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Quote by Dave Barry

“If it weren't for marriage, men and women would have to fight with total strangers.”

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Dave Barry is a renowned American humorist, born on July 3, 1947. His works are known for their unique humor style and satirical observations of everyday life. more

“To defend Western Europe we have to let the Pentagon buy all these tanks and guns and things, and the Pentagon is unable to buy any object that that costs less than a condominium in Vail. If the Pentagon needs, say, fruit, it will argue that it must have fruit that can withstand the rigors of combat conditions, and it will wind up purchasing the FX-700 Seedless Tactical Grape, which will cost $160,000 per bunch, and will have an 83 percent failure rate.”

Ifs Needs Conditions Objects Wind Cost Percent Gun Europe Fruit Western Rate Arguing Bunch Combat Tanks Grapes Pentagon Rigor Purchasing Tactical Western Europe

Author:Dave Barry

“To enter Europe, you must have a valid passport with a photograph of yourself in which you look like you are being booked on charges of soliciting sheep.”

Looks Like You Europe Photograph Sheep Passports

Book:Dave Barry's Only Travel Guide You'll Ever Need

Source: Dave Barry's Only Travel Guide You'll Ever Need

“I read one psychologist's theory that said, "Never strike a child in your anger." When could I strike him? When he is kissing me on my birthday? When he's recuperating from measles? Do I slap the Bible out of his hand on Sunday?”

Children Said Hands Family Theory Kissing Strikes Sunday Psychologist Slap My Birthday Measles

Author:Erma Bombeck

“People are always asking couples whose marriage has endured at least a quarter of a century for their secret for success. Actually, it is no secret at all. I am a forgiving woman. Long ago, I forgave my husband for not being Paul Newman.”

People Long Humor Funny Secret Century Couple Husband Asking Forgiving My Husband Quarters Long Ago Matrimony Newman Quarter Of A Century

Book:I Lost Everything in the Post-Natal Depression

Source: I Lost Everything in the Post-Natal Depression

“I worry about scientists discovering that lettuce has been fattening all along.”

Has Beens Worry Scientist Discovering Lettuce Fattening

Author:Erma Bombeck

“The very problem of mind and body suggests division; I do not know of anything so disastrously affected by the habit of division as this particular theme. In its discussion are reflected the splitting off from each other of religion, morals and science; the divorce of philosophy from science and of both from the arts of conduct. The evils which we suffer in education, in religion, in the materialism of business and the aloofness of "intellectuals" from life, in the whole separation of knowledge and practice -- all testify to the necessity of seeing mind-body as an integral whole.”

“As long as art is the beauty parlor of civilization, neither art nor civilization is secure.”

Long Art Civilization Art Is Secure Insecurity Parlor Advanced Civilization

Book:The Political Writings

Source: The Political Writings

“When men think and believe in one set of symbols and act in ways which are contrary to their professed and conscious ideas, confusion and insincerity are bound to result.”

Thinking Men Way Believe Ideas Results Conscious Bounds Contrary Confusion Symbols Hypocrisy Insincerity

Book:The Later Works, 1925-1953: 1927-1928

Source: The Later Works, 1925-1953: 1927-1928

“Charity begins at home, but should not end there.”

Should Ends Home Kindness Charity Philanthropy Charitable Fundraising New Home Giving To Charity Charity And Giving Inspirational Charity Philanthropy Giving Charity Begins At Home Charity And Love Fundraising For Charity

Author:Thomas Fuller

“While those whom devotion to abstract discussions has rendered unobservant of the facts are too ready to dogmatize on the basis of a few observations.”

Facts Ready Bases Devotion Observation Discussion Abstract

Author:Aristotle

Quote by Dave Barry

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