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Funny Humor Quotes

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Funny Humor Quotes

“As far as you know, and that is not near enough, this is the only life given to you. So, do not screw it up. Do your bit, without harming others. That's godly enough. Just do not dump your shit, especially the religious kind, on others. Thank you.”

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Author:Fakeer Ishavardas
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“People who do not love dogs, know! When you've bitten dust and lying in your grave, a dog will come by and either crap or piss on you. Of course dogs may do the same on my grave too! But in doing so they'll be embracing me, but oh! they will surely be defecating on you.”

Life LessonsLife And LivingGood And EvilFunny HumorLaughter Is The Best MedicineWellness Evaluation Of LifestyleHumourous QuotesAnimals And HumansDogs HumourPets Go To Heaven
Author:Fakeer Ishavardas
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“Just like you silly bums, I have a personal sky god. I bow to him, as you do to your airy-fairy sod. He prefers I call him Mr. NOT.”

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Author:Fakeer Ishavardas
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“Welcome to Hell!” His voice boomed, the deep bass tone making the ground beneath their feet rumble and shake. Luc knew they could feel it in their bones. “You all know why you’re here, so we won’t waste a lot of time explaining. You’ve been very, very naughty in your lives, and now you get to spend the rest of eternity here. With me.” He watched them take in his words, horror painted on their faces, screams echoing around the room as they shuffled farther away from him, the ones at the front clearly wishing they could just sink into the ground and disappear. “No need to be shy. I’m not gonna hurt you,” Luc cooed. He gave them a few precious moments to relax a tiny bit before grinning. “I have people for that.” He turned to Zorun to see if he liked the joke but got nothing but an eye roll from his second-in-command. Rude. “Okay, we need to be fast and organized.” Luc dropped the act, waving the clipboard and his colorful sticky notes in the air. “You’ll be divided by sin and sent with your group leader to the appropriate level. Your pain tolerance assessment starts in half an hour. You’ll be tested for various forms of torture, and then the most suitable one will be chosen for you. If you disagree with your torture method, you can fill out a form and appeal within two weeks. You will be reassessed if need be.”

HellDevilFunny HumorFunny Moment
Book:Hellfire & Bowties
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“What was that?” I croaked. Akhol sidestepped into my view and towered over us. “It was a Demon.” “But you said—” “I know what I said,” Akhol cut in sharply, rubbing his eyes. “There was something wrong with it. Like the Demon had adapted to the darkness and water.” I shivered. “Did he have a ring that he called ‘my precious’?” I joked to try and lighten the mood. I didn’t get a good look at the Demon, but my mind had no problems picturing Gollum. They stared at me blankly.”

JokeFunny HumorTimeless Series
Book:Abyss
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“Yo Mama's so fat her butt cheeks have different area codes.”

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Book:155 World's Funniest Yo Mama Dirty Jokes: Yo Mama Funny, Dirty, Filthy Joke Book For Adults - Uncensored edition
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“Superman once challenged Chuck Norris to a fight, the loser had to wear his underwear on the outside.”

HumorFunnyHumourJokesHumorousJokeFunny QuotesHumorous QuotesFunny HumorFunny And RandomFunny Book QuotesSupermanFunny JokesFunny JokeFunniest JokesWorld S Funniest JokesWorlds Funniest JokesChuck NorrisChuck Norris FactsChuck Norris Jokes
Book:155 World's Funniest Chuck Norris Jokes And Facts: The Best And Funniest Kick-ass Facts About Roughest, Toughest, Deadliest, Sexiest & The Most Fearless ... The Legend
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“Yo Mama’s so poor, when I lit her house on fire, the cockroaches came out singing, “Clap your hands, stomp your feet, praise the Lord, we got some heat!”

HumorFunnyHumourJokesHumorousJokeFunny QuotesHumorous QuotesFunny HumorFunny And RandomFunny Book QuotesFunny JokesFunny JokeFunniest JokesWorld S Funniest JokesWorlds Funniest JokesYo Mama JokesYo Momma JokesYo MamaYour Mama JokesYour Momma
Book:155 World's Funniest YO MAMA Jokes
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“Yo Mama sucks so much d***, her lips went double platinum.”

HumorFunnyHumourJokesHumorousJokeFunny QuotesHumorous QuotesFunny HumorFunny And RandomFunny Book QuotesFunny JokesFunny JokeFunniest JokesWorld S Funniest JokesWorlds Funniest JokesYo Mama JokesYo Momma JokesYo MamaYour Mama JokesYour MommaYo Mama Adult JokesYo Mama Dirty JokesYo Mama Jokes For Adults
Book:155 World's Funniest Yo Mama Dirty Jokes: Yo Mama Funny, Dirty, Filthy Joke Book For Adults - Uncensored edition
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