Quotessence
Home / Topics / Gnome Quotes

Gnome Quotes

Browse 132 quotes about Gnome.

Gnome Quotes

“There is nothing morally wrong with buying stolen goods, unless you know that they were stolen.”

“To ask a man whether or not he has a girlfriend is to talk about his sex life. If you disagree with that, then how in the name of God do you differentiate between a man’s girlfriend and a girl that is a friend to the man?”

“A seemingly simple task like taking a bath or wearing a condom feels like multitasking to someone who suffers from hemiplegia or has only one hand.”

“One of the main functions of a push-up bra is to lower the number of mothers who seem like mothers.”

“Many of the boys and men who are regarded as immature by some females are so deemed merely because they do not want to get married someday … or soon.”

“Some people avoid thinking deeply in public, only because they are afraid of coming across as suicidal.”

“Millions of business people are each constantly forced to choose between their desire to not be a bad person and their desire to be a good business person, that is to say, to make as much money as they possibly can by maximizing their revenue while minimizing the cost of producing whatever it is that they sell.”

“The kind of lies that someone tells us gives us an idea of how stupid, knowledgeable, intelligent, or ignorant they are … or they think we are.”

“Death devours not only those who have been cooked by old age; it also feasts on those who are half-cooked and even those who are raw.”

“Most sane human beings who have managed to attain and retain fame each uses it to dramatically increase their name’s chances of being remembered until Jesus comes back, since their heart cannot do what they consciously or unconsciously lust for, that is to say, for it to beat until Jesus returns.”

“Many a survivor of a plane crash who is or was against cannibalism and had never eaten human flesh once found themselves in a situation where they had to either eat human flesh, or go the way of all flesh.”

“Many a death was precipitated by the food, the job, or the medication whose main function was to postpone it.”

“The average adult has had sex innumerable times more than they have formed an opinion of their own.”

“Some women’s greatest achievement is sleeping with a man who is rich, famous, and/or wanted by many women, whereas some women’s greatest achievement is refusing to sleep with such a man.”

“Being rich or famous is the only profound thing that some people have ever said.”

“Among other possibilities, money was invented to make it possible for a foolish man to control wise men; a weak man, strong men; a child, old men; an ignorant man, knowledgeable men; and for a dwarf to control giants.”

“Just like how most if not all poor boys look up to and aspire to someday be rich men, most if not all underdeveloped and developing countries look up to and aspire to someday be developed countries.”

“When selecting a one-night stand, a heterosexual woman who is materialistic is a trillion times more likely to choose a sexually unattractive poor man who seems rich over a sexually attractive rich man who seems poor.”

“The death of a billionaire is worth more to the media than the lives of a billion poor people.”

“A truly compassionate man gives a poor woman a portion of his meal before he eats, not after he has eaten.”

“Most poor people do not really aspire to end poverty; they merely aspire to escape it.”

“For their never-ending endeavours to obtain or retain wealth, countries desperately need companies, because they—unlike most human beings—have the means of production, and human beings, because they—unlike all companies—have the means of reproduction.”

“Although they probably know that some children were used and some children are used as miners, most adults are ignorant of the chocolate industry’s use of minors.”

“More often than not, an inspirational or motivational speaker is someone who makes money from telling us that we can do all of the things that we can do … and pretty much all of the things that we cannot do.”

“As an unavoidable result of the inevitable loss of some physical and/or some mental abilities, many a man who has been alive for many years has become a boy again.”

“Not everyone who talks less or keeps quiet whenever they are with or around you does that because they find you interesting or knowledgeable; some people do that because they find you boring or ignorant.”

“As we all know, as if forever exploiting or attempting to exploit each other were not enough, a group of sane human beings who have just reached the end of a war against a common enemy of theirs will sooner or later start or continue killing and/or fighting against each other.”

“Most human beings strongly believe that money is way less important than the life of a human being, but in reality five hundred, fifty, or even five dollars are way more important to the lives of most human beings than the lives of most human beings.”

“Most human beings would have never been pained by the death of a human being if they had never seen a human being or pretending to be pained by that.”

“If a path ain’t got no heart, you must not follow it, not for any reason—but if it does got heart, then you’d best oblige yourself. On account of doin’ good ain’t got no end. Like a pebble thrown in a pond, one kind act ripples outward in all directions. It affects others—for the betterment. How far the ripple may travel—no one can rightly say.”

“Unless they are off duty, no matter how wide it is, and even when it is sincere, a smile seems fake if the job description of the person who is smiling includes smiling.”

“If your spirit is persistently harmless or if it has shown itself to you, in a non-threatening way, then you most definitely have a ghost. The ghost can be frightening, by its very nature. But the ghost will never intentionally frighten you. They will be there for three reasons: 1. They used to live there and are attached to the location 2. They are trying to communicate something to the living or 3. They are protective of somebody who lives in the house and so they are “standing guard” so to speak, over the loved one.”

“We, in the interest of the so-called progress, have been persuaded to leave the production and at times the cooking of our food to companies whose owners and employees make a living by exploiting our busyness or laziness and our innate hunger to continue living.”

“Some people would have killed themselves and/or someone else if they were single; and some people would not have done that.”

“Loneliness tortures many if not most of the elderly more intensely and more frequently than it torments many if not most of us who will never be or have not yet been pushed or pulled into old age.”

“Being bored is the price we pay for not being insane.”

“Most men would no longer enjoy conversing with most women if they stopped bringing their vaginas along.”

“With regard to things such as independence, mental capabilities, and sexuality, a very old man is nothing but a gigantic infant with white hair and wrinkles.”

“Most of us cling to life as if our existence were a result of our deed or choice.”

“Many millions of pregnancies—many if not most of which have each led to the birth of at least one child—were each used as nothing but a conspicuous means to a secret end called the evasion of abortion.”

“More often than not, expecting to lose weight without first losing the diet that made the weight loss necessary is like expecting a pig to be spotless after hosing it down while it was still rolling in mud.”

“Famine sometimes increases the number of people who are overweight.”

“If the food that one ate the night before were somehow able to be seen and identified through one’s clothes throughout the day, millions of employees would each fast ten or so days before their payday.”

“For a sane person to sincerely be happy that someone has succeeded, they have to either be profiting or likely to profit from that person’s success, or be that person.”

“A relationship is likely to last way longer, if each partner convinces or has convinced themselves that they do not deserve their partner, even if that is not true.”

“Some of us were brought into this troubled world primarily or only to increase our fathers’ chances of not being left by our mothers, or vice versa.”

“A premature death does not only rob one of the countless instances where one would have experienced pleasure, it also saves one from the innumerable instances where one would have experienced pain.”