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Quote by Rita Rudner

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Rita Rudner
Rita Rudner

Rita Rudner, born on September 17, 1953, is a renowned American comedian. Her career began in the 1980s, and she gained widespread recognition for her unique sense of humor and witty dialogue. Rudner is known for her performances in television, radio, and on stage, with her work often exploring themes such as women, marriage, and family. more

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“ABNORMAL, adj. Not conforming to standard. In matters of thought and conduct, to be independent is to be abnormal, to be abnormal is to be detested. Wherefore the lexicographer adviseth a striving toward the straiter [sic] resemblance of the Average Man than he hath to himself. Whoso attaineth thereto shall have peace, the prospect of death and the hope of Hell.”

MenMatterHellStandardsIndependentStriveAverageConformAbnormalResemblanceAverage ManNormal And AbnormalLexicographer
Book:The Devil's Dictionary: The Devil World
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“ACCOMPLICE, n. One associated with another in a crime, having guilty knowledge and complicity, as an attorney who defends a criminal, knowing him guilty. This view of the attorney's position in the matter has not hitherto commanded the assent of attorneys, no one having offered them a fee for assenting.”

MatterViewsKnowingCrimePositionCriminalsGuiltyAttorneyFeesComplicityAccomplices
Book:Delphi Complete Works of Ambrose Bierce (Illustrated)
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“CALLOUS, adj. Gifted with great fortitude to bear the evils afflicting another. When Zeno was told that one of his enemies was no more he was observed to be deeply moved. "What!" said one of his disciples, "you weep at the death of an enemy?" "Ah, 'tis true," replied the great Stoic; "but you should see me smile at the death of a friend.".”

ShouldSaidEvilEnemyBearsMovedGiftedDiscipleAfflictionFortitudeStoicCallousDeath Of A Friend
Book:The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary
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“SCARABAEUS, n. The sacred beetle of the ancient Egyptians, allied to our familiar "tumble-bug." It was supposed to symbolize immortality, the fact that God knew why giving it its peculiar sanctity. Its habit of incubating its eggs in a ball of ordure may also have commended it to the favor of the priesthood, and may some day assure it an equal reverence among ourselves. True, the American beetle is an inferior beetle, but the American priest is an inferior priest.”

GivingMayFactsHabitEqualBallsSacredAncientFavorsFamiliarImmortalityEggsPriestsPeculiarReverenceInferiorsBugsSanctityPriesthoodBeetlesAncient Egyptian
Book:The Devil's Dictionary: Easyread Super Large 18pt Edition
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“HOG, n. A bird remarkable for the catholicity of its appetite and serving to illustrate that of ours. Among the Mahometans and Jews, the hog is not in favor as an article of diet, but is respected for the delicacy and the melody of its voice. It is chiefly as a songster that the fowl is esteemed; the cage of him in full chorus has been known to draw tears from two persons at once. The scientific name of this dicky-bird is _Porcus Rockefelleri_. Mr. Rockefeller did not discover the hog, but it is considered his by right of resemblance.”

PersonsHas BeensTwoNamesVoiceKnownTearsDrawsBirdJewFavorsDietsRemarkableServingMelodyAppetiteArticlesCagesChorusResemblanceDelicacyHogFowl
Book:Delphi Complete Works of Ambrose Bierce (Illustrated)
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“PRIMATE, n. The head of a church, especially a State church supported by involuntary contributions. The Primate of England is the Archbishop of Canterbury, an amiable old gentleman, who occupies Lambeth Palace when living and Westminster Abbey when dead. He is commonly dead.”

StatesChurchEnglandGentlemanContributionPalacesAmiableInvoluntaryPrimatesAbbeyWestminsterCanterburyWestminster Abbey
Book:The Devil's Dictionary: The Devil World
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