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Humourous Situations Quotes

Browse 36 quotes about Humourous Situations.

Humourous Situations Quotes

“Through the years, you’ve released parts of you. Some went into the sewer, others you left at your friends’ houses, some on the sidewalk while riding your bike as a kid. Your body is used to being taken apart by pieces and put back together. Swapping parts is hardwired into human existence. It takes on a much larger role in death.”

FunYoung AdultEntertainingZombiesMagical RealismOriginalComicalHumourous Situations
Book:The Zombie Wizards of Ala-ka
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“Just as you drop body parts, those parts reassemble, and have done so continuously over the history of the earth. People decompose, become dirt, dirt becomes vegetables and fruit, animals and people eat the food that grows from the dirt that was once a body. It is all one big recycling program the earth does.”

FunYoung AdultEntertainingZombiesMagical RealismOriginalComicalHumourous Situations
Book:The Zombie Wizards of Ala-ka
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“Throughout history, parents have tried to name their offspring in a manner that would foretell the trajectory of their future. It’s one of the first spells humans encounter in this life. Little did your parents know what would happen today, for you, because of your name, but they blessed this day for you.”

FunYoung AdultEntertainingZombiesMagical RealismOriginalComicalHumourous Situations
Book:The Zombie Wizards of Ala-ka
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“So this funny incident happened a week ago. I was in a Departmental Store and I couldn't find what I was looking for and so went to the shop assistants who were two girls. Me: Is Moustache and Beard Wax available at this store? The two girls looked at me with surprise and asked: To remove your moustache and beard?”

Funny QuotesBeardFunny But TrueLaughter Is The Best MedicineMoustacheLaughter QuotesHumourous SituationsMoustache And Beard Wax
Author:Avijeet Das
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“Clenching my fists, his subsequent snore emphasises my suspicions. He has been sleeping on the job. I put my hands on my hips and glide over to him. I have one intent in mind. Picking up the book next to his elbow, I slam it down on the table. There are definitely some perks to being able to manipulate objects. Adam’s reaction is priceless. “W…w….what? W…where? W…why?” He stammers, blinking frantically. One hand flies to his heart, which he clutches dramatically and he raises his other to his forehead, wiping his brow. When he realises who has disturbed him and what I have done, he scowls at me. “Why did you do that?” He snaps, rubbing his eyes. He yawns at the end, meaning that I definitely can’t take him seriously. “I was enjoying that dream.” At hearing his answer, I roll my eyes. Part of me is tempted to interrogate him, to find what he was dreaming about exactly. The other rational and sensible part wins, meaning that I thrust the book in his direction, winding him considerably. He throws me a sharp glare, which ends in a grimace. The book juts sharply into his ribs. “You should be reading NOT sleeping!” I retort, making sure that the book digs harder into his chest. I give it one last push. “So get going.”

FunnyReadingBooksParanormal RomanceSassy HeroineYalitHumourous Situations
Book:Damned
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“I suddenly remembered that Murray Gell-Mann and I were supposed to give talks at that conference on the present situation of high-energy physics. My talk was set for the plenary session, so I asked the guide, "Sir, where would the talks for the plenary session of the conference be?" "Back in that room that we just came through." "Oh!" I said in delight. "Then I'm gonna give a speech in that room!" The guide looked down at my dirty pants and my sloppy shirt. I realized how dumb that remark must have sounded to him, but it was genuine surprise and delight on my part. We went along a little bit farther, and the guide said, "This is a lounge for the various delegates, where they often hold informal discussions." They were some small, square windows in the doors to the lounge that you could look through, so people looked in. There were a few men sitting there talking. I looked through the windows and saw Igor Tamm, a physicist from Russia that I know. "Oh!" I said. "I know that guy!" and I started through the door. The guide screamed, "No, no! Don't go in there!" By this time he was sure he had a maniac on his hands, but he couldn't chase me because he wasn't allowed to go through the door himself!”

InsanityJudgementalBlack HumorHumor InspirationalHumourous SituationsRichard FeynmanPersonal Privacy
Author:Richard Feynman
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“I was scared and nearly choking when I bravely asked, ‘Are you a pros-ti-tute?’ I actually said it like that. I knew I was asking a question that might get me beaten up, and I had to force the three syllables to stumble off my tongue and bounce around innocently on the stainless-steel draining board while I waited for her reply.”

FrightenedTeenageProstituteHumourous SituationsSocial WorkersSocial ServicesUnderage
Book:Alice in Worcestershire
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