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Joke Quotes

Browse 560 quotes about Joke.

Joke Quotes

“Lucien,' my captor said quietly, the name echoing with a hint of a snarl. 'Behave.' Lucien went rigid, but he hopped off the edge of the table and bowed deeply to me. 'My apologies, lady.' Another joke at my expense. 'I'm Lucien. Courtier and emissary.' He gestured to me with a flourish. 'Your eyes are like stars, and your hair like burnished gold.”

Sarah J MaasSarcasmFeyreFeyre ArcheronJokeA Court Of Thorns And RosesTamlinLucienComplimentsCaptor
Book:A Court of Thorns and Roses
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“The Light that lights every person who comes into the world is not a joking matter. That Light which God has set within the human breast, which can isolate a soul and hang it between heaven and hell, as lonely as if God had created but that one person—that is not a joking matter. Joke about politics if you must joke. Politics is usually funny any-way. But do not joke about God, and do not joke about conscience.”

FunnyPoliticsConscienceJokeJoking
Book:Faith Beyond Reason
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“A one-liner is the highest form of poetry. It must be tight, concise, and precise, with exactly the right words in exactly the right places. And maybe the best reply is also the shortest: Quack. When a duck says quack, does it mean something specific, or does it mean nothing? That ambiguity makes it hilarious.”

TalkingCommunicationJokesDucksJokeAmbiguityDuckTalkOne Liner
Book:Music is fluid, and my saxophone overflows when my ducks slosh in the sounds I make in elevators.
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“I know mouth-to-mouth.” Ayden whacked Blake on the shoulder. “Thanks, but I’d rather you throw water on me.” “Don’t know what you’re missing, babe.” “With any luck.” “Give her the knife.” We all looked at Matthias who, when no one moved, snatched the knife from Blake, flipped it in his hand and offered it to me, handle first. “Take it. You’ll feel better.”

UnderstandingJokeKnife
Book:Demons at Deadnight
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“Never mind. Sorry. Everything can wait. Let’s stay on topic. You feel I’ve neglected you. Physically in general. Kissing specifically. Fair enough. Challenge accepted.” “Challenge? I didn’t issue any challenge.” Did I? “Let’s do this.” “Do what?” “I’m going to kiss you.” “Whoa!” My hands flew into the air and I moved to escape. “This is stupid.” He blocked my path. “Hold on. Not stupid at all. You have a valid point, just give me a minute.” He rolled his shoulders, shook out his arms, rocked on the balls of his feet a few times, took a deep breath, and exhaled slowly. “Okay. I’m ready.” I frowned. “You have to gear-up to kiss me?”

FunnyKissJokeBoyfriend
Book:Drop Dead Demons
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“I am at your mercy.” Matthias cracked one of his whips. “Get up and get in the house.” “As you wish.” Rose wrinkled his nose, picked a banana peel off his lap, and stood in the last faint beams of sunset. “Whoa!” “Is he wearing a leather cat suit?” “Holy Mother!" “Dude!” The guys all quickly averted their eyes and raised their hands to further block any chance of catching a view. Anything to not see Rose in his painted-on leather one-piece that left absolutely nothing to the imagination. Their reactions were pure entertainment. “Stunning, right?” Rose spread his palms as far as the cuffs would allow. “Oh, I’m stunned.” Ayden looked ill. Rose looked down at himself with admiration. “Not many males can pull off this look.” “No male can pull off that look.” “Actually, his finely sculptured physique would be considered the perfect complement for this type of anatomically revealing attire which accentuates his—” “Bloody hell, Jayden, shut it!” “Dude, this is so not right.” “I feel like it’s looking at me.” “Feel like what’s looking at—? Oh. Oh! Ugh, now I feel like it’s looking at me too.” “How can it be looking at both of us?” “Are you serious?” “I’m gonna be sick.” “Someone please gouge out my eyes.” “He might as well be naked.” “Already did that,” Rose said dryly and gave me a suggestive wink. “Ask Aurora.” “What!” Now the crowd had eyes on me. I frantically shook my head. “No, no, no. It’s not what you think. He was in the water with most,” my hands circled over my abdomen, “stuff covered.” “Most?” Ayden almost shrieked. The orange-red flames on his arms flashed blue-white.”

SubtleAwkwardJokeHex BoysSexual InnuendosCat Suit
Book:Drop Dead Demons
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“But I must say,” Jayden smiled wistfully, “when I was a child, I had a giant stuffed whale which I slept with every night. Very soft and squishy, and Aurora, instituting the connection of our bodies last night, which I believe constitutes the term snuggling, provided the same comforting sensation as slumbering with the whale. Most enjoyable. I forgot how much I missed it.” "Giant whale.” Luna snorted a laugh. “He just called you fat.” “But snuggly,” I said. “Jayden, what are you doing here?”

JokeLolFatBruhStuff You
Book:Demons in Disguise
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“Cristiano’s grades are excellent. Your parents and I discussed getting you a tutor. Perhaps Cristiano would be just the man.” Armani gave a slight nod. “I would be most honored to do so.” Tutor me in death, maybe. “But we won’t even have the same classes! Wouldn’t another senior be better for him?” “Cristiano has your same classes. He’s a junior.” I gaped. “In what world is Armani here seventeen?” Cristiano shrugged unapologetically. “They feed us better in Italy.”

JokeLolArmaniItaliansUh Oh
Book:Demons in Disguise
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