balconies

Author:Jen Kirkman

“It's much easier to make jokes about not having kids.”

Kids Easier Jokes Having Kids

Author:Jen Kirkman

“The preacher who jests and jokes with his people all week will soon find that he cannot stand in his pulpit on Sunday with power to reprove, rebuke and exhort. He may be the life of the party but it will be the death of the prophet.”

People May Christian Party Week Jokes Christian Inspirational Prophet Sunday Preacher Pulpit Rebuke

Author:Vance Havner

“Everyone has a sense of humor. If you don't laugh at jokes, you probably laugh at opinions”

Ifs Opinion Laughing Stupid Jokes Sense Of Humor

Book:Killosophy

Source: Killosophy

“For 35 years I was a writer. I wrote a lot of jokes. Some of them weren’t funny. Some of them weren’t appropriate. Some of them were downright offensive. I understand that.”

Years Jokes Appropriate Offensive

Author:Al Franken

“I am so happy that I married a comedy writer. He's never not without a joke. No matter where we are.”

Matter Comedy Married Jokes

Author:Christa Miller

“I think one of the funniest things about '30 Rock' is that Liz Lemon is sort of like Buster Keaton - she's always the fool, the joke is always on her.”

Thinking Rocks Fool Jokes Lemons Liz Busters

Author:Cristin Milioti

“To go from Girl, Interrupted, where I had to cry every day, to a TV show like West Wing where I get to laugh and joke around every day, has been a welcome relief.”

Has Beens Shows Girl Laughing Cry Tvs Jokes Wings West Welcome Relief Tv Shows Interrupted Girl Interrupted

Author:Elisabeth Moss

“Yes, I was slightly outside everything when I was growing up. My mother jokes that I was exchanged at birth. She brought us up to have traditional values. She was absolutely not part of the '60s generation.”

Mother Values Growing Up Growing Generations Birth Jokes Traditional Traditional Values

Author:Janet McTeer

“On stage you look much larger than you are. You can have subtle changes of timing; how you place a punchline in a joke or movement or emotion according to an audience.”

Looks Lines Emotion Audience Stage Movement Jokes Subtle Timing

Author:Sylvester McCoy

“The storyboard artists job is to plan out shot for shot the whole show, write all the dialog, and decide the mood, action, jokes, pacing, etc of every scene.”

Writing Whole Shows Action Jobs Artist Plans Scene Jokes Shots Mood Etc Pacing

Author:Craig McCracken

“To me, music is no joke and it's not for sale.”

Music Is Jokes

Author:Ian MacKaye

“Running for me is a sport. It's not a joke. It's serious.”

Running Sports Serious Jokes

Author:J. R. Martinez

“I used to joke that if acting didn't work out, poetry was my commonsense fallback.”

Ifs Used Acting Jokes Work Out

Author:Merritt Wever

“I agree with Sophocles: the greatest luck is not to have been born - but, as the joke goes on, very few people succeed in it.”

People Has Beens Born Goes On Succeed Jokes Agree Luck

Author:Slavoj Žižek

“I always joke with people that having nephews is the best birth control there is.”

People Birth Jokes Birth Control Nephew

Author:Tahj Mowry

“When I was younger, I used humour as a tool to avoid getting too serious with people - if there was deep emotional stuff going on, then I would crack a joke to defuse the situation.”

People Ifs Used Stuff Situation Emotional Humour Serious Jokes Tools Cracks Deep Emotional

Author:Matthew Perry

Jokes Quotes

Related topics

Jokes Quotes