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Quote by Jarod Kintz

“If someone makes you dig your own grave at gunpoint, that’s the perfect time to tell your edgiest duck joke. Because what’s the other guy going to do, kill you? Then he’d have to shovel.”

Book:Music is fluid, and my saxophone overflows when my ducks slosh in the sounds I make in elevators.

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Music is fluid, and my saxophone overflows when my ducks slosh in the sounds I make in elevators.

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Jarod Kintz

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“A one-liner is the highest form of poetry. It must be tight, concise, and precise, with exactly the right words in exactly the right places. And maybe the best reply is also the shortest: Quack. When a duck says quack, does it mean something specific, or does it mean nothing? That ambiguity makes it hilarious.”

Talking Communication Jokes Ducks Joke Ambiguity Duck Talk One Liner

Book:Music is fluid, and my saxophone overflows when my ducks slosh in the sounds I make in elevators.

Source: Music is fluid, and my saxophone overflows when my ducks slosh in the sounds I make in elevators.

“Wes slid two more cigarettes out of the pack, offering one to me. “I don’t smoke.” “Why not? It gives you superpowers, you know.” “What? Like cancer?” I said”

Cancer Smoking Joke Dark Humour Superpowers

Book:Absent

Source: Absent

“Sometimes what’s funny is that someone is actually not joking.”

Humor Funny Comedy Humour Serious Joke Seriousness Joking Playful Kidding

Author:Mokokoma Mokhonoana

“You hit me!” I yelled at the sky, and it was almost humorous to hear Rome’s deep voice so full of feminine outrage. “Oh.” Yael sounded genuinely shocked. “It really is her. Rome just dropped like a bag of rocks.”

Insult Joke Lol Haha Bruh

Book:Seduction

Source: Seduction

“Why are pretty girls always so stupid?” he grunted. “Hey! I don’t know whether to be offended or complimented by that,” I joked. “See? Stupid.”

Stupid Compliment Joke Insulting Lol Pretty Girls

Book:Caged Wolf

Source: Caged Wolf

“He gave it one last tightening tug and uttered a firm, “Stay.” “Woof,” I replied.”

Funny Crazy Dog Joke Weird Wtf

Book:Demons at Deadnight

Source: Demons at Deadnight

“Blake pointed an accusing finger. “I know you melted the wires in my engine. Think you’re so smart. But you’re not the only one with mechanical ability.” "You called Logan, didn’t you.” “Of course I called Logan. He’s my mechanical ability. But that’s not the point.”

Joke Accusation Banter Mechanics Triangle

Book:Demons at Deadnight

Source: Demons at Deadnight

“Heard straight from Napoleon’s mouth himself,” I say. “Champagne! In victory we deserve it, and in defeat we need it.”

Romance Politics Fiction Drama Historical Suspenseful Napoleon Gilded Age French History Romance Literary Fiction

Book:Champagne Widows: First Woman of Champagne, Veuve Clicquot

Source: Champagne Widows: First Woman of Champagne, Veuve Clicquot

“I know mouth-to-mouth.” Ayden whacked Blake on the shoulder. “Thanks, but I’d rather you throw water on me.” “Don’t know what you’re missing, babe.” “With any luck.” “Give her the knife.” We all looked at Matthias who, when no one moved, snatched the knife from Blake, flipped it in his hand and offered it to me, handle first. “Take it. You’ll feel better.”

Understanding Joke Knife

Book:Demons at Deadnight

Source: Demons at Deadnight

“You can’t leave like this. Stay positive. That’s Persuasion one-oh-one.” “Avoid Matthias,” I said. “That’s Survival one-oh-one.”

Survival Joke Banter

Book:Demons at Deadnight

Source: Demons at Deadnight

Quote by Jarod Kintz

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