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Quote by Chic Murray

“My wife went to a beauty parlor and got a mudpack; for two days she looked nice, then the mud fell off.”

Quote by Chic Murray

Author

Chic Murray, born John Murray, was an American comedian known for his unique humor style and slapstick performances. He gained fame for his roles in various television shows and films. Murray's comedy career began in the 1940s, and he quickly rose to prominence in the New York comedy scene with his humorous and witty performances. more

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“I went to the butchers to buy a leg of lamb. "Is it Scotch?", I asked. "Why?" the butcher said in reply. "Are you going to talk to it or eat it?". "In that case, have you got any wild duck?". "No", he responded, "but I've got one I could aggravate for you."”

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“So there I was lying in the gutter. A man stopped and asked '"What's the matter? Did you fall over?" So I said "No. I've a bar of toffee in my back pocket and I was just trying to break it."”

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“It was a pretty posh place. They were so used to fur coats that two bears strolled in and ordered lunch and nobody even noticed.”

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“This friend of mine had a terrible upbringing. When his mother lifted him up to feed him, his father rented the pram out. Then, when they came into money later, his mother hired a woman to push the pram - and he's been pushed for money ever since.”

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“My father was from Aberdeen, and a more generous man you couldn't wish to meet. I have a gold watch that belonged to him. He sold it to me on his deathbed. I wrote him a cheque for it, post dated of course.”

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“Welcome back, my cheeky wee monkeys.”

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“I don't like the whole blowing the candles out ritual... blowing their germs all over the cake. If I want to catch something on my birthday. I don't want it to be from the cake. If you know what I'm saying.”

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“I enjoy bathing, as many Europeans don't.”

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