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Quote by Rita Rudner

“Men who can eat anything they want and not gain weight should do it out of sight of the women they're married to.”

Quote by Rita Rudner

Author

Rita Rudner, born on September 17, 1953, is a renowned American comedian. Her career began in the 1980s, and she gained widespread recognition for her unique sense of humor and witty dialogue. Rudner is known for her performances in television, radio, and on stage, with her work often exploring themes such as women, marriage, and family. more

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“Men have better self-images than women. You know what I've never seen in a men's magazine? A makeover.”

Knows Men Self Magazines Makeovers

Author:Rita Rudner

“Women are more accommodating. If a woman drinks the last glass of apple juice in the refrigerator, she'll make more apple juice. If a man drinks the last glass of apple juice, he'll just put back the empty container.”

Ifs Men Lasts Drink Empty Glasses Apples Juice Refrigerators Containers

Author:Rita Rudner

“... life is broken down into these stages: you're born and you don't know how anything works; gradually you find out how everything works; technology evolves and slowly there are a few things you can't work; at the end, you don't know how anything works.”

Knows Ends Life Is Born Technology Know How Stage Broken Evolve Broken Down

Book:I Still Have It . . . I Just Can't Remember Where I Put It: Confessions of a Fiftysomething

Source: I Still Have It . . . I Just Can't Remember Where I Put It: Confessions of a Fiftysomething

“Don't try to teach men how to do anything in public. They can learn in private; in public they have to know.”

Knows Men Trying Humor Funny Teach

Author:Rita Rudner

“Commitment is different in males and females. In females it is a desire to get married and raise a family. In males it means not picking up other women while out with one's girlfriend.”

Mean Different Desire Married Commitment Female Raises Males Girlfriend

Author:Rita Rudner

“Eye contact is a method utilised by a single woman to communicate to a man that she is interested in him. Many women find it difficult to look a man directly in the eyes, not because of shyness, but because a woman's eyes are not located in her chest.”

Men Looks Eye Difficult Method Communicate Contact Chests Shyness Eye Contact Single Women

Author:Rita Rudner

“Individuality in dressing is not important to men. If they all look alike it means they haven't made a mistake.”

Ifs Men Looks Mean Made Important Mistake Havens Individuality Dressings Made A Mistake

Author:Rita Rudner

“My cousin just got married for the totally wrong reasons. She married a man for money. She wasn't real subtle about it. Instead of calling him her fiancé, she kept calling him her financee.”

Men Real Reason Calling Married Subtle Cousin My Cousin Wrong Reasons

Author:Rita Rudner

“I jogged for three miles once. It was the worst three hours of my life.”

Three Hours Worst Miles

Book:Naked Beneath My Clothes: Tales of a Revealing Nature

Source: Naked Beneath My Clothes: Tales of a Revealing Nature

“Natural childbirth scares me. I think before you have natural childbirth you should find out how big the baby is. Three pounds -- natural childbirth. Anything over three pounds -- heroin.”

Thinking Should Bigs Three Natural Baby Pounds Scare Childbirth Heroin Natural Childbirth

Author:Rita Rudner