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The Ugly Truth About Self-Publishing: Not another cookie-cutter contemporary romance

Book by Oliver Markus Malloy · 39 quotes · Writers On Writing, Authors On Writing, Quotes About Writing

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The Ugly Truth About Self-Publishing: Not another cookie-cutter contemporary romance Quotes

“Ten short years ago, nobody had ever heard of a selfie. But today every decent cell phone has not one but two cameras, so you can take idiotic duck face pictures. And don't forget the billion dollar selfie-stick industry. Capitalism has found a whole new way to turn our vanity into profit.”

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“Everyone thinks they're entitled to their 15 minutes of fame. And it's that narcissism that makes people, who have no business writing a book, think they can write a book.”

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“if you've ever been to an old-timey museum, you've seen those silly portrait paintings that vain noblemen of by-gone eras used to plaster all over the walls of their pompous mansions. Today, thanks to social media, people can take pointless pictures and pollute the world with their dumb shit faster than ever before. Progress!”

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“People who have absolutely nothing interesting or unique to say think writing a book will make them interesting. They think when they tell people "I'm a writer" it sounds cooler than if they say "I clean houses for a living.”

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“Scroll through a list of books online, and you will find page after page after page of book covers with shirtless guys and titles that scream BILLIONAIRE ROMANCE! or ALPHA-MALE PARANORMAL WEREWOLF ROMANCE! or something equally ridiculous. All these shitty books look like clones of each other. There's not an original thought in sight.”

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“They say you shouldn't judge a book by its cover. But if there's a shirtless guy on your cover, or your title includes the words billionaire, alpha-male, werewolf or werebear, your "book" is probably a pile of unimaginative, derivative drivel devoid of a single original thought. Yet another poorly written romance clone the world didn't need.”

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“Even if there were no more books published ever, there are still more books in existence today than anyone can read. And most of them suck. Good luck trying to find a good one. It's like finding a needle in a hay stack.”

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“Books used to be written by humanity's greatest thinkers, or at least our greatest entertainers. Now every halfwit can publish his verbal diarrhea. And millions of shitty, mediocre, uninspired, trite books are drowning out mankind's greatest literary accomplishments.”

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“Pro tip: If you can't think of anything more interesting to post on social media than a picture of your cup of coffee, you are boring and you have nothing interesting to say.”

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“Conformists are boring. Artists are interesting. That's the difference between a wannabe writer and a real writer.”

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“You have to make people care about your book. They have to love it or hate it. If they don't care about your book, you have failed as a writer.”

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“Self-publishing is not nearly as easy as people think it is. Sure, you can upload some crappy manuscript online and slap some run-of-the-mill cover on it. But that doesn't mean anyone wants to read it.”

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“The large companies that offer self-publishing services don't care whether you buy a copy of Dracula, a copy of Frankenstein, and a copy of Fifty Shades of Grey – or if you buy three "proof copies" of your own book. They still sold you three books. And they know that wannabe writers are so proud of their own crappy book, they'll buy a whole bunch of copies to give to their friends and family. Wannabe writers are their best customers.”

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“Basically the self-publishing industry's business model is based on selling you your own book. You're giving them money so that you can feel like a writer.”

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“Some people feel that cheap immigrant labor is bringing down wages, which makes it impossible for Americans to earn a living. A lot of real writers feel the same way about the influx of millions of wannabe writers into their profession.”

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“In the past, ten authors made a million bucks each. Now a million authors make ten bucks each. Is that better? No. That's not helping anyone. Your vanity is making it harder for real writers to feed their families.”

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“Most self-published books are kinda like dreams. Your dream was interesting to you, but when you tell others what you dreamed last night, their eyes glaze over, because your nightly hallucinations really aren't all that interesting to anyone else.”

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“Chances are, even your friends and family aren't really interested in reading your self-published book. Your mom might read it to do you a favor, but if it wasn't written by her precious little angel, she probably couldn't care less about it.”

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“Readers can only read so many books in a month. And unless you give them a really good reason to read your book, they'll prefer to read some other, more famous book. You're competing for the reader's attention. And if you don't even know that, you've already lost.”

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“When you self-publish a book, not only are you competing with millions of other books, you're also at a disadvantage because your book is self-published, and a lot of readers are unwilling to even try your book, because they've had so many bad experiences.”

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“Before you take anyone's advice, check the sales rank of their own books. If their Amazon sales rank is somewhere around 700,000 or worse, they're barely selling one book per month, if even that. Why would you follow their advice? They have no idea what they're talking about. They're rookies pretending to be experts. It's almost like they're role playing. They're make-believe writers, the way kids are make-believe astronauts or pirates.”

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“Its pretty annoying to real writers, when some unqualified, talent-free hack calls himself a writer, because it devalues the word. Millions of shitty self-published wannabe writers are giving real indie writers with real talent a bad name.”

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“If everyone is suddenly a writer, then no one is. It feels like cultural appropriation. You're stealing their identity. You're appropriating the one thing that is sacred to real writers. You're not a writer. You like to write. There's a difference. To you it's just a hobby, and yet you decorate yourself with stolen feathers. You give yourself a title you haven't earned and don't deserve. Just like you can't wake up one day and pretend now you're a proctologist.”

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“Have you traveled the globe? Have you been places, done things and experienced the world? Have you lived a colorful, unique life? If not, you have nothing of value to contribute to humanity. Everything you write is not based on real world experience but recycled second hand information.”

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“You can't be a writer if you haven't done shit and experienced nothing interesting. They say write what you know. If you know nothing about life, you can't be a good writer. Good writing is based on who you are as a person. Every good book is a part of who you are. Every good writer reveals his true self in his books. If there is nothing interesting to reveal, go be an accountant or something. You have no business being a writer.”

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“The difference between some random toddler scribbling some crappy drawing and Leonardo da Vinci is that Leonardo has talent. Someone with no talent is not the same as someone with talent.”

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“If someone with talent creates something, it's art. When someone with no talent creates something, it's crap.”

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“If you want to be a good writer, you need to be a talented artist. And artists are unique and stand out. Artists are the opposite of conformists.”

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“If you want to be a good writer, you need to be a talented artist. And artists are unique and stand out. Artists are the opposite of conformists. So by doing what everyone else is doing, you're proving your mediocrity, and your lack of artistic uniqueness. When you follow everyone else's example, you are by definition not an artist. You're a copy cat.”

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“Not every self-published indie author is bad. There actually are some very good ones. But they're the exception, not the rule.”

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“Shakespeare was one in a million. That makes you pretty unique, if there's only one million people. But when there's a hundred million people, then being one in a million means there are 100 people just as talented as you. In a country of 300 million people, there are 300 people like you. And in a world of seven billion people, you're competing with 7000 other people who are every bit as good as you. I wonder if Shakespeare would have gotten famous if he lived today, and had to compete with 7000 other Shakespeares.”

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“People have always been vain. Can you imagine what it was like when some guy invented the first mirror? Maidens probably spent all day and night just staring at their own reflection in the dim candle light of their drafty castle tower, back when the first mirrors were cutting edge technology.”

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“Don't worry about offending people. Any time you write something thought provoking, some idiots will complain, because they hate it when you make them think.”

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