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Adult Humor Quotes

Browse 22 quotes about Adult Humor.

Adult Humor Quotes

“As a parent and grandparent, it’s my belief that parents are always responsible for just about everything, including breakdowns in communication with their children and finding innovative ways to build bridges over troubled waters. When there’s just lots of troubled water and no bridges in sight, my take is that the parent must put their hand up and take responsibility. It’s called being an adult!”

ResponsibilityMaturityAdulthoodAdultResponsibilitiesAdult HumorAdulthood Quotes
Author:Roger Macdonald Andrew
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“I went to the doctor," said the woman next to Ethel. "I said to him, 'I've got an itchy twat.'" [...] She went on: "The doctor says to me, he goes, 'You shouldn't say that, it's a rude word.'" [...] "I says to him, 'What should I say, then, doctor?' He says to me, 'Say you've got an itchy finger.'" [...] "He says to me, 'Do your finger itch you all the time, Mrs. Perkins, or just now and again?'" Mildred paused, and the women were silent, waiting for the punch line. "I says, 'No, doctor, only when I piss through it.”

HumorAdult Humor
Book:Fall of Giants
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“I was momentarily stunned by his odd announcement and told him as much. "Let’s just talk about the fact that you composed a sonnet to my vagina, shall we? You are sending off some major stalker vibes, which is odd because you’re gay. You are gay, right?" He narrowed his eyes at me and waved his hand in the direction of his 'muse' as he stated, "I don't want any part of that thing. I just want to honor it for being the only known thing in existence to be touched by the dick of a god.”

FunnyRomanceQuoteHumor QuotesAdult Humor
Book:Control
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“Nenneke felt the wound, washed it and began to curse. He already knew this routine by heart. She had started on the very first day, and had never failed to moan when she saw the marks left by the princess of Wyzim's talons. 'It's terrible! To let yourself be slashed like this by an ordinary striga. Muscles, tendons -- she only just missed your carotid artery! Great Melitele! Geralt, what's happening to you? How did she get so close to you? What did you want with her? To mount her?' He didn't answer, and smiled faintly.”

HumorAdult Humor
Book:The Last Wish
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“For a split second, I wondered if he were some type of sexy sorcerer, who was able to remove my clothing by the force of his will alone. I squeezed my eyes shut and focused on the buttons of his shirt, willing them to pop off. It didn’t work. Then again, it was pretty hard to focus while he was touching me, so maybe under different circumstances, I too could be a sexy sorcerer. Watch out world.”

Funny QuotesRomantic ComedyWitty QuotesAdult Humor
Book:Control
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