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Quote by Thomm Quackenbush

“Campgrounds are never comfortable. They are merely less awful than other options. In normal circumstances, if told that the nearest available toilet was half a mile away, up a dirt path frequented by animals in gastric distress, one would lock the doors and speed to civilization. When a tent or camper is involved, one is jubilant. At least this site had flush toilets!”

Quote by Thomm Quackenbush

Book:Holidays with Bigfoot
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Holidays with Bigfoot

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Thomm Quackenbush

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“...he asked, "Where are you today, right now?" Eagerly, I started talking about myself. However, I noticed that I was still being sidetracked from getting answers to my questions. Still, I told him about my distant and recent past and about my inexplicable depressions. He listened patiently and intently, as if he had all the time in the world, until I finished several hours later. "Very well," he said. "But you still have not answered my question about where you are." "Yes I did, remember? I told you how I got to where I am today: by hard work." "Where are you?" "What do you mean, where am I?" "Where Are you?" he repeated softly. "I'm here." "Where is here?" "In this office, in this gas station!" I was getting impatient with this game. "Where is this gas station?" "In Berkeley?" "Where is Berkeley?" "In California?" "Where is California?" "In the United States?" "On a landmass, one of the continents in the Western Hemisphere. Socrates, I..." "Where are the continents? I sighed. "On the earth. Are we done yet?" "Where is the earth?" "In the solar system, third planet from the sun. The sun is a small star in the Milky Way galaxy, all right?" "Where is the Milky Way?" "Oh, brother, " I sighed impatiently, rolling my eyes. "In the universe." I sat back and crossed my arms with finality. "And where," Socrates smiled, "is the universe?" "The universe is well, there are theories about how it's shaped..." "That's not what I asked. Where is it?" "I don't know - how can I answer that?" "That is the point. You cannot answer it, and you never will. There is no knowing about it. You are ignorant of where the universe is, and thus, where you are. In fact, you have no knowledge of where anything is or of What anything is or how is came to be. Life is a mystery. "My ignorance is based on this understanding. Your understanding is based on ignorance. This is why I am a humorous fool, and you are a serious jackass.”

LifePhilosophyUniverseMysteryListening
Book:Way of the Peaceful Warrior: A Book That Changes Lives
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“They're installing a boiler system," Pandora said, flipping through a book. "It's a set of two large copper cylinders filled with water pipes that are heated by gas burners. One never has to wait for the hot water- it comes at once through expansion pipes attached to the top of the boiler." "Pandora," Kathleen asked suspiciously, "how do you know all that?" "The master plumber explained it to me." "Dear," Helen said gently, "it's not seemly for you to converse with a man when you haven't been introduced. Especially a laborer in our home." "But Helen, he's old. He looks like Father Christmas." "Age has nothing to do with it," Kathleen said crisply. "Pandora, you promised to abide by the rules." "I do," Pandora protested, looking chagrined. "I follow all the rules that I can remember." "How is it that you remember the details of a plumbing system but not basic etiquette?" "Because plumbing is more interesting.”

SystemPlumbingPandora Ravenel
Book:Cold-Hearted Rake
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“Imagine hiring a plumber who shows up, looks at your fucked plumbing, then announces, 'I shall return thousands, millions or billions of years from now and then I will fix all the plumbing and everything will be perfect. Trust me. Honest, Guv.' What would you do? Put up with your fucked plumbing and pray every day to the Plumber Messiah who never comes and never fixes any plumbing, or hire a different plumber who actually does his fucking job and fixes your broken plumbing? The idea of a Messiah who shows up and is so clueless and inept that he can’t think of anything better than committing 'suicide by Romans' is like the darkest comedy sketch ever. Jesus Christ is not a plumber who fixes the plumbing. This is a plumber who shows up and wrecks the plumbing, then promises to come back, but never does.”

ReligionChristianityPlumbingWaiting For GodotSecond ComingGhostingNo Show
Author:David Sinclair
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