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How to Fall Out of Love Madly

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Jana Casale

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“Do you do well alone?' I wanted to ask, but something held me back. 'Why don't you have a beau, a bevy of visitors, or even a husband? Is it just your nerves or is it something else?' I did not ask her because she could easily have turned the question around on me and what would I have said? That I was shy of others; that I was lonely, and yet used to it? That I seemed to lack some vital element that other women had which made it easy for them to love and be loved in return.”

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“Most of the calories that men in these societies provision come from hunting or fishing. So in many hunter-gatherer groups it's not unusual for men to contribute up to 90 percent or more of the protein eaten by their families and band. These valuable nutrients and fat, however, come from vertebrate meat. And hunting requires many years of investment to master; even then, return rates are often low and quite variable. among contemporary foraging groups, vertebrate meat can range from anywhere between 30 percent and 80 percent of the diet. So women's work is extremely important since women extract more constant and predictable food resources, including roots, nuts, seeds, invertebrate meat, and plant fibers that require a large amount of effort to process. Therefore, both sexes depend very much on one another to divide their labor between the staples needed to survive and the high-value nutrients required to thrive.”

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Book:Our Political Nature: The Evolutionary Origins of What Divides Us
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“Saying no to people who want you to say yes, and upholding your boundaries with people who were used to having none, will at first feel terrible. Like a death. And it is a death of sorts. The death of the part of you that thinks you have to violate yourself to make it in life or be valued. You most likely will surrounded by people who are used to being accommodating or passive. At first, they feel threatened by you asserting your boundaries. This is ok. And in time they will get used to it. Just like in time you'll get used to understanding, that when people act like assholes when you say now, isn't about you. It's about them.”

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Book:Quit Like a Woman: The Radical Choice to Not Drink in a Culture Obsessed with Alcohol
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