Quotessence
Home / Topics / Humourous Quotes

Humourous Quotes

Browse 92 quotes about Humourous.

Related topics

FoolFoolishnessFunnyHumor

Humourous Quotes

“Don’t be dry as dust, lustreless, boring or desperate always & for God’s sake don’t always look sullen, full of wrath or aggrieved. It will never get you what you want. Remember – whatever you cannot get with a smile, you can’t get it with a frown. So, smile. Your smile looks beautiful on you, you should wear it daily. Darling listen - I know being funny is not your number 1 goal. But believe me being witty & making people smile can make all the difference in your life. I know, telling same thing again & again is so humiliating. But when you see someone laughing, smiling & having fun, don’t you want a piece of that? Being amusing, witty, pleasant & social can improve your popularity & make you appear more attractive to world & Universe. Don’t you know the benefits of looking good & attractive? It is obvious that everyone wants to be where the fun is & if you are at it’s centre of it then obviously it will benefit you more than anyone. I seriously think of the people who are going to benefit from this reminder or repetition & how this simple practice of smiling will make a remarkable difference in their life.”

LifeSmileAttractiveQuotes To Live BySuccess Self ImprovementHumourousRajesh GoyalDifference In LifeFrowns
Author:Rajesh Goyal
Create image

“One girl raved about a nice voicemail a guy had recently left her. I kindly requested she play it and heard this gem: 'Hey, Lydia. It's Sam. Just calling to say what's up. Gimme a ring when you get a chance.' THAT WAS IT. I pleaded to know what was so great about this. She sweetly recalled that 'he remembered my name, he said hi, and he told me to call him back.' Never mind the fact that what she described was the content of LITERALLY EVERY VOICE MAIL IN HISTORY. Name, hello, please call back. Not really a boatload of charm on display. To fail this test, a guy would have to leave a message that said: 'No greeting. This is man. I don't remember you. End communication.”

LoveHumorFunnyRomanceResearchDatingResearch And DevelopmentHumourousVoicemail
Author:Aziz Ansari
Create image

“She nodded, grabbed her purse out of the drawer and skedaddled, walking like she was on a catwalk, one foot in front of the other, her ass swaying under the skirt of her expensive, tailored suit. Bitch. I thought again, watching her go. “No comparison,” Luke said after the door closed behind Dawn and I turned to him. “Excuse me?” “Dawn’s a man eater. You’re not. No comparison,” Luke answered and I didn’t know how to take that. “Is that good?” The half-smile came back. “Most men prefer to do the eating.” Holy fucking cow.”

RomanceAlpha MaleHumourous
Book:Rock Chick Redemption
Create image

“I wore you on me at all times Like I now carry my pen. Unlike your own opinion my Belongings must have a function. You bled through the ink of my lines and To be my subject nursed your thirst. Was it my fault, or your own, that you forgot —I do not deal in tender verse.”

LoveFeminismIndependenceSeparationPoetry QuotesHumourousTragedy Of LifeWhere Pain ThrivesBittersweet EndingsDanish PoetryFierce FemalePoetess All Incl
Book:Where Pain Thrives
Create image

“Ah college years, those were the days. Pure freedom ... leaving home for the first time…the parties…” "What about the tutorials, the lectures, the large building with all the books called the ‘library’?” “Is that what those were?” Gerry blithely replied.”

HumorFunnyPartyStudentsCollegeHumourBooksLibraryUniversityLibrariesHumourousStudyingLeaving HomePartyingUniversity Of LifeCollegesStudent Days
Book:Brushstrokes of a Gadfly
Create image

“I'm happy being a bloke, I think, but sometimes I'm not happy being a bloke in the late-twentieth century. Sometimes I'd rather be my dad. He never had to worry about delivering the goods, because he never knew that there were any goods to deliver; he never had to worry about how he ranked in my mother's all-time hot one hundred, because he was first and last on the list. Wouldn't it be great if you could talk about this sort of thing with your father? One day, maybe, I'll try. "Dad, did you ever have to worry about the female orgasm in either it's clitoral or its (possibly mythical) vaginal form? Do you, in fact, know what the female organism is? What about the G-spot? What did 'good in bed' mean in the 1955, if it meant anything at all? When was oral sex imported to Britain? Do you envy me my sex life, or does it all look like terribly hard work to you?”

SexHumourous
Book:High Fidelity
Create image

“Jimmy held on to the reins for dear life, and thought that a horse was about the most slippery creature to sit on that he had ever met. He slithered first one way and then another, and at last he slid off altogether and landed with a bump on the ground. Sticky Stanley and Lotta held on to one another and laughed till the tears ran down their faces. They thought it was the funniest sight in the world to see poor Jimmy slipping about on the solemn, cantering horse.”

LaughingReinsHorsesSlipperyFallingHumourousHorseback Riding
Book:Mr Galliano's Circus
Create image