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Famous Rita Rudner Quotes
“Thirty, I really like you but I still have to see other people.”
“An amicable divorce is like a ventilated condom; it just doesn't work.”
“The closest I ever came to a menage-a-trois was when I dated a schizophrenic.”
“If it's attention you want, don't get involved with a man during play-off season.”
“Men like phones with lots of buttons. It makes them feel important.”
“Men are brave enough to go to war, but they are not brave enough to get a bikini wax.”
“All men think that they're nice guys. Some of them are not. Contact me for a list of names.”
“When four or more men get together, they talk about sports.”
“Impulse buying is not macho. Men rarely call the Home Shopping Network.”
“Men who tell you they read the Ann Summers catalogue for the articles are lying”
“Wives are people who think it's against the law not to answer the phone when it rings.”
“One of my first office jobs was cleaning the windows on brown envelopes.”