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Bill Watterson

Bill Watterson Quotes

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Famous Bill Watterson Quotes

“We don't value craftsmanship anymore! All we value is ruthless efficiency, and I say we deny our own humanity that way! Without appreciation for grace and beauty, there's no pleasure in creating things and no pleasure in having them! Our lives are made drearier, rather than richer! How can a person take pride in his work when skill and care are considered luxuries! We're not machines! We have a human need for craftsmanship!”

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Book:There's Treasure Everywhere
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“Nowadays, ads don't just sell a product. They sell an attitude! Look at this one! Here's a cool guy saying nobody tells him what to do. He does whatever he wants and he buys this product as a reflection of that independence. So basically, this maverick is urging everyone to express his individuality through conformity in brand-name selection?”

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Book:There's Treasure Everywhere
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“Susie: Hi Calvin! Aren't you excited about going to school? Look at all these great school supplies I got! I love having new notebooks and stuff! Calvin:All I've got to say is they're not making me learn any foreign languages. If English is good enough for me, then by golly, it's good enough for the rest of the world! Everyone should just speak English or shut up, that's what I say! Susie: You should maybe check the chemical content of your breakfast cereal.”

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Book:The Revenge of the Baby-Sat
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“Creating a life that reflects your values and satisfies your soul is a rare achievement. In a culture that relentlessly promotes avarice and excess as the good life, a person happy doing his own work is usually considered an eccentric, if not a subversive. Ambition is only understood if it’s to rise to the top of some imaginary ladder of success. Someone who takes an undemanding job because it affords him the time to pursue other interests and activities is considered a flake. A person who abandons a career in order to stay home and raise children is considered not to be living up to his potential — as if a job title and salary are the sole measure of human worth. You’ll be told in a hundred ways, some subtle and some not, to keep climbing, and never be satisfied with where you are, who you are, and what you’re doing. There are a million ways to sell yourself out, and I guarantee you’ll hear about them. To invent your own life’s meaning is not easy, but it’s still allowed, and I think you’ll be happier for the trouble.”

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Author:Bill Watterson
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“Calvin and Hobbes are chatting. HOBBES: Aren't you supposed to be doing homework now? CALVIN: I quit doing homework. Homework is bad for my self-esteem. HOBBES: It is? CALVIN: Sure! It sends the message that I don't know enough. All that emphasis on right answers makes me feel bad when I get them wrong. CALVIN: So instead of trying to learn, I'm just concentrating on liking myself the way I am. HOBBES: Your self-esteem is enhanced by remaining an ignoramus? CALVIN: Please! Let's call it 'informationally impaired.”

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Book:The Days Are Just Packed
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“At the dinner table... CALVIN, looking like an x-ray version of himself: Bombarded by high energy photons, Calvin is transformed into a living x-ray. CALVIN: Although this condition will facilitate future medical diagnoses, it does make Calvin's presence at the dinner table a disgusting ordeal. CALVIN: Everyone can see Calvin's food being ground into mushy pulp and swallowed! At this moment, Calvin chews up a large spoonful of creamed corn! CALVIN'S DAD, leaning in at the dinner table: For gosh sakes, close your mouth when you chew!! You think we want to SEE that? CALVIN, physically back to normal, except that his mouth is open amazingly wide, with full view of his current mouthful: MKGHH! SMACK! BLAGHKH!”

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Book:Yukon Ho!
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“When a person pauses in mid-sentence to choose a word, that's the best time to jump in and change the subject! It's like an interception in football! You grab the others guy's idea and run the opposite way with it! The more sentences you complete, the higher your score! The idea is to block the other guy's thoughts and express your own! That's how you win! Conversations aren't contests! Ok, a point for you, but I'm still ahead.”

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Book:It's a Magical World
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“CALVIN'S DAD: What story would you like tonight? We can read anything except... CALVIN, INTERRUPTING HIM: "Hamster Huey and the Gooey Kablooie"! CALVIN'S DAD, IN ANGUISH: NO! No Hamster Huey tonight! We've read that book a million times! CALVIN: I want Hamster Huey! CALVIN'S DAD, Nearly Pleading: Look, you KNOW how the story goes. You've memorized the whole thing! It's the same story every day! CALVIN, Screaming: I want Hamster Huey! CALVIN, LYING IN BED WITH EYES OF WONDERMENT: Wow, the story was different THAT time! HOBBES, LYING IN BED NEXT TO CALVIN, ALSO WITH EYES OF WONDERMENT: Do you think the townsfolk will ever find Hamster Huey's head?”

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Book:The Days Are Just Packed
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“Calvin's Mom confronts him as he stands at the open front door, going to school: Calvin, are you going to take that stuffed tiger to school again? Calvin: Sure. Calvin's Mom: Don't the kids make fun of you? Calvin: Tommy Chestnutt did once, and now nobody does. Calvin's Mom: Why? What happened to Tommy Chestnutt ? Calvin: Hobbes ate him! Hobbes [The stuffed tiger]: Ugh! He needed a bath, too.”

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Book:Calvin & Hobbes
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“[Uh-oh, it's bath time for Calvin.] MOM, who sits in the living room, has turned toward the door. Very likely she is screaming the following words at the top of her lungs: CALVIN! Quiet down and quit that splashing! I don't want to have to clean the whole bathroom! CALVIN: Ha! I pulled the plug! Down the drain with you! DIE, FIEND! DIE, DIE!! MOM [By now she's sitting in a normal position on her armchair, trying to read a book, when she has apparently just heard an unexpected noise]: Don't tell me he's letting the water out already. CALVIN, now standing right in back of his mother. He's naked, scowling full force, and dripping: Believe it, lady.”

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Book:Calvin & Hobbes
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“[At first, Calvin's at school, in his classroom.] CALVIN'S TEACHER: "We'll see what the principal has to say about your attention span, young man." A THOUGHT BUBBLE FANTASY FROM CALVIN's MIND (With visuals to match.) "The valiant Spaceman Spiff has been captured." A THOUGHT BUBBLE FANTASY FROM CALVIN's MIND (With visuals to match, coming from a space alien.) "The aliens doubtlessly want the secret formula to the Atomic Napalm Neutralizer!" ANOTHER THOUGHT BUBBLE FANTASY FROM CALVIN's MIND "Moments from the torture chamber, Spiff springs into ACTION." CALVIN, HIS TEACHER, AND THE PRINCIPAL. (The school principal is looking at Calvin, who seems intent on something...) THE PRINCIPAL: "Why is he eating his hall pass?”

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Book:Calvin & Hobbes
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“Both Calvin and Hobbes are sitting on a carpet, a "magic carpet." They're riding in the sky, among the clouds. CALVIN: Hey, let's fly into the city and buzz Dad's office. CALVIN: Ha! Won't he be surprised whenhe sees US out his 20th-floor window. HOBBES: What if he's mad that we took the hallway rug? CALVIN: What's to get mad about?" We wiped our feet first. HOBBES: Yeah, but all this city mileage may hurt the resale value.”

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Author:Bill Watterson
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“CALVIN: Hey, I got some mail! It's a Valentine card. HOBBES: From Susie Derkins! CALVIN: It says "Please be my Valentine." HOBBES: You're Susie's Valentine! CALVIN: I'm not her Valentine just because I got this in the mail, am I? Does the Post Master General know about this? HOBBES: Calvin and Susie, sitting in a tree-ee! Kay-eye-ess-ess-eye-en-gee! CALVIN: I don't have the KISS her, do I?! Is that what Valentines do??! Oh, gross! HOBBES: First comes lo-ove, then comes marriage, then comes a baby in a baby carriage! CALVIN: This can't be happening! I need a lawyer! She can't make me be her Valentine! HOBBES: Here she comes! Here comes Susie! SUSIE: Hi, Calvin. CALVIN: Get away from me! I'm not your Valentine! Take your card back! Eww! Girls! YECCHH! SUSIE: That card wasn't for YOU, you Moron. Didn't you read the back of the envelope? CALVIN: "Calvin, please give this to Hobbes." HOBBES?! HOBBES: Me? Really? Hot dog! Smooch City, here I come!”

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Book:The Indispensable Calvin and Hobbes
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“Amazingly, much of the best cartoon work was done early on in the medium's history. The early cartoonists, with no path before them, produced work of such sophistication, wit, and beauty that it increasingly seems to me that cartoon evolution is working backward. Comic strips are moving toward a primordial goo rather than away from it . . . Not only can comics be more than we're getting today. but the comics already have been more than we're getting today.”

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Author:Bill Watterson
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“If you have the personalities down, you understand them and identify with them; you can stick them in any situation and have a pretty good idea of how they're going to respond. Then it's just a matter of sanding and polishing up the jokes. But if you've got more ambiguous characters or stock stereotypes, the plastic comes through and they don't work as well. These two characters clicked for me almost immediately and I feel very comfortable working with them.”

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Author:Bill Watterson
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“We're not really taught how to recreate constructively. We need to do more than find diversions; we need to restore and expand ourselves. Our idea of relaxing is all too often to plop down in front of the television set and let its pandering idiocy liquefy our brains. Shutting off the thought process is not rejuvenating; the mind is like a car battery - it recharges by running.”

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Author:Bill Watterson
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“At school, new ideas are thrust at you every day. Out in the world, you’ll have to find the inner motivation to search for new ideas on your own. With any luck at all, you’ll never need to take an idea and squeeze a punchline out of it, but as bright, creative people, you’ll be called upon to generate ideas and solutions all your lives. Letting your mind play is the best way to solve problems.”

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Author:Bill Watterson
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“I tell you all this because it's worth recognizing that there is no such thing as an overnight success. You will do well to cultivate the resources in yourself that bring you happiness outside of success or failure. The truth is, most of us discover where we are headed when we arrive. At that time, we turn around and say, yes, this is obviously where I was going all along. It's a good idea to try to enjoy the scenery on the detours, because you'll probably take a few.”

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Author:Bill Watterson
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“I wish people were more like animals. Animals don't try to change you or make you fit in. They just enjoy the pleasure of your company. Animals aren't conditional about friendships. Animals like you just the way you are. They listen to your problems, they comfort you when you're sad, and all they ask in return is a little kindness.”

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Author:Bill Watterson
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