Best Satirical Quotes | Short & Famous Sayings

“There is nothing morally wrong with buying stolen goods, unless you know that they were stolen.”

Source: The Use and Misuse of Children

“To ask a man whether or not he has a girlfriend is to talk about his sex life. If you disagree with that, then how in the name of God do you differentiate between a man’s girlfriend and a girl that is a friend to the man?”

Source: The Use and Misuse of Children

“Getting through life without a lot of money, possessions, and/or friends is admirable, especially if it is by choice.”

“A seemingly simple task like taking a bath or wearing a condom feels like multitasking to someone who suffers from hemiplegia or has only one hand.”

“One of the main functions of a push-up bra is to lower the number of mothers who seem like mothers.”

Body Humor Mother Quotes Girl Sex Parent Women Roles Humour Birth Female Function Quote Profound Sexy Motherhood Impression Parents Woman Thoughtful Abortion Birthday Breasts Satire Girls Thought Provoking Pregnancy Deep Insightful Parenthood Mothers Aphorism Pregnant Adoption Quotations Maxims Sayings Toilets Adages Proverbs Underwear Aphorisms Make You Think Axioms Adage Drawers Newborn Proverb Satirical Saying Epigrams Diapers Quotation Gnome Stripping Maxim Females Sexiness Epigram Gnomes Provoke Thought Made Me Think Lingerie Axiom Dictum Dictums Panties Role Foreplay Toilet Potty Boobs Nappies Adopt Breast Strippers Stretch Marks Bra Newborns Undergarments Undies Stripper Body Shame Functions Pregnancy Test Strip Abort The Pill Boob Potty Training Pregnancy Tests Push Up Breast Feeding G String Nappy Underclothes Diaper Push Up Bra Push Up Bras Toilet Training Undergarment Breast Feed G Strings Panty Potties Silver Stripe Silver Stripes Skivvies Stretch Mark Underthings

Author:Mokokoma Mokhonoana

“By drinking, a boy acts like a man. After drinking, many a man acts like a boy.”

“Many of the boys and men who are regarded as immature by some females are so deemed merely because they do not want to get married someday … or soon.”

“Some people avoid thinking deeply in public, only because they are afraid of coming across as suicidal.”

“Millions of business people are each constantly forced to choose between their desire to not be a bad person and their desire to be a good business person, that is to say, to make as much money as they possibly can by maximizing their revenue while minimizing the cost of producing whatever it is that they sell.”

Book:The Use and Misuse of Children

Source: The Use and Misuse of Children

“The kind of lies that someone tells us gives us an idea of how stupid, knowledgeable, intelligent, or ignorant they are … or they think we are.”

“Death devours not only those who have been cooked by old age; it also feasts on those who are half-cooked and even those who are raw.”

Source: The Use and Misuse of Children

“Most sane human beings who have managed to attain and retain fame each uses it to dramatically increase their name’s chances of being remembered until Jesus comes back, since their heart cannot do what they consciously or unconsciously lust for, that is to say, for it to beat until Jesus returns.”

Humans Heart Humor Christian Funny Remember Death Quotes Jesus Chance Human Beings Forget Known Christianity Dying Humour Fame Human Conscious Humorous Bible Jesus Christ Quote Profound Forgotten Memory Philosopher Quote Of The Day Lust Insane Manage Remembered Immortality Insanity Judgement Thoughtful Unconscious Satire Immortal Thought Provoking Mortality Deep Insightful Sanity Aphorism Sane South Africa Quotations Obscure Africa Insignificant Maxims Sayings Heartbeat Adages Attainment Proverbs Obscurity Aphorisms Make You Think Unimportant Unknown Axioms Adage Famous Name Unnoticed Christians Proverb Satirical Saying Epigrams Chances Human Being Nameless African Quotation Gnome Satirist Inconsequential Maxim Infamy Epigram Gnomes Provoke Thought Made Me Think Axiom Dictum Dictums Mortal South African Anonymous Judgement Day Satirists Come Back Forgot Attain Second Coming Last Name Minor Retain Unsung Surname Lowly Unrecognized Lust For Last Judgement Little Known Undistinguished Unheard Of

Book:The Use and Misuse of Children

Source: The Use and Misuse of Children

“Many a survivor of a plane crash who is or was against cannibalism and had never eaten human flesh once found themselves in a situation where they had to either eat human flesh, or go the way of all flesh.”

Source: The Use and Misuse of Children

“Many a death was precipitated by the food, the job, or the medication whose main function was to postpone it.”

“The average adult has had sex innumerable times more than they have formed an opinion of their own.”

Source: The Use and Misuse of Children

“Some women’s greatest achievement is sleeping with a man who is rich, famous, and/or wanted by many women, whereas some women’s greatest achievement is refusing to sleep with such a man.”

“Being rich or famous is the only profound thing that some people have ever said.”

“Among other possibilities, money was invented to make it possible for a foolish man to control wise men; a weak man, strong men; a child, old men; an ignorant man, knowledgeable men; and for a dwarf to control giants.”

Children Wisdom Humor Kids Funny Jobs Young Quotes Strong Work Wealth Freedom Poor Money Education Poverty Knowledge Power Economy Rich Wise Impossible Influence Possibility Humour Masters Fool Authority Humorous Weakness Weak Intelligent Quote Slavery Profound Philosopher Quote Of The Day Riches Foolish Invention Ignorant Educated Employment Giants Thoughtful Control Enlightened Satire Wealthy Thought Provoking Deep Insightful Job Child Mastery Aphorism South Africa Quotations Africa Possibilities Employed Domination Bondage Maxims Sayings Possible Adages Dominion Proverbs Aphorisms Make You Think Old Working Dominance Axioms Servitude Adage Knowledgeable Master Proverb Satirical Saying Dwarfs Epigrams Enslavement African Quotation Fools Gnome Satirist Maxim Well Educated Epigram Gnomes Provoke Thought Made Me Think Scholarly Kid Axiom Dictum Dictums Midget Erudite South African Controlling Giant Invent Satirists Dominate Impossibilities Informed Dwarf Well Read Economies Serfdom Slave Masters Cultivated Cultured Well Informed Monied Ignoramus Invented Thrall Deep Pockets Monies Slave Master Thralldom Vassalage Midgets

Book:The Use and Misuse of Children

Source: The Use and Misuse of Children

“Just like how most if not all poor boys look up to and aspire to someday be rich men, most if not all underdeveloped and developing countries look up to and aspire to someday be developed countries.”

Men Country Humor Funny Quotes Growth Wealth Poor Boys Poverty Economy Rich Environment Progress Humour Industry Civilization Humorous Capitalism Economics Quote Profound Philosopher Quote Of The Day Riches Man Aspiration Thoughtful Global Warming Satire Wealthy Thought Provoking Deep Insightful Role Models Aphorism Pollution South Africa Aspire Quotations Africa Maxims Sayings Economic Growth Adages Proverbs Aphorisms Make You Think Third World Axioms Adage Proverb Satirical Saying Epigrams Gdp African Boy Quotation Gnome Satirist Maxim Epigram Develop Gnomes Provoke Thought Made Me Think Industrialization Axiom Role Model Dictum Dictums Developed Country Countries South African Carbon Emissions Carbon Footprint Gross Domestic Product Satirists Ozone Layer Developed Underdeveloped Countries First World Economies Look Up To Capitalistic Developed Countries Gross National Product Emission Gnp Industrialized Second World Underdeveloped Country Underdeveloped

Book:The Use and Misuse of Children

Source: The Use and Misuse of Children

“When selecting a one-night stand, a heterosexual woman who is materialistic is a trillion times more likely to choose a sexually unattractive poor man who seems rich over a sexually attractive rich man who seems poor.”

Source: The Use and Misuse of Children

“The death of a billionaire is worth more to the media than the lives of a billion poor people.”

“A truly compassionate man gives a poor woman a portion of his meal before he eats, not after he has eaten.”

“Most poor people do not really aspire to end poverty; they merely aspire to escape it.”

“The second most dangerous thing about money is that it leaves most of the people who have a lot of it with the unshakable belief that they are intelligent and well informed. The most dangerous thing about it is that it leaves most of the people who do not have a lot of money with the very same belief.”

“For their never-ending endeavours to obtain or retain wealth, countries desperately need companies, because they—unlike most human beings—have the means of production, and human beings, because they—unlike all companies—have the means of reproduction.”

Children Country Humor Kids Funny Jobs Quotes Sex Community Work Wealth Business Company Economy Humour Birth Humorous Economics Quote Profound Workers Greed Population Profit Philosopher Quote Of The Day Selling Employment Consumers Thoughtful Dependent Satire Wealthy Thought Provoking Pregnancy Deep Endeavor Retirement Insightful Job Child Aphorism Pregnant Commerce South Africa Exploitation Quotations Unemployment Africa Greedy Employed Maxims Sayings Economic Growth Adages Proverbs Aphorisms Make You Think Unemployed Reproduction Endeavour Axioms Adage Sellers Proverb Satirical Saying Epigrams African Quotation Gnome Satirist Maxim Procreation Epigram Gnomes Provoke Thought Made Me Think Kid Axiom Profitability Dictum Dictums Buy Companies Sell Production Worker Countries South African Sexual Intercourse Childfree Depopulation Satirists Means Childless Consumer Exploit Obtain Businesses Retire Endeavors Endeavours Reproduce Employ Selfish Selfishness Buyer Retain Means Of Production Procreate Birthrate Birthrates Death Rate Death Rates Dependents Population Pyramid Means Of Reproduction

Book:The Use and Misuse of Children

Source: The Use and Misuse of Children

“Although they probably know that some children were used and some children are used as miners, most adults are ignorant of the chocolate industry’s use of minors.”

Source: The Use and Misuse of Children

“More often than not, an inspirational or motivational speaker is someone who makes money from telling us that we can do all of the things that we can do … and pretty much all of the things that we cannot do.”

“As an unavoidable result of the inevitable loss of some physical and/or some mental abilities, many a man who has been alive for many years has become a boy again.”

Source: The Use and Misuse of Children

“Not everyone who talks less or keeps quiet whenever they are with or around you does that because they find you interesting or knowledgeable; some people do that because they find you boring or ignorant.”

“As we all know, as if forever exploiting or attempting to exploit each other were not enough, a group of sane human beings who have just reached the end of a war against a common enemy of theirs will sooner or later start or continue killing and/or fighting against each other.”

Source: The Use and Misuse of Children

“Most human beings strongly believe that money is way less important than the life of a human being, but in reality five hundred, fifty, or even five dollars are way more important to the lives of most human beings than the lives of most human beings.”

“Most human beings would have never been pained by the death of a human being if they had never seen a human being or pretending to be pained by that.”

“Unless they are off duty, no matter how wide it is, and even when it is sincere, a smile seems fake if the job description of the person who is smiling includes smiling.”

“...they say if you don't vote, you get the government you deserve, and if you do, you never get the results you expected.”

Source: Brushstrokes of a Gadfly

“We, in the interest of the so-called progress, have been persuaded to leave the production and at times the cooking of our food to companies whose owners and employees make a living by exploiting our busyness or laziness and our innate hunger to continue living.”

Source: The Use and Misuse of Children

“Some people would have killed themselves and/or someone else if they were single; and some people would not have done that.”

“Loneliness tortures many if not most of the elderly more intensely and more frequently than it torments many if not most of us who will never be or have not yet been pushed or pulled into old age.”

Source: The Use and Misuse of Children

“Being bored is the price we pay for not being insane.”

“Most men would no longer enjoy conversing with most women if they stopped bringing their vaginas along.”

“Most people do kiss and tell; most of them just don’t tell many people.”

“A poet can imagine an iceberg singing a melancholic song while the world leaders find it difficult to imagine proper solution to global warming.”

“The birthing wolf, Her heart fed with tenderness, Gave forth from ripe brown nipples, Food to feed the universe.”

Birth Poem Satire Wolf Satirical Roman Hope And Despair Roman Payne Payne

Author:Roman Payne

“With regard to things such as independence, mental capabilities, and sexuality, a very old man is nothing but a gigantic infant with white hair and wrinkles.”

“Most of us cling to life as if our existence were a result of our deed or choice.”

“Many millions of pregnancies—many if not most of which have each led to the birth of at least one child—were each used as nothing but a conspicuous means to a secret end called the evasion of abortion.”

Source: The Use and Misuse of Children

“More often than not, expecting to lose weight without first losing the diet that made the weight loss necessary is like expecting a pig to be spotless after hosing it down while it was still rolling in mud.”

Author:Mokokoma Mokhonoana

“Famine sometimes increases the number of people who are overweight.”

“If the food that one ate the night before were somehow able to be seen and identified through one’s clothes throughout the day, millions of employees would each fast ten or so days before their payday.”

“For a sane person to sincerely be happy that someone has succeeded, they have to either be profiting or likely to profit from that person’s success, or be that person.”

“We envy people who are extremely old because we wish to live that long, not because we want to be that old.”

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Satirical Quotes