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Puns Quotes

Browse 62 quotes about Puns.

Puns Quotes

“There are always messages, even enigmas to be searched, mysteries to be solved in all of my books. I like to puzzle readers, but I do not make so to the point of being so complex that they will lose interest in the plot. And that for me is the essence of every great literature around the world, and that’s been so for ages. (....)Some were inpired by real life characters, some other books I wrote are hybrid fiction/non-fiction, so I pretty much get inspired by people who have lived, and even who are still breathing among us… so don’t get discouraged if I didn’t mention your personality traits yet. I might even have your name over my books, I must some day…”

PeopleLifeWritingRealityInspirationFunnyImaginationJokesAccountsTalesOddTraitsCreative ProcessHabitsCreative WritingShort StoriesCharactersHybridChroniclesPeople RelationsWriting TipsTipsMystery NovelsReal CharacterPunsReal Life DramaMysteries Of LifeFictional CharactersOddityMixReal PeopleEnigmasOne Hundred One
Book:One Hundred One World Accounts in One Hundred One Word Count
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“If you are having private thoughts and ask an intimate friend to listen to them in privacy or on a date will that be considered too intimi-dating? And if the thoughts are proved to be untrue, but your friend still insists on believing in them anyway, would that be considered a cons-piracy?”

ThinkingStoriesFriendshipSecretConversationThoughtsJokesAccountsDatingMysteriousAgreementSecretsConspiracySecrecyJoiningIntimidatingPartnerUntrueTelling StoriesConfidentConvertingSecretivePiracyMeetingMysteriesTellPunsUrban LifePrivateWhispersAllyIntimidatePlay On WordsIntimate ConversationPrivate EyePrivate ThoughtsConfiningPrivatelyTales Of The CityTrue AccountsActing TogethherDeceivesLies MischiefSecrecies
Book:One Hundred One World Accounts in One Hundred One Word Count
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“It is still cheating, even if nobody comes.”

HumorFunnyLanguageSexSecretHumourJokesHumorousAffairCaughtSatireAphorismUncertainCheatInfidelityVagueObscureJokeHilariousAdulteryAmbiguityAphorismsAmourDoubtfulAmbiguousFlingUnfaithfulPunOrgasmDubiousCarrying OnAphoristAphoristsCheaterUnclearDisloyaltyComeAmbivalentCheatersPunsPlaying AroundSexual IntercourseFooling AroundUnfaithfulnessComingOrgasmsFalsenessCatchPlay On WordsStraySpermLiaisonCuckoldryCameSemenExtramaritalExtramarital SexSpermsTwo TimingWalk OnDebatableFool AroundHanky PankyTwo TimeAbstruseArguableBe UnfaithfulCommit AdulteryEquivocalPlay AroundA Bit On The SideA Play On WordsCatch Read HandedCaught Red HandedImpreciseOpen To ArgumentOpen To DebateRed HandedSpermatozoaSpermatozoonWalked On
Author:Mokokoma Mokhonoana
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“People ask me where I got my x-ray powers. I inherited them from my parents in parental supervision. Erase the dots and your doubts if you think that I was 'raysed' alone.”

ChildhoodHumorousRaisedParanormalAutobiographySupernaturalChildhood MemoriesPunWordplayTelepathySupervisionThird EyePunsPlay On WordsAutobiographicalX RayEnlightmentSuper PowersFigurativeHomographicHomophonicRethoricalX Ray Vision
Book:The Tao of Physical and Spiritual
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“He leaned forward and plucked something out of my hair. 'What—?' He held the dead leaf before me. 'Must have gotten that rolling around with Alexi in the backyard.' I blinked and looked at him. 'That sounded so wrong.' He nodded, eyebrow quirked. Waiting. 'I’m trying to learn a few things from your more experienced brother so I’m ready for our big event.' His expression didn’t change. 'Yee-ahhh. Not any better, huh?' I laughed. Our big event could mean two vastly different things to Pietr. 'Lemme just run through the other ways I could get this wrong: Alexi’s teaching me some moves. He’s trying to put the hurt on me. He was putting me into some positions I’ve never tried before...I snorted. I couldn’t help myself. A muscle near Pietr’s left eye twitched. 'He’s teaching me to fight!' I laughed, grabbing his wrists.”

PunsAwkward Moments
Book:Bargains and Betrayals
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“A dessert to a deserter in the desert burst, "You trust your thirst. And you are too hot! You scream for ice cream. And believe it or not, I may not be your first. But I might be your lust! Give it a shot...”

PeopleBookStoriesHumorFunnyLiteratureFunLinesEventsWordsTalesStorytellingComicDesertOddPoemsEntertainingIce CreamThirstyFastSurvival StoryPunsMirageFlash FictionTrue StoriesPoeticalDesert SurvivalExcentricTrue AccountsWord CountOne Hundred One
Book:One Hundred One World Accounts in One Hundred One Word Count
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“IN DIRE STRAITS, WE HEAD STRAIGHT TO THE OCEAN The good Lord answered Beryl’s prayer when Dorjan came home next. On the cusp of the rainy season, when porch sitting Beryl was more inclined to watch tufts of moisture hung from invisible threads in fairytale skies than her playing children, he announced, “I have a will ‘ta move ‘ta the land of Hollywood and ‘burgeoning coastal developments,” like he’d read that phrase in a magazine. Then, he pressed on the horn in case she hadn’t heard his hollering. “I want a piece o’ that action, baby,” he said. “I can run my own company. ‘Reckon I know to do just about anything related to construction. Heya baby, why not?” He grinned as he rolled out of the driver’s seat. As she came down the steps to him, he smacked his thighs in a rhythm and did a fancy two-step. “The sun’s always shining. There’s bound to be work for me till I have no more need.” She went to hug him. “Lickety split, we’ll be going west… at the childr’n’s school break,” he said. That’s just what the Hudsons did. They left their free-of-charge huge, white house to the older brothers and sisters, taking brother Dennis along in the back seat with three of the children. Coalbert, sitting up front, sighed. “We’re just gonna leave the house like that? For someone other’n us to occupy, Daddy?” His heart was lying in that big white house with the wraparound porch. “Small thing. The place is tainted. It ‘taint yours and it ‘taint mine.” “I hope we get an indoor toilet, Mama!” Laila shouted. “Your daddy’s set on getting all the new things where we’re going to.”

PunchlinePunsLynn Byk QuotesDouble EntendresSouthern Colloquialisms
Author:Lynn Byk
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“Jasper set an intercepting course towards that Rhylonian Star Duster. Maybe we can catch them on their blind side.” “Doesn’t this ship have a cloak?” Jaq asks. “Miss Synergy, I don’t know what they teach now a’days at the Academy, but ships do not wear clothes.”

ComedyJokesScience FictionWomanFairyWitchSheepCastlesSpace TravelHorsesCargoPunsSpaceshipLaughsEye RollingCadetSpace WesternCasey NoriderJaq SynergyKlaus NomiMunchkinsCloaking Device
Author:Nathan Reese Maher
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“She points to where he went and looks to the neutral Baumen. “He—he did that to me on purpose! He’s insane. Literally, insane!” The munchkin just shrugs. “Welcome aboard!” and returns unconcerned to his work.”

ComedyJokesWomanFairyWitchSheepCastlesSpace TravelHorsesCargoPunsSpaceshipLaughsEye RollingCadetSpace WesternCasey NoriderJaq SynergyKlaus NomiMunchkins
Book:Rubberband Lazer - Or, The Adventures of Casey Norider and Jaq Synergy
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“...you mustn’t pun, Brumm, puns are produced only in vacant minds. Keep high thoughts and visions of delightful things before you and you won’t pun.”

PunsPunning
Book:A Full and True Account of the Wonderful Mission of Earl Lavender, which Lasted One Night and One Day; with a History of the Pursuit of Earl Lavender and Lord Brumm by Mrs. Scamler and Maud Emblem
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“It is the observer of the pun that makes it, my dear Brumm. Of course, when the word is distorted, as in Evilution, the most preoccupied notice it, but in this instance which you try to fasten upon me the crime is yours. There is nothing more contrary to the Evolutionary will than puns. Bloodshed and desolation follow in their wake. Their English heyday, which was in the reign of James I, caused the great civil war; in France they flourished most rankly under Louis XV, and produced the French Revolution. I have considered puns, and apart altogether from their hateful effect, as shown in history, it is certain that they are quite unevolutionary, because I, the fittest of men, am unable to make them. You will consult your own welfare, and that of the nation, Brougham, by refraining in future.”

PunsPunning
Book:A Full and True Account of the Wonderful Mission of Earl Lavender, which Lasted One Night and One Day; with a History of the Pursuit of Earl Lavender and Lord Brumm by Mrs. Scamler and Maud Emblem
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“Zane let his head loll back and lifted one hand to gently prod his split lip. "Ow." "Whine about it. It'll make it better," Ty offered as he stood in front of his locker, his back to Zane, and unwrapped the tape from his hands with jerky, irritated movements. "Bite me," Zane muttered as he dug into his locker for a towel before starting in on the tape on his own hands. He spared an evil glance for Ty. "Teaching me to advance in a fight is a bad idea." "Teaching you to fight at all is an exercise in futility," Ty responded in a matter-of-fact tone. "Luckily for you, I enjoy things like banging my head against a wall." "I enjoy banging your head against a wall too," Zane replied as he tossed the balled-up tape at a nearby trash can. He let a small smile quirk his lips as he sat on the bench to unlace his shoes. "Shut up," Ty grunted at him. But even though his back was still turned to him, Zane could hear the smile in his voice. "And cut it out with the damn cat jokes, huh? They're starting to catch on." "Fine, fine. No reason to get catty about it," Zane told his partner with a barely concealed grin. "A for effort," Ty conceded charitably.”

WhiningTy GradyPunsZane GarrettWhineGarrettSmirkingAbigail RouxCut RunGrady
Book:Fish & Chips
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