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Funny But True Quotes

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Funny But True Quotes

“Men know that most women want to have an emotional connection with someone before they sleep with them. Men know that a lot of women think it's romantic to be friends first, and then the friendship blossoms into a relationship. Men know that they have to jump through all these hoops first, before they can get laid. And that's really all romance and courtship is to a man: hoops he has to jump through to get laid.”

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Book:Why Men And Women Can't Be Friends
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“I treat my thoughts like an old person treats their valuables: I cannot for the life of me proceed to throwing them out.”

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Book:Healology
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“Be careful not to appear obsessively intellectual. When intelligence fills up, it overflows a parody.”

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Book:Healology
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“Ten short years ago, nobody had ever heard of a selfie. But today every decent cell phone has not one but two cameras, so you can take idiotic duck face pictures. And don't forget the billion dollar selfie-stick industry. Capitalism has found a whole new way to turn our vanity into profit.”

Wise WordsSocial MediaVainNarcissismFunny But TrueSelfiesSelfie QuotesVanity Quotes
Book:The Ugly Truth About Self-Publishing: Not another cookie-cutter contemporary romance
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“Angels are good not simply because they see bad as bad, but also because they see bad as corny.”

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Book:Healology
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“So, am I too, like all other humans, just a rogue? Sure! Just a notch less than those rascals wearing godly robes.”

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Author:Fakeer Ishavardas
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“Don't, but if at all, then, lie to the whole damn world - never to your own damn, silly stupid self.”

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Author:Fakeer Ishavardas
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“No one is ever 'ready' to go on the adventure of a lifetime," Acatar replies sagely. "The only things you need to prepare for are the emotions you're bound to face. During this journey, you'll be scared out of your robe, tired as a worn-out horse, and angry as a charging rhinoceros. But if you can prepare for those, you can face any problem head-on." There's a slight pause, and then she adds, "Whoa. Did I just say that?”

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Book:Sabre Black
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“Just like you silly bums, I have a personal sky god. I bow to him, as you do to your airy-fairy sod. He prefers I call him Mr. NOT.”

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Author:Fakeer Ishavardas
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“True devotion and humility is when you carelessly allow yourself to fall in love with things you consider will make you look inferior, which in essence, makes you superior.”

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Author:Michael Bassey Johnson
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“Everything we men do, everything we men have done for the past 100,000 years, is all about attracting a mate. When a guy tries to impress a girl with his fancy car, or his expensive suit, or his gold watch, or his flashy shirt at the club, or he flexes his biceps, or brags about how much money he makes, he's doing the same thing that animals have done for millions of years. Like a peacock, he's trying to make himself desirable and to attract a mate.”

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Book:Why Men And Women Can't Be Friends: Honest Relationship Advice for Women
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“You might think your pussy is the wrong color or the wrong shape or the wrong size, but when a man looks at it, all he sees is heaven. Trust me, he's not worried about whether your lips are symmetrical. He's just counting his lucky stars to see you naked. It's very difficult for a man to understand why a woman would be so self-conscious about her hooha.”

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Book:Why Creeps Don't Know They're Creeps - What Game of Thrones can teach us about relationships and Hollywood scandals
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“When guys try to get a good job and make a lot of money, it's so that they can find a good mate, because they know women like guys with money. Big tits are to men, what big wallets are to women. A sexy woman can have almost any man she wants. And a rich guy can have almost any woman he wants.”

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Book:Why Men And Women Can't Be Friends
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