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Idiocy Quotes

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Idiocy Quotes

“Why, these men would destroy the Bible on evidence that would not convict a habitual criminal of a misdemeanor. They found a tooth in a sand pit in Nebraska with no other bones about it, and from that one tooth decided that it was the remains of the missing link. They have queer ideas about age too. They find a fossil and when they are asked how old it is they say they can't tell without knowing what rock it was in, and when they are asked how old the rock is they say they can't tell unless they know how old the fossil is.”

ChristianityIgnoranceBibleEvidenceLiesQueerUntrueTheismIdiocyCreationismThe BibleNebraska Man
Book:The Bible Or Evolution
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“Someone. Everyone. Anyone. No-one. One. One can't be everyone, but there isn't more than one everyone, at the same time. And at the same time no-one can't be someone, but anyone can be one, and also anyone can be a no-one. To sum up - everyone is someone, and any-one becomes a no-one if you divide the one part long enough by every part of every-one, so in conclusion, I have no idea what I’m talking about, basically.”

IdeasDifferencesTalkingLogicIncreaseMathematicsConclusionMeaningParadoxDivisionLackingNothingIdeaRiddleOneDividingMoreIdiocySomeoneEveryonePuzzlePartialityPartAnyoneMeaningsNo OneBasicPartialSumMoronismBasically
Book:Nothing is here...
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“The television commercial has mounted the most serious assault on capitalist ideology since the publication of Das Kapital. To understand why, we must remind ourselves that capitalism, like science and liberal democracy, was an outgrowth of the Enlightenment. Its principal theorists, even its most prosperous practitioners, believed capitalism to be based on the idea that both buyer and seller are sufficiently mature, well informed and reasonable to engage in transactions of mutual self-interest. If greed was taken to be the fuel of the capitalist engine, the surely rationality was the driver. The theory states, in part, that competition in the marketplace requires that the buyer not only knows what is good for him but also what is good. If the seller produces nothing of value, as determined by a rational marketplace, then he loses out. It is the assumption of rationality among buyers that spurs competitors to become winners, and winners to keep on winning. Where it is assumed that a buyer is unable to make rational decisions, laws are passed to invalidate transactions, as, for example, those which prohibit children from making contracts...Of course, the practice of capitalism has its contradictions...But television commercials make hash of it...By substituting images for claims, the pictorial commercial made emotional appeal, not tests of truth, the basis of consumer decisions. The distance between rationality and advertising is now so wide that it is difficult to remember that there once existed a connection between them. Today, on television commercials, propositions are as scarce as unattractive people. The truth or falsity of an advertiser's claim is simply not an issue. A McDonald's commercial, for example, is not a series of testable, logically ordered assertions. It is a drama--a mythology, if you will--of handsome people selling, buying and eating hamburgers, and being driven to near ecstasy by their good fortune. No claim are made, except those the viewer projects onto or infers from the drama. One can like or dislike a television commercial, of course. But one cannot refute it.”

TelevisionDramaLogicAdvertisingMcdonaldsIdiocyPublic DiscourseTelevision CommercialsEmotional AppealCommercialsFalsities
Book:Amusing Ourselves to Death: Public Discourse in the Age of Show Business
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“A solemn day. Barring a stay by Sup Ct, & with my final nod, Utah will use most extreme power & execute a killer. Mourn his victims. Justice. [...] I just gave the go ahead to Corrections Director to proceed with Gardner's execution. May God grant him the mercy he denied his victims. [...] We will be streaming live my press conference as soon as I'm told Gardner is dead. Watch it at www.attorneygeneral.Utah.gov/live.html.”

GodDeathReligionMercyMurderDeath PenaltyVictimsIdiocyUtahPress ConferencesPsychopathyExecutionsFiring SquadsAttorney GeneralsRonnie Lee GardnerUtah Department Of Corrections
Author:Mark L. Shurtleff
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“Osaka: Ah Get to ponderin' when Christmas rolls around. Y'all know Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer? That's messed up, y'know? Saying his nose will help light the way at night ain't no way t'make him feel better about it. If you told a bald fella you needed the light reflecting off his head to see, he'd like to punch you. Santa's a cruel bully.”

ThinkingThoughtsChristmasMangaRandomIdiocyRandom ThoughtsOsakaRudolph The Red Nosed Reindeer
Book:Azumanga Daioh: The Omnibus
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“The last time that I consciously wrote anything to 'save the honor of the Left', as I rather pompously put it, was my little book on the crookedness and cowardice and corruption (to put it no higher) of Clinton. I used leftist categories to measure him, in other words, and to show how idiotic was the belief that he was a liberal's champion. Again, more leftists than you might think were on my side or in my corner, and the book was published by Verso, which is the publishing arm of the New Left Review. However, if a near-majority of leftists and liberals choose to think that Clinton was the target of a witch-hunt and the victim of 'sexual McCarthyism', an Arkansan Alger Hiss in other words, you become weary of debating on their terms and leave them to make the best of it.”

SexCorruptionDebateLiberalismDelusionCowardiceIdiocyArkansasLeftismWitch HuntMccarthyismBill ClintonImpeachment Of Bill ClintonLewinsky ScandalAlger HissNew Left ReviewVerso Books
Book:Christopher Hitchens and His Critics: Terror, Iraq, and the Left
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“I'll make a book on learning how to be a complete moron someday, and I'm sure no one will buy it, because everyone will have mastered that already by the time I gather enough moronism to process it into digestible upgrade instructions for your average village cyborg-idiot.”

WritingBookCertainReligionProcessStupidBooksFutureAverageStupidityCertaintyIdiotMasteryRobotsNothingSalesMasterProcessingCompletenessImplementationCompleteIdiocyMormonismIdiotsRobotCyborgCyborgsUpgradeInstructionsMoronismDigesting
Book:Nothing is here...
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“Well?” Amelia demanded, clearly unaware of the turn of his thoughts. Which was a good thing, as they likely would have sent her screaming from the room. “Have you discovered anything about my brother’s whereabouts?” “I have.” “And?” “Lord Ramsay visited earlier this evening, lost some money at the hazard table—” “Thank God he’s alive,” Amelia exclaimed. “—and apparently decided to console himself by visiting a nearby brothel.” “Brothel?” She shot Merripen an exasperated glance. “I swear it, Merripen, he’ll die at my hands tonight.” She looked back at Cam. “How much did he lose at the hazard table?” “Approximately five hundred pounds.” The pretty blue eyes widened in outrage. “He’ll die slowly at my hands. Which brothel?” “Bradshaw’s.” Amelia reached for her bonnet. “Come, Merripen. We’re going there to collect him.” Both Merripen and Cam replied at the same time. “No.” “I want to see for myself if he’s all right,” she said calmly. “I very much doubt he is.” She gave Merripen a frosty stare. “I’m not returning home without Leo.” Half amused, half alarmed by her force of will, Cam asked Merripen, “Am I dealing with stubbornness, idiocy, or some combination of the two?” Amelia replied before Merripen had the opportunity. “Stubbornness, on my part. The idiocy may be attributed entirely to my brother.” She settled the bonnet on her head and tied its ribbons beneath her chin.”

AmeliaHahaIdiocyCamMerripenStubborness
Book:Mine Till Midnight
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“When Benjamin Franklin invented the lightning-rod, the clergy, both in England and America, with the enthusiastic support of George III, condemned it as an impious attempt to defeat the will of God. For, as all right-thinking people were aware, lightning is sent by God to punish impiety or some other grave sin—the virtuous are never struck by lightning. Therefore if God wants to strike any one, Benjamin Franklin [and his lightning-rod] ought not to defeat His design; indeed, to do so is helping criminals to escape. But God was equal to the occasion, if we are to believe the eminent Dr. Price, one of the leading divines of Boston. Lightning having been rendered ineffectual by the 'iron points invented by the sagacious Dr. Franklin,' Massachusetts was shaken by earthquakes, which Dr. Price perceived to be due to God's wrath at the 'iron points.' In a sermon on the subject he said, 'In Boston are more erected than elsewhere in New England, and Boston seems to be more dreadfully shaken. Oh! there is no getting out of the mighty hand of God.' Apparently, however, Providence gave up all hope of curing Boston of its wickedness, for, though lightning-rods became more and more common, earthquakes in Massachusetts have remained rare.”

GodAmericaReligionChristianityDesignDivineEnglandProvidenceLightningWickednessBostonPietySuperstitionFranklinClergyNew EnglandMassachusettsIdiocyHand Of GodBenjamin FranklinGeorge IiiImpiousLightning Rod
Book:An Outline of Intellectual Rubbish: A Hilarious Catalogue of Organized and Individual Stupidity
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“Printed works do not take up mental space simply by virtue of being there; attention must be paid or their content, whether simple or complex, can never be truly assimilated. The willed attention demanded by print is the antithesis of the reflexive distraction encouraged by infotainment media, whether one is talking about the tunes on an iPod, a picture flashing briefly on a home page, a text message, a video game, or the latest offering of "reality" TV. That all of these sources of information and entertainment are capable of simultaneously engendering distraction and absorption accounts for much of their snakelike charm.”

IdiocyReading MotivationInfotainment
Book:The Age of American Unreason
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“You want to know what I'm afraid of? All right, I'll tell you. I'm afraid of men - yes, I'm very much afraid of men. And I'm even more afraid of women. And I'm very much afraid of the whole bloody human race. Afraid of them? Of course I'm afraid of them. Who wouldn't be afraid of a pack of damned hyenas? [...] And when I say afraid - that's just a word I use. What I really mean is that I hate them. I hate their voices, I hate their eyes, I hate the way they laugh. I hate the whole bloody business. It's cruel, it's idiotic, it's unspeakably horrible. I never had the guts to kill myself or I'd have got out of it long ago.”

MenHateHumanityFearWomenHorrorSuicideHorribleCrueltyHuman RaceGutsAfraidIdioticCruelIdiocyHyenas
Book:Good Morning, Midnight
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“Those who are skilled in archery bend their bow only when they are preparing to use it; when they do not require it, they allow it to remain unbent, for otherwise it would remain unserviceable when the time for using it arrived. So it is with man. If he were to devote himself unceasingly to a dull round of business, without breaking the monotony by cheerful amusements, he would fall imperceptibly into idiocy, or be struck by paralysis”

IfsMenUseFallBusinessRoundsDullBowsPreparingCheerfulAmusementMonotonyParalysisIdiocyArchery
Author:Herodotus
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“We're not really taught how to recreate constructively. We need to do more than find diversions; we need to restore and expand ourselves. Our idea of relaxing is all too often to plop down in front of the television set and let its pandering idiocy liquefy our brains. Shutting off the thought process is not rejuvenating; the mind is like a car battery - it recharges by running.”

NeedsMindIdeasMotivationalRunningProcessBrainCarFrontsTelevisionTaughtBatteriesDiversionIdiocyThought Process
Author:Bill Watterson
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“Let the rabbit of free enterprise out of its velveteen bag and too many people would have to be fired, too much idiocy exposed to the light of judgment or ridicule, too much vanity sacrificed to the fires of efficiency. Such a catastrophe obviously would threaten the American way of life, to say nothing of the belief in free markets.”

PeopleWayLightBeliefFireToo MuchJudgmentVanityEnterpriseBagsExposedEfficiencyCatastropheRidiculeFree MarketRabbitsFree EnterpriseIdiocyAmerican Way Of Life
Book:Money and Class in America: Notes and Observations on the Civil Religion
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“For the lost are lost by nature, all your ideas of moral regeneration will make no difference, there is AN INNATE DETERMINISM, there is an undeniable incurability in suicide, crime, idiocy, madness, there is an invincible cuckoldry in man, there is a congenital weakness of the character, a castration of the mind.”

MenMindIdeasCharacterLostDifferencesMoralCrimeWeaknessMadnessSuicideInnateInvincibleDeterminismRegenerationIdiocyCastration
Author:Antonin Artaud
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“The real damage from terrorist attacks doesn't come from the explosion. The real damage is done after the explosion, by the victims, who repeatedly and determinedly attack themselves, giving over reason in favor of terror... Terrorism is about magnifying one mediagenic act of violence into one hundred billion acts of terrorized authoritarian idiocy.”

GivingRealReasonDoneViolenceHundredVictimTerrorTerrorismFavorsBillionsTerroristDamageExplosionsTerrorist AttacksIdiocyActs Of ViolenceMagnifyingSelf GivingDamage Is Done
Author:Cory Doctorow
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“Art and Entertainment are the same thing, in that the more deeply and genuinely entertaining a work is, the better art it is. To imply that Art is something heavy and solemn and dull, and Entertainment is modest but jolly and popular, is neo-Victorian idiocy at its worst.”

ArtWorstArt IsEntertainmentHeavyDullEntertainingModestSolemnVictorianJollyIdiocy
Book:The Language of the Night: Essays on Fantasy and Science Fiction
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“When a new post-war generation has grown to puberty and to youth and to manhood and womanhood, it should read, and it should be realistically told, of the futility, the idiocy, the utter depravity of war. For that matter, this instruction could begin at the age of six with the taking of those toy guns out of those toy holsters and throwing them in the ash-cans where they belong.”

ShouldWarMatterAgeGenerationsYouthSixGunPostsThrowingInstructionToysAshesWomanhoodManhoodFutilityDepravityPubertyIdiocyPost WarToy Guns
Author:Edna Ferber
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“In the field of economics we maintain to this day some of the most primitive ideas, some of the most radically false ideas, some of the most absurd ideas a brain can hold. ... but all this give no uneasiness to the average brain. That long-suffering organ has been trained for more thousands of years than history can uncover to hold in unquestioning patience great blocks of irrelevant idiocy and large active lies.”

GivingYearsLongHas BeensIdeasLyingSufferingBrainFieldsEconomicsAverageActiveAbsurdBlockThis DayOrgansPrimitiveIrrelevantIdiocyGullibilityUneasinessLong Suffering
Author:Charlotte Perkins Gilman
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“The longer I live, the more I am certified that men, in all that relates to their own health, have not common sense! whether it be their pride, or their impatience, or their obstinancy, or their ingrained spirit of contradiction, that stupefies and misleads them, the result is always a certain amount of idiocy, or distraction in their dealings with their own bodies! ... either by their wild impatience of bodily suffering, and the exaggerated moan they make over it, or else by their reckless defiance of it, and neglect of every dictate of prudence!”

MenBodySpiritCertainSufferingResultsCommonPrideAmountCommon SenseRelateContradictionOver ItNeglectDistractionPrudenceRecklessImpatienceMisleadDefianceExaggeratedDealingsIdiocy
Author:Jane Welsh Carlyle
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“What does a man need - really need? A few pounds of food each day, heat and shelter, six feet to lie down in - and some form of working activity that will yield a sense of accomplishment. That's all - in the material sense, and we know it. But we are brainwashed by our economic system until we end up in a tomb beneath a pyramid of time payments, mortgages, preposterous gadgetry, playthings that divert our attention from the sheer idiocy of the charade. The years thunder by.”

KnowsNeedsYearsPersonsDoeEndsFormLyingAttentionFeetEconomicMaterialsActivitySixAccomplishmentHeatEach DayPoundsYieldShelterSheerConsumerismThunderPaymentTombsMortgagePyramidsOverconsumptionEconomic SystemsBrainwashedIdiocySense Of AccomplishmentCharades
Author:Sterling Hayden
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