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Quote by Gift Gugu Mona

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A Manual for Victory

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Gift Gugu Mona

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“it felt like permission. The kind I hadn't let myself have for six months. The kind of permission that I'd been waiting for, as I sat alone in my aunt's apartment, and grief welled up so high it felt suffocating. The permission I thought I'd given myself, but it hadn't been permission to cry - it had been a command to be strong. To be okay. I told myself, over and over, I had to be okay. And finally - finally - someone gave me permission to come undone.”

“My husband loved nature, and he planted flowers and created a living garden, with pink and white peonies and other beautiful flowers, at the front of our house in Ottawa. Those flowers began to bloom in the weeks after he died. I felt like my heart was going to burst. They were coming to life, and he was gone.”

“Maybe she liked Van Gogh's work for other reasons, too. Maybe she liked how he created things while never knowing his own value. Maybe she liked the thought of being imperfect, but being loved anyway. Maybe she felt some sort of kinship with a man who, for his entire adult life, warred with his own monsters in his head. Vincent Van Gogh's last words were, after his brother comforted him by telling him he would get better from the self-inflicted gunshot wound to the chest, "La tristesse durera toujours", "the sadness will last forever".”

“Grief has a way of sneaking into our lives uninvited, filling spaces we didn’t even know existed. But what happens when it arrives early, settling in before the loss itself even unfolds? In such situations, this refers to ANTICIPATORY GRIEF. Does grieving early lessen the sting when the final loss occurs? Or if it’s merely a futile attempt to prepare our hearts for something it can never truly be ready for. The begs the question, does anticipatory grief help us cope, or does it only deepen the wound?”

“Closure isn't a point of arrival but a gentle letting go, a space where unspoken words find rest. Without closure, the heart can feel suspended, searching for the end of something that remains unfinished. Some losses carry a silence that only rituals can fill, offering a sense of closure that words alone cannot. Closure is less about endings and more about finding peace with the unresolved.”