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Funny Humor Quotes

Browse 152 quotes about Funny Humor.

Funny Humor Quotes

“Yo Mama's like a library, open to the public.”

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Book:155 World's Funniest Yo Mama Dirty Jokes: Yo Mama Funny, Dirty, Filthy Joke Book For Adults - Uncensored edition
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“Yo Mama's so fat, her ass has its own congressman!”

HumorFunnyHumourJokesHumorousJokeFunny QuotesHumorous QuotesFunny HumorFunny And RandomFunny Book QuotesFunny JokesFunny JokeFunniest JokesWorld S Funniest JokesWorlds Funniest JokesYo Mama JokesYo Momma JokesYo MamaYour Mama JokesYour MommaYo Mama Adult JokesYo Mama Dirty JokesYo Mama Jokes For Adults
Book:155 World's Funniest Yo Mama Dirty Jokes: Yo Mama Funny, Dirty, Filthy Joke Book For Adults - Uncensored edition
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“Chuck Norris CAN understand women.”

HumorFunnyHumourJokesHumorousJokeFunny QuotesHumorous QuotesFunny HumorFunny And RandomFunny Book QuotesFunny JokesFunny JokeFunniest JokesWorld S Funniest JokesWorlds Funniest JokesChuck NorrisChuck Norris FactsChuck Norris Jokes
Book:155 World's Funniest Chuck Norris Jokes And Facts: The Best And Funniest Kick-ass Facts About Roughest, Toughest, Deadliest, Sexiest & The Most Fearless ... The Legend
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“If Yo Mama and Yo Daddy got a divorce, they'd still be brother and sister.”

HumorFunnyHumourJokesHumorousJokeFunny QuotesHumorous QuotesFunny HumorFunny And RandomFunny Book QuotesFunny JokesFunny JokeFunniest JokesWorld S Funniest JokesWorlds Funniest JokesYo Mama JokesYo Momma JokesYo MamaYour Mama JokesYour MommaYo Mama Adult JokesYo Mama Dirty JokesYo Mama Jokes For Adults
Book:155 World's Funniest Yo Mama Dirty Jokes: Yo Mama Funny, Dirty, Filthy Joke Book For Adults - Uncensored edition
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“Yo Mama's like mustard, she spreads easy.”

HumorFunnyHumourJokesHumorousJokeFunny QuotesHumorous QuotesFunny HumorFunny And RandomFunny Book QuotesFunny JokesFunny JokeFunniest JokesWorld S Funniest JokesWorlds Funniest JokesYo Mama JokesYo Momma JokesYo MamaYour Mama JokesYour MommaYo Mama Adult JokesYo Mama Dirty JokesYo Mama Jokes For Adults
Book:155 World's Funniest Yo Mama Dirty Jokes: Yo Mama Funny, Dirty, Filthy Joke Book For Adults - Uncensored edition
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“What’s the difference between Yo Mama and a 747? -About 20 pounds. -Yo mama carries more passengers. -Not everyone's been on a 747.”

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Author:Oliver Oliver Reed
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“The look in his eyes turned a little wild. "That's the only reason I'm letting you go. If I had any choice--" "You do," she said "Wed can all sit here and let him die. Or you can let Eve go on her wild-ass rescue mission and get herself killed. Or you can let sweet, calm, reasonable Claire go do some talking." He shook his head. His long, elegant hands, which looked so at home wrapped around a guitar, closed into fists. "Guess that means there's no choice." "Not really," Claire agreed. "I was kind of lying about that choice thing.”

ChoicesFunny HumorClaire DanversMichael Glass
Book:The Dead Girls' Dance
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“If you were smart," Genghis said, "you would have borrowed the silverware of one of your friends." "We never thought of that," Klaus said. When one is forced to tell atrocious lies, one often feels a guilty flutter in one's stomach, and Klaus felt such a flutter now. "You certainly are an intelligent man." "Not only am I intelligent," Genghis agreed, "but I'm also very smart.”

SmartLiesIntelligentWittyCleverFunny HumorLemony SnicketA Series Of Unfortunate EventsCount Olaf
Book:The Austere Academy
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“It seems like I've only shut my eyes for a few minutes, but when I open them, I flinch at the sight of Haymitch sitting a couple of feet from my bed. Waiting. Possibly for several hours if the clck is right. I think about hollering for a witness, but I'm going to have to face him sooner or later. Haymitch leans forward and dangles something on a thin white wire in front of my nose. It's hard to focus on, but I'm pretty sur what it is. He drops it in to the sheets. "That is your earpiece. I will give you exactly one more chance to wear it. If you remove it from your ear again, I'll have you fitted with this." He holds up some sort of metal headgear that I instantly name the head shackle. "It's alternative audio unit that locks around your skull and under your chin until it's opened with a key. And I'll have the only key. If for some reason you're clever enough to disable it" ---- Haymitch dumps the head shackle on the bed and whips out a tiny silver chip--- "I'll authorize them to surgically implant this transmitter into your ear so that I may speak to you twenty-four hours a day." Haymitch in my head full-time. Horrifying. "I'll keep the earpiece in," I mutter "Excuse me?" He says "I'll keep the earpiece in!" I say loud enough to wake half the hospital. "You sure? Because I'm equally happy with any of the three options," he tells me "I'm sure," I say. I scrunch up the earpiece protectivley in my fist and fling the head shakle back in his face with my free hand, but he catches it easily. Probably was expecting me to throw it. "Anything else?" Haymitch rises to go. "While I was waiting. . . I ate your lunch." My eyes take in the empty stew bowl and tray on my bed table. "I'm going to report you," I mumble into my pillow. "You do that sweetheart." He goes out, safe in the knowledge that I'm not the reporting kind.”

Funny HumorHaymitch And Katniss
Book:Mockingjay
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“Oh no?" he sneered, pulling a packet of cigarettes from his pocket and lighting one up. "Knowing what you're like, the slightest sign of a discarded cigarette butt and you would've been crawling around on your hands and knees trying to figure out how tall the smoker was, how old he was, what zodiac sign he was, whether he'd taken a crap that morning, and Christ knows what else.”

Funny HumorFunny Book QuotesFunny Humour
Book:Vampire Wake
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“In Norwegian that would be 'hun ma dra. Kanskje er hun gravid.'" Astley sttempts to smile. i can't help teasing him. "Which? Asking to go to the bathroom or dissing me because I'm pregnant." "you are with child?" his eyes open wid, all mock terrified. "No! Shut up. You know I'm not." I punch him in the arm and then lead him into the stairwell, shutting the door behind us. "Okay. Seriously, Astley, what happened to you? Why is your head bleeding?”

LoveHumorFunnyCarrieFunny HumorZaraEnticeAstleyCarrie Jones
Book:Entice
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“This was getting uglier by the minute, I thought. There really was no easy escape, since we were sitting far from the exit and the waiters knew me from prior dinner dates with Ashley and I hadn't paid the tab yet. From: "My Worst Valentine's Day.Ever: a Short Story”

New York CityShort StoryValentine S DayFunny HumorWhen Things Go WrongRelationship ProblemsShort Story CollectionBad BoyfriendsCaught In A LieWhat Comes Around Goes Around
Book:Stories and Scripts: an Anthology
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“Now that I've declared my religion, namely, NUTTISM; I anoint myself, Mr. NUTS, as its MESSIAH. And you damn well bow to our god, Mr. NOT. He reveals that your pal up there too is naught! Dare not criticize the messiah - me! Or you'll be kicked in the nuts by my pal Mr. NOT.”

God QuotesFunny QuotesDark HumorFunny HumorLaughter Is The Best MedicineHumour LifeJokes And WhateverHumourous QuotesHumourosly InspirationalNutty As A Fruitcake
Author:Fakeer Ishavardas
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“Religious nuts of the world, unite! I too will fly my kite. Let us set up a meet between your imaginary pal in the sky with my friend up there nowhere, Mr. NOT. We will let them slug it out. Whoever survives, will be our GOD! Long live the brotherhood of the nuts and naught!”

Good And EvilFunny HumorSpirituality Vs ReligionMadness And SanityWellness Evaluation Of LifestyleLaughter QuotesPhilosophical HumorHumourous QuotesJoking BanterJokes About Religion
Author:Fakeer Ishavardas
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