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Quote by Craig Ferguson

“Director Oliver Stone says he's going to make a movie about Vladimir Putin. I can't believe anyone would want to work with that insane communist. And Putin is a little crazy as well.”

Quote by Craig Ferguson

Author

English biography, 120-180 words more

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“Thank heaven Election Day is over. No more campaign ads, no more mud-slinging, no more candidates pretending they're straight. It's over!”

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“Clay Aiken ran for Congress in North Carolina. But he didn't make it. Clay Aiken is famous for coming in second in a TV popularity contest that most people got fed up with years ago. He also lost on 'American Idol.'”

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“For the first time in history, Congress has 100 women in it. Congratulations. Welcome to modern times, America. It's great having 100 women in Congress. Unless you're in line for the congressional bathroom.”

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“It's fantastic that Congress has an increasing number of women. Experts call an increasingly female presence in a previously male space 'the Bruce Jenner effect.'”

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“What dogs? These are my children, little people with fur who make my heart open a little wider.”

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“I have created a life by stepping out of the box of people's limitations. I call it zigging when others are zagging.”

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“The future is not what it used to be.”

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“American voters should understand that Congress will always find a way to spend every last dollar sent to Washington.”

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“Remember, politicians get votes by promising everything to everyone, always at the expense of some other invisible taxpayers.”

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“The federal government cannot maintain a budget surplus any more than an alcoholic can leave a fresh bottle of whiskey untouched in the cupboard.”

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