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Comical Quotes

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Comical Quotes

“When the sun peeped into the girls' room early next morning...he saw a comical sight. Each had made such preparation for the fete as seemed necessary and proper. Meg had an extra row of little curl papers across her forehead, Jo had copiously anointed her afflicted face with cold cream. Beth had taken Joanna to bed with her to atone for the approaching separation, and Amy had capped the climax by putting a clothespin on her nose, to uplift the offending feature. It was one of the kind artists use to hold their paper on the drawing boards, therefore quite appropriate and effective for the purpose to which it was now put. This funny spectacle appeared to amuse the sun, for he burst out with such radiance that Jo woke up, and roused the girls with a hearty laugh at Amy's ornament.”

MorningSunComicalLittle WomenCamp Lawrence
Book:Little Women
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“We rose from our chairs and bowed at each other, Japanese-style. The eight of them sat on the opposite side of the table to us, leaving the middle chair empty. All looking at us, no-one speaking a word. A long minute later, a very short, rather elderly lady – also dressed in funereal black – waddled in and seated herself in the empty chair in the middle of the row, directly facing us. She smiled; well, she attempted to twist her mouth. Too much effort. Her expression reverted to seriousness. Lin, sitting next to her, now spoke and introduced her as the Managing Director. She didn’t speak any English. Nor, it transpired, did any of the others – or if they did, we would never know, as either they weren’t brave enough to try or were inhibited by the business hierarchy. A scene that could have come out of Kafka.”

DifferentFictionHumourTravelUniqueWitLive LifeComicalCandourFiction Books
Book:There's No Business Like International Business: Business Travel – But Not As You Know It
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“In Brazil, every road, bridge and viaduct has been given a name, usually that of some long-forgotten personage who was once famous for doing something worthy. Honestly, every one of them; deeper into the country, I’ve even found unsurfaced dirt tracks given names. I’m never likely to have even five minutes of fame, but if I did, I don’t think I’d want to be remembered by a dirt track going from Nowhere Town to Obscure Village.”

DifferentChallengesFictionHumourTravelUniqueWitComicalCandourFiction Books
Book:There's No Business Like International Business: Business Travel – But Not As You Know It
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“Mierda.” José screeched to a halt, and reversed to start a three-point turn – of which points two and three never materialised as, looking back, the road from where we’d come was now filled side-to-side by an advancing column of police, some with riot shields, some on horseback, marching towards us. José decided, quite reasonably in my opinion, that this wasn’t a place to be trapped so his passenger could try out his Spanish with the Venezuelan Riot Police. His solution – drive straight ahead at a tangent to the road, across a vast stretch of wasteland.”

LifeChallengesFictionHumourUniqueEnjoymentEntertainingLive Life To The FullestComicalFiction Books
Book:There's No Business Like International Business: Business Travel – But Not As You Know It
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“...You see I believe in that stuff to: yoga and mystical powers. I once knew a man who could kill himself on command. Can you believe that? . . . Why do you laugh? . . . Believe it! By will of his own mind, he could make his heart stop beating for good' My neighbor poised and looked seriously at me, searching in my eyes. '...You laugh!' he repeated once more… 'You laugh, but he was a master at it! He could commit suicide at his own will!' Indeed, hearty laughter streamed through my nose. 'Could he do it perpetually?' I asked. 'Perpetually...?' My neighbor rubbed his waxy chin. 'I mean, is he still able to do it?' 'I’m not sure I understand.' 'Well? Then is he dead…?!' My neighbor's puzzled face slowly began to transform into a look of realization. 'But sir,' he said, 'Of course he’s dead! I mean to say... this man could kill himself on command, you see. And you don’t come back from the dead!' The two of us found ourselves crossing to the door so I could let my visitor out. I slapped him with friendliness on the shoulder. 'No, you don’t come back from the dead,' I agreed.”

FunnyDeathYogaSuicideMysticismComicalPayneThe WanderessMind PowersMystical Powers
Author:Roman Payne
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“The questions appeared to be pre-rehearsed. The senior people spoke to the young one in Japanese, and he translated. I answered, and he translated back. Another one. Another one. And one more, that I felt needed a longer answer. Only then did I also notice that there was a clock on the wall opposite me, ticking past 11:59. I opened my mouth and began my answer. To my astonishment, mid-sentence, everyone just stood up, bowed, turned to their right and, in line, walked out of the room. Even while I was talking. They weren’t being rude. It’s just how meetings in Japan work.”

DifferentChallengesFictionHumourTravelUniqueWitComicalCandourFiction Books
Book:There's No Business Like International Business: Business Travel – But Not As You Know It
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“How should I know?" said Alice, surprised at her own courage. "It's no business of mine." The Queen turned crimson with fury, and, after glaring at her for a moment like a wild beast, began screaming "Off with her head! Off with--" "Nonsense!" said Alice, very loudly and decidedly, and the Queen was silent.”

ComicalTo Get The Best Of
Book:Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland / Through the Looking-Glass
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“Throw the offerings!" Agnes and her husband had returned--- I could just make them out, clambering unsteadily down the hillside with their lanterns raised. In an act of ill-advised and entirely undeserved kindness, they had gathered up a handful of villagers to ride to the rescue of the idiot scholars who had tangled with the most fearsome of the local Folk, despite their warnings. A strangled sound escaped me, something between a sob and laugh. "Get back!" Eichorn shouted at the villagers. Rose was clambering to his feet, wheezing, for the fauns had released him to snatch at the "offerings" tossed their way by the villagers. I would have expected bloody hunks of meat, but instead, ludicrously, they seemed to be throwing vegetables--- carrots and onions, predominantly. How did it happen? The scene is a blur of noise and movement, to my memory. I believe I was laughing at the time--- yes, laughing. The image of those nightmarish beasts appeased by a hail of carrots was too much for my frayed composure, and for a moment it seemed this would become another story I told at conferences or to rouse a laugh from my students. For the Folk are terrible indeed, monsters or tyrants or both, but are they not also ridiculous? Whether they be violent beasts distracted by vegetables, or creatures powerful enough to spin straw into gold, which they will happily exchange for a simple necklace, or a great king overthrown by his own cloak, there is a thread of the absurd weaving through all faerie stories, to which the Folk themselves are utterly oblivious.”

CarrotsComicalRescuedOfferingsFauns
Book:Emily Wilde’s Map of the Otherlands
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“Through the years, you’ve released parts of you. Some went into the sewer, others you left at your friends’ houses, some on the sidewalk while riding your bike as a kid. Your body is used to being taken apart by pieces and put back together. Swapping parts is hardwired into human existence. It takes on a much larger role in death.”

FunYoung AdultEntertainingZombiesMagical RealismOriginalComicalHumourous Situations
Book:The Zombie Wizards of Ala-ka
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“Just as you drop body parts, those parts reassemble, and have done so continuously over the history of the earth. People decompose, become dirt, dirt becomes vegetables and fruit, animals and people eat the food that grows from the dirt that was once a body. It is all one big recycling program the earth does.”

FunYoung AdultEntertainingZombiesMagical RealismOriginalComicalHumourous Situations
Book:The Zombie Wizards of Ala-ka
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“It hurt to look at him. Hurt to know he wanted her but would not risk the pain of heartbreak a second time. Well, Briar Blakeley had already lost her heart to her husband. And she would be damned if she was going to be the only one in this marriage to do so.”

Historical RomanceScottish RomanceComicalRegency RomanceHighlander RomanceMarriage Of ConvenienceScottish Historical RomanceSteamy Regency Romance
Book:Lady Briar Weds the Scot
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“Foxbrush sneezed again. He couldn't help himself. It's not something a fellow likes to do when a stunningly beautiful woman is leaning toward him with an expression on her face like Nidawi's wore. But sneezes are not prey to the wants or wishes of those inflicted with them. He sneezed so violently that he nearly knocked his forehead against Nidawi's exquisite little chin. She leapt back lightly, frowning at first, then shaking the frown into a rain of laughter.”

HumourFairy TalesComicalAnne Elisabeth Stengl
Book:Shadow Hand
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“The whole group represented a powerful picture: Ivan Nikiforovich standing in the middle of the room in all his unadorned beauty! The woman, her mouth gaping and with a most senseless and fearful look on her face! Ivan Ivanovich with one arm raised aloft, the way Roman tribunes are portrayed! This was an extraordinary moment! a magnificent spectacle! And yet there was only one spectator: this was the boy in the boundless frock coat, who stood quite calmly and cleaned his nose with his finger.”

SceneComicalNakedness
Book:The Collected Tales of Nikolai Gogol
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“Swearing, d’Angelo entered the elevator. Fortunately, that was also still in order. When he got to the bridge, everything looked pretty ordinary – except for the third body of the day, which was lying spread-eagled on the deck with an almost comical look of surprise on his face. Jang was dead, although d’Angelo couldn’t see the cause, but then, he was no doctor. He sighed dismally. Now he hadn’t a navigator either. Or a crew for that matter.”

MatterLyingOrderDeadEverythingFaceSeeDoctorTheSwearingCauseComicalWhenHeWasThenAlmostElevatorThirdEitherLookedNavigatorSighedFortunatelyDismallyJangSpread Eagled
Book:Blachart
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“Winston couldn't remember the last time he'd had one of these lonesome summer weekdays. He felt betrayed. How dare his friends live the portions of their lives that didn't include him? On days like this, he used to shovel breakfast cereal into his mouth, then bolt outside to play, only to discover nine-tenths of his world was missing. Downcast, he'd return home and skim his sole Hardy Boys mystery, The Missing Chums, blind to the title's irony. After a few boring pages, he'd behead a few of his sister's dolls, then fight her off with a knife. Then they'd share a cantaloupe half, arguing about whether it tasted better with or without salt.”

SiblingsComical
Author:Paul Beatty
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“Throughout history, parents have tried to name their offspring in a manner that would foretell the trajectory of their future. It’s one of the first spells humans encounter in this life. Little did your parents know what would happen today, for you, because of your name, but they blessed this day for you.”

FunYoung AdultEntertainingZombiesMagical RealismOriginalComicalHumourous Situations
Book:The Zombie Wizards of Ala-ka
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